I Dreamed a Dream

I liked to daydream when I was growing up.  A lot.  I had a very good childhood/adolescence, but I think it is sort of natural for kids in their teens to strive for something different once in a while.  I was probably overly odd in my daydreams, I'm sure.  I played the trumpet when I was younger all the way through college.  I wasn't really great at it -- maybe above average barely, but not extraordinary or super talented.  But I did enjoy it a lot.  I also LOVED musicals, especially the more modern and complicated musicals by composers like Andrew Lloyd Webber and the like. So in my greatest dreams I really, really thought that it would be total heaven if I could one day get to be in the pit orchestra for the musical, Les Miserables.  

Oh, how I love that musical!  I remember when I was first introduced to Les Mis.  I was in high school, and while I got ready for school the TV would be on in the living room, and it was usually tuned to the Today Show on NBC.  One day I heard an interview that they were doing with cast members from the newest Broadway hit, Les Miserables.  I had never heard of this musical before, so I was only half listening to the interview, but they were talking to the original London cast member who played Jean Valjean, Colm Wilkinson.  He was talking about how he found the inspiration for his amazing part in the musical, and in particular he was talking about Valjean's signature song, Bring Him Home.  He talked about how he thought of that prayer as an intimate communication with God and how that inspired his singing.  

And then he began to sing . . .

It was probably the most beautiful song that I had ever heard to that point in my life.  I was completely enthralled.  I couldn't stop thinking about it all that day.  That year I asked Santa to bring me a tape (for my kids -- those things that we had to use before CDs were invented if we wanted to hear music) of the music of Les Miserables.  I must have been a good girl that year because Santa brought me just what I wanted, and I got the extended version of the music sung by the London cast.  I think it may have been one of the best Christmas gifts I ever got.  I listened and listened and listened to that tape all day long, every day. 

Here is Bring Him Home, sung by the amazing Alfie Boe for the 25th anniversary concert celebration of Les Mis:

But my dream didn't just end with my being a member of the pit orchestra.  Oh no.  When I was young, I dreamed big.  My absolute favorite character in the musical is Enjolras, the leader of the student rebellion.  Other than Valjean and Inspector Javert, Enjolras was the male character in the musical with the biggest voice, and the guy that played him in my London recording had one of those voices that just reached into my soul.  I loved that voice without a face!  That guy was definitely going to be my boyfriend.  Like I say, I dreamed big.  How could he not fall in love with the sweet little trumpet player accompanying him from the pit orchestra?  I mean, how could he resist me?  Really.  

Les Mis has an incredible set that is gigantic, and at the time it was so large that it couldn't appear in many cities of the US because there were not stages big enough to accommodate the barricades.  Luckily, Kansas City had one of the places that could hold the stage, so as soon as I found out that there would be tickets available I rushed out and bought some.  I can't remember who came with me to that first performance -- maybe my brother, Bryan.  I don't know.  I just know that I came away from that performance in absolute awe of the musical.  My emotions were soaring.  I was in love -- with the musical!

There is a character in the musical, Eponine, who I related to so much.  Looking back in retrospect I can see that I was vastly overstating the issues in my life if I thought that anything in my life even remotely resembled Eponine's.  I mean Eponine was basically abandoned by her horrible parents to roam the dangerous streets of Paris. She fell in love with Marius, who in turn fell in love with Cosette, never recognizing Eponine's love until it was too late.  She sacrificed herself and her happiness to save Marius and Cosette.  Very tragic.  Nothing like my piddley high school drama issues.  And yet, I thought she was just like me.  It helped that her voice range fit mine wonderfully, so I could really belt out her songs, and at least in my head I sounded just as awesome as she did.  At least I could nail the emotion of the piece if nothing else.  

Here in Eponine's signature piece, On My Own, she sings about her love for Marius that is not returned.  So heartbreaking!  This is the amazing (I know I'm using that word too much in this post, but it's true) Samantha Barks:

Okay, so I had to eventually realize that I was not ever going to be a professional trumpet player.  I was not going to marry whatever random actor happened to be playing the part of Enjolras.  I did not live any life even half as tragic as Eponine's.  I was just Melissa -- a mega fan.  Life moved on.

I did end up doing my honors thesis paper over Victor Hugo's Les Miserables novel during my senior year of college.  I was a French major, and in order to graduate with honors from Drury I had to spend an entire year researching and writing a significant thesis paper about some subject in my majors area.  I chose to write about the way that Hugo wrote his women characters in Les Mis.  I had to research and read scholarly research as well as the 1200 page novel itself in English and French, form my conclusion, write a thesis paper, and then present it in front of the Drury faculty.  It was probably my favorite and most gratifying thing that I did as an undergraduate.  Herman bound the paper for me to keep forever because it represented such a huge sacrifice for me as a student.  I learned in that paper to love Eponine even more and to dislike Cosette a lot more.  And I still love the musical.

Here is one of my favorite songs in the musical as it was sung for the 25th anniversary performance.  I like adding it here because it shows all of the major characters of the musical as they sing about the things they are expecting during the next day.  Valjean is awesome.  The character singing the part of Inspector Javert is probably the best one I have ever seen -- amazing!  This isn't my favorite Enjolras ever, but he gets the job done well.  The weak link in this piece is definitely Nick Jonas who is completely out of his element in this musical.  He just doesn't have the power of a Broadway singer.  I am sure this is how I would have ended up if I was living another dream of playing the part of Eponine in some cast somewhere -- all of the passion, none of the talent -- but I wouldn't have the advantage of tons of screaming teenagers dying for the chance to see me sing anything.  Anyway, here is the amazing  -- okay, I'll make it awesome -- cast of the 25th anniversary production singing One Day More:

In 2010 Amanda Housel and I headed to Pittsburgh to attend Time Out for Women, and on Friday night we got to listen to a singer I had never heard of before, Dallin Vail Bayles.  Oh my word!  What a voice!  He was amazing.  At the time he was touring with a traveling production of Les Mis, so he sang Bring Him Home for us.  Amanda was crying.  I couldn't stop smiling.  His voice.  Wow.  Just wow.  I don't know what else to say.  As soon as he finished Amanda and I stood up, clapped, and screamed like total fan girls, and then we pushed our way through the crowd to get our chance to get a picture and say hello to this talented singer.  It was a choice experience for this Les Mis fan.

Amanda and I with Dallin Vail Bayles being total fan girls!

This isn't the performance we saw, but it captures his wonderful voice pretty well.  It still doesn't match the experience of seeing it live, but it's good enough.

Two excellent pieces of news for a super fan girl like me:

1. Later this year Les Mis, the musical will be released as a movie with Hugh Jackman as Valjean
2. Les Mis will be appearing in KC at the Music Hall from December 4-9

Yea!  Guess who will be coming to opening day both times?  I'm such a musical nerd.  Hurray!

Well, I didn't end up joining any Les Mis cast, but I did manage to marry a man who has a powerful voice and the ability to inspire people to do almost anything, so I got my happily ever after with my Enjolras.  So life has turned out pretty . . . wait for it . . . AMAZING  for me.  I'm glad my high school dreams didn't exactly come true.  I couldn't ask for a better life!

So anyway, I should be doing any number of things, but I was just feeling some Les Mis love this past week as I watched the 25th anniversary video while I was washing/folding my mountain of clothes, and I wanted to record my thoughts of one of those things in my life that has touched me in some way.

Now I'd better return to real life and back to cleaning.  Drat!

Communication Without Language

Minsy with JoJo, a frequent star in her
conversations with us

I have been really thinking and pondering the past week over how amazing our communication with Minsy has been in the three and half months that we have known her.  It really is remarkable to think about how shocking it would be to the system to be plucked out of the only world you know at the age of four (three?two?) and put down in a completely different civilization with different lifestyles, customs, language, etc.  I mean, we all have two eyes a nose and a mouth, but we would seem so different in the eyes of a young child.  How does your brain even begin to process such a situation?  Do you just shut down until you are mentally able to process things?  Do you just fumble around as usual and hope for the best?  I just can't imagine how it would be.  The thought that came to mind as I was thinking about this situation that Minsy has been thrown into by coming to the US to live with our raucous family was a scene in one of my favorite movies (mini-series) Lost in Austen.  It is a cute, romantic, funny story of a modern day Londonite who loves Pride and Prejudice and finds herself living in the actual world of the book, messing up the story in the process, and finding herself in love with Mr. Darcy.  This scene is when she is sucked back into her modern day world and Mr. Darcy finds himself there as well after following her.  I have to admit that the scene won't be as exciting to you as it still is for me when I watch it if you haven't seen the entire beginning of the story to see the evolution of characters, but here it is:

Love this scene!  Love it!  Love it!  Love it!  "I followed you to this infernal place because I would follow you anywhere."  Be still my fluttering heart!  But I do always wonder what it would be like to be thrust into a world out of your time like that.  I'm amazed that Darcy is able to just stand there and take it all in without having a major meltdown right in the middle of a busy London.  

But at least everyone was still speaking the same language.  Not so for our little Minsy.

I have read countless blogs and yahoo group messages from those who have adopted from China and share with one another the process of language acquisition for their new child.  Some are very concerned about the lack of progress after several months.  Some don't worry much at all, trusting that their child will figure things out eventually.  Once I witnessed an extremely heated battle online over the use of flashcards to help their child learn the language.  I could see both sides of the argument, but please ladies, can we try not to judge one another?  We're all in this situation because we CARE, deeply, about the welfare of our children.  We all have different styles and techniques, but we are trying to do the best we can.  Judging each other harshly for our techniques, as long as we aren't being abusive, doesn't help anyone.  Those snip-fests that occur in online "support" groups can get on my nerves.  But the point is that there is a spectrum of ideas about how concerned we should be about language acquisition after a China adoption.  I decided that with Minsy I would just follow the philosophy that I've had for all of my other children.  I would just be patient and supportive, and when the time was right she would pick things up and do just fine.  

So it has been three and a half months.  In the beginning the only thing that we knew Minsy was telling us was "Boo yao!" (I don't want it!), "nyao, nyao" (I have to go to the bathroom), and "Xie, xie" (thank you).  There may have been a few other Chinese words here and there, but the reality was that she never really made any clear sounds that we could decipher as any sort of language.  Mostly, if she did decide to talk, she would whisper a few things that even our Chinese guides could not understand.  Mostly she responded just as Mr. Darcy did above.  She sat and watched, drinking everything in.  I can always tell when she is overwhelmed by a new situation because she just relaxes wherever she is and watches intently.  

After all this time here a little has changed, but it isn't anything that is groundbreaking to most people.  She still doesn't speak a lot of words, at least not many that we understand.  But she is still communicating with us very effectively.  She has a few words that she does very well, mostly family names.  She can say NO, JOJO, LANEY (mamie), MAMA, DADDY, UH OH, LOOK,  BYE BYE, PUPPY, and BUBBLES really well.  She uses a few signs that Laney has taught her.  But mostly she has this all new language that she uses.  It isn't Chinese, and it isn't English, and I wouldn't even say that it is a cross between the two.  It is more of a mumbling connection of sighs and grunts and melodic breathing put together with very expressive gestures that get her point across.  I kind of feel as if she knows that Chinese isn't the right language to use with us, but she isn't quite comfortable enough with English to belt it out, so she has created a comfort language.  And it works just fine.  It's a little like dealing with baby babble, except because Minsy is older she is able to express her feelings so much more effectively, avoiding some frustration that babies feel when their babble language isn't getting across.  

So many times a day Minsy will run to wherever I am, excited to tell me something.  Then she will proceed to tell me a story, complete with hand motions and facial expressions.  I have no idea what she is saying to me, but I can understand the emotion behind her words, and in the end that is the most important part of the language for her.  I respond to this emotion appropriately, whether it is with words of excitement or encouragement or comfort.  If she needs me to perform some sort of action after her words she will curl her pointer finger, encouraging me to get up and follow her.  Then she points to where I need to be, and I'm able to figure out exactly what the problem may be.  She can effectively let me know when she is hungry and thirsty, when she is bored, and when she is excited.  So many times her stories are just a series of sighs interspersed with "JoJo" or "Mamie" so that I know that she is talking to me about one of her favorite people.  Yesterday, when I was talking to Savannah about this amazing language that Minsy has communicated, Savannah suggested that her talking was a lot like an ewok.  Bingo!  That is exactly what it is like.  We have no idea what she is saying, but we know exactly what she means.  You could list any number of characters from the Star Wars movies -- R2D2, Chewbacca, etc.-- and the approach to language is the same.  In fact I thought of the scene in Return of the Jedi where C3PO was telling the jedi story to the ewoks, and I think that that perfectly illustrates the way that Minsy communicates with us.  This is the best clip I could find on youtube:

It gets the point across perfectly.  Minsy's conversation goes a bit like this:  incomprehensible word, incomprehensible word, JOJO, incomprehensible world, BUBBLES, incomprehensible world, and so on and so forth.  So we find ourselves plugging along.  We are still debating what to do about Minsy's age.  I'm waiting until we see the pediatric endocrinologist in April before I make a final decision, but right now we are leaning toward changing her age to three.  We have a few years to go before we need to worry about her entering school, and during that time we can work with her to develop the language skills she will need to be successful in school and life.  I'm content to give her even up to a year to just leisurely soak up our world and learn the language that she can.  At that point we might, and probably will, put her in some sort of language enhancement program so that she can catch up to where she needs to be.  I am happy to just allow her to shine as she is right now.  She is such a pleasant and happy little girl, so willing to giggle and smile when she is feeling comfortable in her surroundings.  I have to admit, I really kind of love her quasi-language that she has created.  We have found a way to understand each other in a language that is beyond words.  It is a language that speaks to the heart, and I believe that that may be the most important language of all for all of us to learn.  When we connect with one another in that way we can overcome any obstacles that come our way.  We're ready, and we're able to conquer the world together!

Today the Part of Herman Will Be Played By Tom Cruise. Seriously.

What happened when Herman left Quest Education Systems on Friday:

Okay.  Not really.  It was actually a nice, pleasant exit -- no drama, no tears.  But still . . . it's crazy to believe it, but today we walked away from the business we helped to create five years ago, ready to start a new chapter in our lives.  

Five years ago Herman was working as an assistant principal at East Elementary, and we had enjoyed our time working for the Waynesville schools.  Herman had been wanting to get involved in creating his own business, but I was super nervous about leaving the security that is offered through working for the school district.  I liked our retirement.  I liked our health insurance.  I liked our predictable schedule that matched the kids' schedules.  But I really do believe that the Lord really did want for Herman to take the path he chose that year, so circumstances worked out in such a way that I was willing to take any amount of risk to start a company and leave the school employment.  So we cashed in our retirement credits and used the money as we began Quest Education Systems with our friends Mark and Sheryl Eagleburger.  This company used Herman's expertise in education as Herman set out across the country, putting on inspiring and instructional workshops for teachers.  Things got started pretty slowly, and at one point it was even looking like we were going to have to close shop and try something else.  But in the midst of those early difficulties Herman felt as if he received some direct revelation inspiring him to change their business model.  The company became an industry leader in helping schools and teachers navigate the ridiculous minefield that is the standardized testing that has become so important as the government has tried to implement the No Child Left Behind policy.  Herman started out as the original presenter for the company, and he would be gone all week every week putting on these workshops all around the country.  Mark would be in charge of scheduling, and we had one other worker who worked on billing.  We would have our family stage some folding parties as we got all of the flyers ready to send out to the school districts, hoping to fill up our workshops.  Well, it was a grand success.  The company flourished, and soon we added several presenters to put on Herman's workshops.  Herman published a book based on his workshop.  He was able to stay home more as more and more of the work of the office and the presentations was done by others.  It was really nice and rewarding in so many ways.  

Well, things have been changing with the business model that we had developed.  It hasn't been anything bad, but as the last year progressed it became obvious that Herman and Mark had very different ideas about how they wanted the company to proceed.  These weren't angry disagreements or anything like that, but they were the type of differences in opinion that was keeping the company from progressing at all.  Neither Mark nor Herman could take the company exactly where they wanted it to go.  

For a few months we have been wondering how this situation would resolve itself, and it just seemed impossible to fix.  But we have tremendous faith that everything was going to work out exactly how it needed to be.  I have no doubt that Heavenly Father has our back.  He has the power to make things happen to our good if we can just trust Him.  And so we did.  About a month ago Herman decided that he needed to be more active as a presenter.  He has amazing presentation skills, and he wasn't doing himself any favors by hanging out around the house and hoping that things turned up rosy.  But he also decided that he was going to change his model again.  Now, instead of doing public workshops where the teachers would travel to see him present in a hotel or community college or something like that he would instead go right to the teachers.  He decided to set up programs with school districts to consult with their personnel in small group sessions where he could help them develop effective plans to raise test scores in their content areas.  In addition he also gave schools the opportunity to hire him as a consultant to work with struggling teachers or teachers in their first year of teaching.  This consulting worked with Herman's natural talents of interacting with people and inspiring them to reach their full potential.  He started out by calling a few districts in our area, and before the week was out he had his entire schedule packed for the next two months.  Hurray!  Now we knew that there was a market for this new type of consulting.  He did this work through our Spotlight Assemblies company that works under the banner of our Great Educators company.  That gave us a revenue stream with the new consulting.

A few weeks ago when trying to determine the next direction that Quest was going to take Mark approached Herman and asked if he might just buy out Herman's and my ownership shares in the company. This would allow Mark to continue to work with Quest and take the company in the direction he wanted it to go.  Then Herman could use our other company to create a similar company that would be set up more in the way that Herman wanted it to go.  It seemed like the perfect solution to our dilemma.  We sat on the idea for a while, prayed about it, and then made our decision to go ahead and split ties with Quest.  I never had one bit of doubt in my mind about everything.  It just felt right, and I really feel as if the Lord was just setting things up in the past year to make this happen.  Herman also felt right about things, but he did feel a certain amount of sadness in leaving the company that he first founded five years ago.  But Mark drew up the papers for the transfer of ownership, and we headed to sign them, knowing that everything would work out in the end.

So last Friday Herman and I headed over to the Quest office to sign the papers with Mark.  I walked with Herman as he circled the office, visiting the various cubicles and offices inhabited by the various Quest employees.  I just quietly tagged along, because that's what I do.  It was just so surreal to be making our last rounds as owners of the company.  It has grown so much since the beginning, and it was been a great blessing to our family.  I just couldn't believe we were finishing things up today.  I sort of felt the same way when Herman left his job as asst. principal at East.  It might have been a bit harder leaving the school, though, because there were so many people there who Herman had interacted with daily.  And he was super sad to leave the kids.  But anyway, we made the slow round through the office and ended up at Mark's office where he had the papers ready for us to sign.  It seemed like I should have been a bit more apprehensive about the whole thing, but I just felt calm about everything.  It almost felt as if a weight was being lifted from my shoulders.  It just seemed crazy that we could sign away five years of our lives with a couple of minutes of signing papers.  And yet we did it.

So now we head off to make the best of our new adventure, devoting our time and energy to building Herman's education consulting through Spotlight Assemblies and Great Educators.  It is kind of exciting to start things over from scratch.  We'll either make it or we'll fall flat on our faces, but we'll be doing it together.  I believe that we'll be able to make enough to provide for our family.  Herman is definitely a man full of enthusiasm and hope, and I have faith that he'll make it work.  So far the schools who have had him come to work with them have really loved the work he has done.  There are so many school districts in just Missouri alone, so I think he could keep busy in this state without having to do any crazy traveling.  That will be a huge blessing.  

On Monday we begin our new adventure running things solo for most of our companies.  Herman is headed out to another school district to consult with some teachers.  It seems like I should be a bit nervous about starting things over, but I'm not.  Heavenly Father has taken care of us in the past, and I know He'll take care of us into the future.  I kind of feel like Indiana Jones in The Last Crusade movie when he was standing at the precipice and had to show faith by stepping into the void, hoping that there would be something there to catch him.  I never quite understood why he didn't just throw some pebbles out into the void to see if there was something there.  I would have totally checked things out first.  But sometimes you just know, I guess.  And in this case I just know.  I know this is what we are supposed to do.  I don't quite know why yet, but it'll become apparent soon enough.  For now we'll just go along for the ride and do the best we can.  

On Friday night Herman and I decided that we needed to head to El Sombrero's Mexican restaurant to celebrate this new chapter in our life.  We began Quest as a company at El Sombrero's five years ago.  Now we went back there to celebrate our good memories of Quest and to celebrate our new beginning once again.  I never thought when I was younger that I would ever be the type of girl who could patiently sit back and celebrate forming new companies every few years or so.  I was (and still am in some respects) a girl who valued consistency and security in jobs.  But here we are, beginning again.  Here's to the future!  

Who's coming with me?

At El Sombrero

Happy 13th Birthday Spencer!

This is a normal picture face for Spencer.

Today I officially have three teenagers in the house.  I always thought that would be a very difficult time for me, but I have (so far) been lucky to have very good teens.  Today Spencer entered his teen years, and he's been waiting for this day forever.  We have these house rules that make reaching the big 1-3 significant for the kids.  We don't let the kids watch PG-13 movies until they are 13 (and even afterwards we don't really let them watch every PG-13 movie).  I also made Spencer wait until he was 13 to get a facebook account.  I know a lot of kids who are Spencer's age have had facebook accounts for years, but I made him follow the facebook policy.  I think in the long run it will be better for Spencer to have waited because at this age he is well able to understand internet privacy issues and what should and should not be shared online.

So anyway, Spencer has been very excited for this day to arrive.  He decided that he was going to celebrate the big day by staying up all night to watch all of the PG-13 movies he has been dying to see, like the Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Dark Knight,  Spiderman 1&2, and the Harry Potter movies he has missed.  We let him stay home from school today.  He has excellent grades and is doing well in school.  We are probably oddball parents in this regard, but we always feel like it is a good idea to take a mental holiday every once in a while from school as long as it doesn't interfere with their overall progress.  So far this has only been a good experience for our kids.  They still love school.  They just don't get burnout like some kids do, especially as they get older.  So Spencer decided to take his birthday off.  He only managed to stay awake for half of the first Lord of the Rings movie, so he has some movie watching to catch up on this morning.  I'll probably take him out to lunch as well.  

So, in honor of Spencer's 13th birthday, here are thirteen things that I love about Spencer:

1. His enthusiasm.  He is his daddy's boy with a passion for living.  It can be a bit trying at times to deal with so much enthusiasm in him, but ultimately it will be a good thing for him, I know.
2. His mad military planning skills.  He is quite a little genius when it comes to military strategy in the games he sometimes plays on the computer.  I do bore of hearing about every single maneuver he chooses and how the opposing forces have countered his attacks, but someday I'll be glad to have him on my team if the world falls apart.
3. The super cute dimples he gets when he smiles after finding out that some girl likes him or thinks he's cute.  I'm sure that that reaction won't be the norm forever, but while he is young I find it absolutely adorable.
4. His excitement for playing his trombone.  I never thought that Spencer would be that into band.  I thought that he would lose interest in music once he entered junior high, but instead he has gotten really excited about playing, especially jazz.  I love it!  Check out the end of the post for a video of his first jazz concert with his very first improv solo.  This is very scary for 7th graders (or really anyone who is first learning jazz improv) because it is all made up.  But I think he did great.  He'll get more confident and louder the older he gets.
5. His skills with babies.  You wouldn't guess that someone as naturally spastic as Spencer would end up being a good baby guy, but he is.
6. His love of the Beatles.  Okay.  I admit.  I do suffer from Beatles overload whenever Spencer is in control of the iTunes playlist, but I do appreciate his passion.  His off key renditions of obscure Beatles songs will be hard to forget.
7. His great love for his daddy.  Herman is his hero.
8. His amazing soccer abilities.  I cannot wait until he gets the opportunity to play for the high school team in two years.  He has the mind of a soccer player.  He can look down field and plan a strategy to get to the goal without blinking an eye.  Unfortunately, for the most part he has not been able to play with a team of equally talented players yet.  He will be able to play with a few good players here and there, but it will be nice to see him play with others who are as good or even better than him.  
9. His excellent cooking/baking skills.  He is going to make some lady very happy in the future.  It isn't that often that you find a guy who has excellent kitchen skills, but Spencer seems to have them.  I think he has inherited the Landis men gene when it comes to cooking.  Yea!
10. His tendency to 'think big.'  Once again, this can get a bit annoying sometimes, but it is a skill that every group needs to have to a certain extent.  He is not content with the status quo.  He needs something extraordinary.  That is another trait he shares with his daddy.
11. His taste in clothes.  This is something that no one else probably notices because I don't always give him free rein to choose all his own clothing, but when I do give him a budget and send him on his way to find outfits he always returns with really classy and good looking clothes.  He takes his clothes shopping more seriously than some of my girls.
12. How he is absolutely convinced that he has already reached the beginning of manhood.  Every day he comes in to try to convince me that he is growing a 'stache on his upper lip.  Every day I tell him that I don't really see anything.  But he remains unmoved.  I must just be blind, I guess.  Only the pure in heart are worthy to see such fine hair, I'm sure.  He takes great pride in his growing height and musculature.  He is so excited to grow up.  I wish he would wait just a few years.
13. His ability to explain all things with a simple explanation -- "I'm awesome!"  He always does this with a tongue in his right cheek and a sparkle in his eye.  I can't wait to see what sort of lady he ends up with when he grows up, but I sure hope she is getting well prepared today.  She's going to have to have some sort of strength of character to handle all this awesomeness.

So happy birthday, Spencer!  We love you!

Here's a good look at the 'stache!

Enjoy the Waynesville Middle School 7th Grade Jazz Ensemble!                                                  

Who is That Lady Hiding Her Face in Aisle Four?

Who is that little girl immersed in the latest news from Tiger Beat magazine?  Oh yeah, that's my little Minsy lounging in my closet checking out love secrets from the Bieb and Taylor Lautner.  After all, the very cover of the magazine tells her that every girl HAS to know this info!  

When I was a young teenager I think I spent a small fortune buying the latest teen magazines.  I absolutely had to get the giant Tom Cruise or Matt Damon posters.  I think I licked countless numbers of stamps hoping that my letter to the celebrity of the month would be the one that he would choose to write back to.  I was a total fan girl.  

But now I am older and oh so wiser, and I will not allow my kids to spend their money on those magazines.  There isn't anything totally bad about them, but they are just so ridiculous, and the information in them is not the type of info that I want my kids looking to when they think of their ideals.  I don't think that these celebrities should be the role models for my kids.  The celebrities aren't all bad, but still, the whole world of celebrity is so warped.  I know there are a million better things for them to read, so I encourage them to find someone else to look up to.

So, why did I find myself in the checkout line at Wal-mart yesterday morning with two of the latest teen magazines in my cart?  Well, it's Savannah's fault.  Yes, Savannah -- my Shakespeare loving (along with Laney), classic lit reading, piano playing freshman.  But this week in seminary for the first couple of days we have been reviewing some of the stories in 2 Kings that we missed when covering the book in the last week, and we decided to have the seminary students pick one of the stories and act it out.  Then they needed to act out the modern day application of that story.  Savannah's group decided to act out the story in 2 Kings 18 about Hezekiah destroying the false idols.  They decided to use teen idol posters in their modern day application, so Savannah asked if I could pick up the magazines.  I agreed. 

I thought that it wouldn't be that big of a deal.  I mean they aren't really nasty magazines or anything like that -- just a little goofy.  But when I got to the magazine racks in Walmart there were two older ladies looking through the craft magazines there.  Where were the craft magazines?  Right above the teeny bop mags.  Oh no!  The ladies weren't going anywhere soon, so I couldn't wait them out.  No.  I had to say "excuse me" and reach underneath them to grab the two magazines.  I felt like I needed to stop and explain why I was so interested in these magazines.  I didn't.  I mean, these ladies didn't really care.  I was the one who was being neurotic about everything.  I had to deal with my anxiety at the checkout line as well.  I would have been really happy to have been dressed like this:

But it all turned out okay.  I got through the store and realized that no one really cared what magazines I was buying.  But I did say to myself:

But when I got home I found that Minsy LOVED these magazines.  I mean she REALLY loved these magazines.  She loved looking at all of the bright pictures.  She really loves looking at pictures all the time, and if there is one thing that these magazines have, it is lots and lots of pictures.  She carried the magazines everywhere with her yesterday and was very unhappy if anyone tried to take them from her.  It made for some super cute pictures at least.  We had to sneak them out of the house early this morning so that Savannah could use them in class and not upset Minsy in the process.  I've just got to make sure that I utilize my publishing points at heritagemakers.com and create a lot more family books that Minsy can look at and love.  But hey, there were some excellent bonuses to my teen magazine shopping.  I was able to find out who was spilling Selena Gomez's confidential love secrets (you'll NEVER guess), four confessions from Taylor Lautner (who'd'a thunk it?), and get a whole slew of handwritten valentine notes from "hot boys"(my valentine shopping is now complete).  I think I'm in heaven. 

Hurray!

Finally!  My new camera has arrived!  It has been three LONG months since the sorry demise of our last digital camera.  Our last camera met it's sorry end during a crazily heavy rain storm in Hong Kong while we were trying to enjoy a laser light show on the pier.  It had been a good camera, but after a serious fall through some super wet and slippery fingers it only took lovely modern art looking pictures with lots of colors swirled around to bring us joy.  Unfortunately it didn't show any faces or scenery, and it could not be rescued.  We were going to have to get a new one.

I do a lot of research before I buy digital cameras.  We take such a wide variety of pictures that we need a camera that will do well for most situations.  I'm not quite ready to buy a fancy digital SLR camera, and to be honest, I don't think that I would really want to lug a huge camera with me everywhere.  But I want a camera that has a long zoom so that we can get good pictures of our kids in their activities, even if we are sitting in the back of a dark auditorium or in the nose bleed section of the football stadium.  I need something with lots of options, but also something that is easy to figure out as well.  After lots and lots of perusing Consumer Reports and amazon.com, I finally made my choice.  I decided that the best camera for our needs would be:

 The Sony Cyber-shot DSC-HX9V!

We decided to get one right before Christmas as a Christmas gift, but I was hedging my bets and waiting for some sort of awesome sale.  After waiting for a bit I just decided to run by Best Buy when we were doing some shopping in Springfield and pick one up.  I got to the store and got to play around with the display model, and I loved it even more than I thought that I would.  But when I went to get the box, there were none on the shelf.  After talking to a salesperson there I found out that there were none of these cameras available at any Best Buy in the four state area.  It also wasn't available to purchase online to ship.  That's okay.  I would just go home and buy it from amazon.  But I got home, and it wasn't available through amazon either.  

I waited.  And waited.  And waited.  And waited.  No place in the country sold this model.  They were all unavailable for purchase.  I looked at other cameras, but none of them seemed as good as this one for us.  I decided that I would just wait as long as it took.  I just didn't think that it would take this long.  In the meantime we had to make do with our iPhone cameras.  Herman has a newer model that took okay pictures, but mine is an older model, and the pictures were all grainy.  It hurt my heart to have grainy photos of our Christmas and of Laney's and JoJo's birthdays.  But it just was what it was.  It just meant that I was going to be extra happy when the new camera came available.  Finally, last week it showed up available for shipping from Best Buy.  Hurray!  I grabbed the chance to get it before it disappeared again, and after a week of waiting I about mauled the UPS driver when he arrived at our door last evening with the package.

I played around a bit with the camera, and I am so happy to finally be able to document the fun moments of our family through pictures.  One of the cool features of this camera:  It has a smile meter that will monitor the subjects of photos and not take the picture until a smile is detected.  This is especially important when we take pics of Minsy because she does not want to smile in pictures.  I think it is a cultural habit.  She will pose for the pictures with her hands in a peace sign, but she won't smile, no matter what we say or do.  If we do catch her smiling it is always because we catch her by surprise.  Hopefully we will now be able to catch her gorgeous little smile from now on.  

Here's a sweet little picture of Minsy and JoJo!

Also, JoJo lost his first tooth on Sunday evening.  He pulled it out himself and was so proud.  He made sure I got a picture of it when the camera arrived.  He's got some crazy hair going there, but he is so proud of his new smile!  Mommy, on the other hand, was super sad that he lost the tooth.  I just don't want him to grow up at all.  I'm not ready for him to get grown up teeth.  That will only mean that the years that I can hold on to him alone as my baby will be slipping past too quickly.  Boo for my babies getting older so fast.  Yea that at least I can capture the moments with my new camera!
 

 

In the Top Five of My Worst Nightmares

I don't even know how to begin this post.  I guess I should start by being grateful that I am still alive and sane -- for the moment.  I just had one of those experiences that will go down in Melissa Blau lore as one of the worst of my existence.  Well, maybe it won't end up being quite that bad.  I'm still in the moment, so things seem a bit more raw than they will feel in the morning, I'm sure.

Here's what happened:

Yesterday Laurie Howell called Herman to see if he could pinch hit and teach institute this evening.  For those who don't know, institute classes are religious classes that are taught for college aged students.  It's like seminary, but it is taught more like a college class that students attend about once a week.  Herman agreed to teach, and all was well.  This afternoon he asked if I would come to the class with him and give some added comments and enthusiasm if it was needed.  It would kind of be like a date, so I agreed.  I was sitting in my room, waiting for Herman to come up from his home office to get going this evening, when Herman called me on his cell phone.  He told me that he was in the middle of a very important business meeting and would not be able to get to class right away.  He asked me to drive up to the church and begin the class for him.  I asked him what the subject was, and he told me to just find a great lesson to teach from Isaiah.

Isaiah?

Isaiah??!!!!!


Are you kidding me?  I was supposed to just grab my scriptures and come up with a college level lesson about Isaiah?  There are people who study the scriptures constantly and still can't come up with any understanding of Isaiah.  All that I could think of as I frantically tried to figure out how I was going to handle things was of some of the men who I remember from when I first joined the Church.  They would sometimes try to assert their spiritual awesomeness by saying that the Isaiah chapters that are quoted in the Book of Mormon are the easiest chapters in the whole book to understand.  I remember thinking that I never, ever wanted to marry anyone like that.  They were so pretentious.  That's all I could think about as I was driving toward the church building.  What did I know about Isaiah?  Well, I knew that he prophesies of Jesus Christ very clearly, and sometimes not so clearly.  I know that the language of Isaiah can be very complicated in some ways.  I know that I know NOTHING about Isaiah.

I brought Laney along with me for support, and that didn't quite work out like I hoped because she kept referring to mistakes that I made during the week while I was teaching seminary.  She wasn't trying to be critical at all.  They just weren't the words that I wanted to hear as I was on my way to face a terrifying gospel teaching situation.

The institute program in this area is kind of struggling a bit with attendance and enthusiasm, so I didn't quite know who would show up.  The first two young women who showed up are two very sweet young adults who were so supportive and friendly to me as I got ready to push through this lesson.  While we waited to see who was going to show up I looked through my seminary manual to see if I got any bright ideas about what to teach.  I found out that the Isaiah lessons in the seminary manual are not the most happening lessons in the book.  Nothing looked straight forward or simple.  It all seemed very complicated.  I found one, though, that would be easy enough to delve into while we waited for Herman to show up.  It was simply a list of several references in the book that pointed to some part of the Savior's life and ministry.  We were supposed to look at these references and figure out what part of the life was being foretold.  Boring?  Pretty much.  But I wasn't going to pull anything out of my hat about Isaiah that would be terribly deep or entertaining with only fifteen minutes to prepare.  All I needed to do was get things rolling until Herman showed up.

By the time class began one more girl joined the class, and this girl was definitely a "glass half empty" sort of girl.  A bit of a Debbie Downer.  She complained about her day and frowned through the entire lesson.  Not what I needed when I was already feeling completely awkward about things.  The three of us plodded through things as best we could.  I can easily say that it was the very worst teaching lesson I have ever done in my entire life.  I am usually pretty good at throwing lessons together on the spot for most things.  Obviously, I do a lot better when I take the time to prepare things.  But I just did not have the knowledge or skills to pull together an Isaiah lesson at the drop of a hat.  I had to excuse myself for a second in the middle of the lesson so that I could hide in the bathroom and call Herman to see where he was and tell him that he owed me BIG TIME.

After a half hour of excruciating lesson time Herman finally arrived.  He sat at the table and comfortably took things over.  He decided to talk about times when Heavenly Father has influenced our lives.  He didn't continue our study of Isaiah but instead focused on this topic as he spoke with the three girls and one young man who showed up later.  The reason that he was late to class was that he had had a miraculous experience in the business meeting that he was attending, and he needed to make sure that he didn't ruin the moment by leaving the meeting too early.  I'll tell more about what happened in another post.  But it was a great discussion that really got the young adults there to participate in a good dialogue about the experiences of their lives.  It didn't end up being a true institute type class, but it was a valuable lesson, nonetheless.

I was sitting in the class, thinking that things had turned out okay -- definitely not wonderfully, but we all survived it with our testimonies still intact, I think.  But for some reason in the middle of Herman's discussion he was talking about how he felt the Spirit during the dialogue, and Debbie Downer started talking about how people should understand that the lessons in the manuals are only meant to be guides.  She pointed to the list of scriptures that I had listed up on the board and said that that was not how a lesson was supposed to be taught.  I just sat there without saying anything.  Herman just moved the discussion on to something else because her comment really wasn't what we were talking about, but still I was upset.  I held it together for the remainder of the time.  We ended the class and Herman started making noise about going out to eat with all the students there, but I think Heavenly Father was looking out for me because Herman very quickly sent them on their way to eat together, and he said that he would just go somewhere separately with me.

Herman was super excited to talk to me about the neat things that he discussed during his business meeting, but I was still very upset about having to teach this class and doing such a poor job at it.  I'm a good teacher -- or I can be, and I hate it when I fail so miserably, and I really, REALLY, hate it when someone who has no business criticizing me feels like they have the right to do that publicly.  So as we were driving away toward a place to eat Herman was talking away about his business meeting, and the tears were flowing down my cheeks.  I was trying to keep it together, but I just couldn't do it.  The thing that was so frustrating to me was that I don't need some 20 year old girl talking to me about how to be a better teacher.  I have woken up every day for the past three weeks teaching these sorts of lessons.  I am not perfect, but I am not a "read the manual" sort of teacher.  I know how to teach.  I felt like I had been judged unfairly, and my pride was wounded, I guess.  It just upset me so much because it wasn't my choice to show up tonight unprepared.  It just was what it was.

Well, I got the tears out, and I'm all better.  I don't really need any sympathy or reassurance.  I just needed to get the tears out and move on.  I feel all better, except for a giant headache that has come on because of my excess emotions.  So now I feel as if I have gone through a sort of refiner's fire tonight.  I have faced a nightmare and come out on the other end without any lasting harm.  The one thing that was really good about trying to teach tonight was that it gave me a better idea of some of the challenges that I will face as I try to teach Isaiah to the seminary students next month.  Maybe that was the reason for this.  I know that I'll need to have a better teaching idea before I begin these lessons for the high school kids.  They won't know the craziness I endured in order to give them a better lesson.  I probably won't tell them either.  I will be so super grateful on Monday, though, to see their supportive and happy faces as I greet them at 6 am.

I did think after the lesson about my AMAZING and absolutely wonderful in every way institute teacher when I was in college, Michiel Anderson.  Oh, how I love Brother A!  He had an amazing ability to teach gospel principles in such a simple yet touching way.  I always felt as if I left his classes better than when I entered them.  I would head to my institute classes in the middle of my college day and feel like I was just given a giant spiritual hug, and that gave me the strength to get through anything that came my way that day.  I wish I could have given a Bro. A kind of lesson tonight.  Someday I hope to get to that level of teaching.  I'm just glad that I had such an amazing institute teacher while I was in college, and I'm glad that in the midst of a potentially horrible evening I was able to remember him and his teaching, making the evening not so bad at all.  I just hope that I never, ever, ever, ever have to do a spur-of-the-moment lesson on Isaiah again in my entire life.  Once is enough.

But the good news -- after my difficult teaching assignment, Herman bought be chocolate!  It was almost worth the anxiety for a good batch of chocolate heaven, I think.

A Little Blogging Therapy for the Day

I hate confrontation.  I mean, I REALLY, REALLY HATE confrontation!  I think I am slowly dying inside because I just hold my anger inside sometimes rather than have to confront someone when I feel wronged.  It just slowly festers and festers away until one day I'm sure that I'm going to eventually just wither away or explode with unresolved issues.  Luckily I usually just find a way to work through things in my head so that I can move on.  No confrontation, but no lasting issues either, so I guess it all works out in the end.  It helps to be married to a man who doesn't get bent out of shape about ANYTHING.  It is remarkable to me.  Sometimes I feel like people have treated Herman horribly, and yet he is able to meet them regularly with a smile on his face and a kind word to greet them.  It is amazing to watch.  I wish I could do that.  I really do.  But I am basically a coward at heart, so my plan is usually to sit by myself and craft a totally EXCELLENT response that I would love to give to someone when I feel wronged (if I had enough courage to actually do it, of course -- which I don't).  If I am really, really feeling overwhelmed with feeling I might make the mistake of crafting a well worded email and shooting it off.  But Herman always has given this advice:  Bad news in person, good news by email.  He is right when he explains that the written word is always subject to a person's interpretation, and we just run too much risk of being completely misunderstood in an email.  Spoken communication gives us the opportunity to hash through things -- but it also requires a good amount of courage, which I sadly lack.

So anyway, that brings us to this morning.  I have been loving my new calling as an early morning seminary teacher.  It is more rewarding than I could have ever imagined.  I absolutely love my students.  I felt very intimidated at first.  After all, high school kids can quickly turn against me if I don't approach them in the right way.  It seems that we are really gelling as a class, and I have really enjoyed teaching.  I still have a ton to learn, and I don't hit it out of the ballpark every day, but I'm improving little by little.  Well, today we had a great lesson.  I felt like it ended really well, giving all of us a great start to the end of the week and the beginning of the weekend.  However, there has been a bit of an issue with the bus that picks the students up after class each morning to take them to the high school.  The bus had been coming into the church parking lot and turning around before picking up the students and heading to the school.  On Wednesday one of my students came in to tell me that the bus driver wanted to start picking the kids up on the back side of the church because there were too many cars in the way.  That is a problem for us because it causes us to have students in two different spots of the church, making it impossible for me to supervise everyone to make sure everyone gets on the bus okay or gets out of the parking lot okay.  Herman was teaching the younger class of students on Wednesday, so he just walked up to the bus when it came by and asked the driver if she could still use the parking lot as long as we parked our cars along the periphery of the parking lot so that we weren't in her way.  She seemed to agree, so all was well again.

Until today.  At the beginning of class I was told that the bus driver once again would not use the parking lot because of the cars.  I went outside to look, and there were no cars in the way.  The students complained tht the bus driver was really mean and hateful to them each day.  All of the students agreed, so it didn't appear to be something that was just a personality issue with some of the students.  I had to cut off that discussion pretty quickly so that the hour didn't turn into a gripe-about-the-bus-driver fest.  I just decided that I would go out when the bus arrived and ask the driver if she would just pick up the students on the street outside the front of our church.  It would be no different than her picking them up from the street at the back side, but it would give me the opportunity to supervise things better.

So I had class.  Things went really well, I think.  I was feeling pretty good about the day.  When the bus arrived I walked out with the students to talk to the bus driver.

I left the building feeling like this!

As I stood in the back of the line waiting to speak to the driver I could see her watching me, and I could tell that she was gearing herself up for something.  The line slowly approached the open door, and I stepped up on the bottom step of the bus to make my suggestion to the driver.  Before I could even get my "Hi!" out of my mouth she pointed at me and said, "Ma'am, get out of my bus!" 

"What?" I asked, totally surprised at her less than friendly greeting.  

"Federal law.  You may not enter this bus.  Get off this bus."  

"Oh, really?" I replied.  Now I was totally thrown off balance.  I wasn't expecting a rude greeting.  I thought that we could approach this issue like adults with a friendly suggestion that she would either agree with or not agree with, but apparently she had her battle hat on today.  I stepped down a step, but the stubborn rebel that quietly exists inside of me led me to keep on foot in the bus, just to tick her off, I'm sure.  I explained to her that we really needed her to pick the kids up from the front of the building.  I started to explain my compromise solution of using the street instead of the parking lot when she freaked out about having to drive in the parking lot with teenage drivers driving their cars.  I'm not exactly sure where her concern is because our drivers are leaving at least five minutes before she arrives almost all the time.  Once in a while she arrives early when we dismiss late where she might encounter this problem, but I would say in the three weeks that I have been teaching this probably has only happened once.  And she was pretty ticked off for it being a once a month sort of issue.  

Well, now her snarky rudeness had completely erased any good thoughts that had been in my head.  I could feel the steam leaving my ears.  And me, little me, who DOES NOT confront people, could feel myself getting ready to unload on this lady.  But I stopped myself.  I had just watched an entire group of my students enter that bus.  They were all watching what was going down here, and I just couldn't let them have the last picture of me that they saw at the end of their week of seminary be me freaking out at their bus driver.  I just took a really, really deep breath and then pointed my finger in this lady's face.  I told her, "This is unacceptable."  I told her that I was going to call Tom, the transportation supervisor for the district.  She smirked at me and said, "You just go ahead and do that lady."  Sweet Madam Bus Driver thought that she had some sort of upper hand in this situation.  She didn't know about the Ace I was holding in my back pocket.

I walked away -- well, more like high stepped away because I was FURIOUS.  

I walked back into the building looking like this!

I immediately played my ace, and called Herman.  I NEVER, ever do this, but I asked Herman to play his school board member card.  I never do this when dealing with the school because I don't want to ever give any sort of impression that we are abusing power, whatever sort of power a school board member might have, if any.  But, to be honest, we have never had any real issues at all with the district that would even tempt me to pull that card.  But today I felt like a line had been crossed.  From the time that he was a high school Spanish teacher, to the time he was an assistant elementary principal, to now as he serves on the school board, Herman has always felt very strongly that all school employees are public servants, and so they should always do their best to treat the public kindly, even when it is difficult and we are dealing with disagreements.  It is one of his big issues that he works with as he deals with teachers and administrators in his workshops.  He feels strongly about this, so he listened patiently as I ranted about what had just occurred.  Right as I was framing my "strongly worded email" Herman told me that he would just call the transportation department and get Tom on the line.  Of course, I forgot, Herman likes to actually deal with problems directly.  Drat!  I was going to have to resolve this issue like a grownup.  Erg!  

Well, Tom hadn't arrived yet, and neither was his second-in-command, but we did talk with the head dispatcher lady.  She was VERY nice.  She had driven that route before, so she knew exactly what we were talking about, and she understood exactly what our problem was and agreed with our compromise solution. Herman, like always, was calm and complimentary as he talked about the problem and how much he appreciated the hard work of the bus drivers.  I was able to explain my feelings and feel like something was going to get resolved that would be of a good benefit to my students.  It was a good call.  I hope this ends the bus pickup debacle that has been an issue for too long this year for our seminary students.

I just hate that I had to begin my morning this way.  It was getting ready to be a really good start to my morning, and one lady who woke up on the wrong side of the bed ruined it for me.  I guess I should take ownership of my feelings and say that I'm allowing her to ruin the beginning of my day by getting all worked up about her rudeness.  But still.  I just don't really enjoy the whole confrontation thing -- especially when it is over something that is so ridiculous.  So, anyway, I don't really like using blogs to rant about things, but this little post did help me to get rid of some of the irky thoughts running through my head.  Maybe I just bought myself a few extra months later in life by not holding all of this inside.  

How fitting that this week in seminary I was using my non-existent artistic skills to draw stick figure drawings to explain some Old Testament history, and with the help of my class I was finally able to figure out how to draw an angry face.

Now I'm off for a lunch date with my sweetie, getting ready to turn my angry eyes into happy ones.  Awwwww!