A Strongly Worded Letter Can Do Wonders Sometimes

Are there any tooth fairy believers out there who are readers of this blog?  Anyone?  Anyone?  If you are, then I highly encourage you to stop reading right now or there is a strong possibility that your world view will be changed forever.  All that you have believed to this point in your life might crumble to dust if you continue to read, so you should stop right now.  Last warning . . . . Okay, here goes:

I am a terrible tooth fairy.  Absolutely terrible.  First of all I am a total wimp when it comes to pulling my kids teeth.  I can't do it.  Laney is the master tooth puller in our family.  I can't even remember how she ended up losing her teeth.  She must have pulled all of them herself.  After that, she is the one who has pulled the majority of teeth for her younger siblings.  I can't do it.  I just have one job.  One lousy job -- and I am a miserable failure at it.  I am the Tooth Fairy.  I am supposed to sneak into my unsuspecting child's bedroom at night after a momentous occasion of the loss of a tooth, grab the tooth, and leave behind some cold, hard cash in its place.  That's all.  Nothing too difficult about that, right?  But I constantly forget to do it.  All day long my kids will remind me over and over and over again about their lost tooth and their high expectations for the upcoming night.  Then as they head to bed they are almost giddy with anticipation for the visit of the tooth fairy.  I hear all of this.  I make plans.  And then I find myself heading to bed a few hours later, apparently having suffered from temporary memory loss, forgetting all the run-up to this important night.  So I go to sleep, only to wake up the next morning to the disappointed looks of a child whose dream has been shattered by an irresponsible tooth fairy.  Well, I have gotten pretty good at coming up with good excuses for why the tooth fairy didn't show up.  You know . . . it's storming outside, and she is unable to fly in rough weather.  She actually did leave the dollar, but she thought that you were in the other room that night.  There was an unusual number of teeth lost one night, delaying her arrival at our house.  Stuff like that.  But I'm running out of things to say, and that leads us to the events of this week.

Two days ago Hyrum was super excited to lose another tooth.  He's almost to the end of his tooth loss days, so every loss is considered a bonus in his mind.  After showing me the goods, he promptly took it to his room to prepare it for the expected tooth fairy visit.  And, as I am wont to do, I forgot to visit.  The next morning Hyrum came into my room, devastated.  I told him that the tooth fairy probably didn't see the tooth, so I told him to make sure it was still under his pillow, and I was sure she would show up the next night.  The next night came and went, and this morning I woke up to a very sad Hyrum who said, "Mom, I'm just really bummed because the tooth fairy forgot me again."  Awww!  I felt soooo bad.  This time I told him that he should consider leaving her a strongly worded note so that she could know that it was important for her to remember him.  I told him that I would help him later, but he told me that he had it all under control.  Now it was just important that I remember to follow through and take care of tooth fairy business tonight.

I almost forgot . . . again!  But luckily I remembered late at night and sneaked into his room to take care of my duty there.  That is when I found this note hiding under his pillow:

I love it when he says, "Why are you avoiding me?"  Awesome!  That is one finely worded letter.  Well done Hyrum!  You sure made your opinion known today.  Too cute!  Needless to say, the tooth fairly did give into guilt and remorse, and she totally left him $10 for his trouble.  Now I'm sure all of the kids will be hoping that the tooth fairy forgets to visit them, and I'm sure they will think that it might make sense to demand a bit more than $10 since it came so easily to Hyrum.

Being the tooth fairy is hard work for an easily distracted mom like me.  I have no problem admitting that I am a failure in that department, but tonight I have to say that it makes me happy to be such a loser of a tooth fairy because it let me see just how awesome my sweet Hyrum is.  I love that boy!  Fingers crossed that I can do a better job with JoJo and Minsy.  They are my last chances to redeem myself in the fairy delivery service department.  Now I'm off to craft a properly remorseful letter of apology from the tooth fairy to Hyrum.  Knowing him, when he receives it he will want to reply, letting her know that he thinks she is a very nice tooth fairy and not to worry about being forgetful once in a while.  

Sometimes being a parent is amazingly fun!

My Little Teaching Epiphany

A Portion of My Hard Working Class

When I started teaching seminary in January one of my big fears was that I would take it personally whenever a student slept in class or spent their time texting non-stop or simply chatted away with their friends all hour instead of listening to the lesson I had prepared.  I worried that I would have one of those moments when I would freak out because I had prepared three hours the day before only to be completely ignored once I began teaching.  You know, one of those "Don't-you-guys-realize-how-much-work-I've-done-here?" kind of moments.  I know that I have had those moments before in my life, and it seemed logical that seminary would be the perfect place for that ugly side of my personality to rear its nasty head because I would be devoting so much time to preparation each day.

Well, I have now been teaching for two and a half months, and I've noticed a weird difference in me.  Maybe it's because I've grown up a bit.  Maybe it's because Heavenly Father has given me an extra dose of insight.  Maybe it's because I've learned to love my class, whether they spend their time sleeping or awake.  I don't know.  But I realized last week that whenever I have felt frustration with behavior that wasn't the most alert as I would wish in my class I have not taken it personally at all.  I don't sit around and fume because I feel like I'm not getting the proper amount of respect.  In fact, that thought never even crosses my mind.  Instead, I found that my frustration was more because I was worried that my seminary students were not receiving the message that they needed to receive that day.  It had nothing to do with me and everything to do with them and what they needed most.  As I have prepared each lesson I have felt that there were messages in each lesson that were essential for my class in one way or another.  I kind of felt like I was the person manning the well during a drought, and my job was to make sure that everyone got enough water to keep them hydrated until the next day . . . but the people coming to the well were only taking a capful of water no matter how I poured it out.  Why?  What was I doing wrong?  Every day I would come home and beat myself up over and over and over again, wondering if I should have chosen a different activity or asked my questions differently.  Maybe I failed someone because I didn't take the time to call on them in class, making them feel a part of the lesson.  Or maybe I ruined someone's day by actually calling on them without preparing them, so they felt humiliated.  Maybe I was a complete bore as a teacher, or maybe I was just too weird to relate to.  Maybe I talked too much.  Maybe I didn't talk enough.  Good night!  It could have been anything.  I just knew that I felt as if I wasn't hitting anything out of the ballpark.  I have had these days where I had these amazing experiences while preparing a lesson, only to have it completely fall flat the next morning.  I think I could handle this if there were equal days where I wasn't sure how a lesson would go over, only to find that the students were completely wrapped up in the messages found in the scriptures that day.  But so far I haven't had any experience like that  -- but I'm still a newbie when it comes to teaching like this, so I haven't given up hope or anything like that.

This has been sooooo frustrating for me.  As the stake girls camp director I felt as if I had a year to prepare hard, and then during the week of girls camp I would see powerful witnesses of the results of that work.  As the program  worked out I could definitely see the hand of the Lord in the work I was doing.  And these were powerful experiences I was having, with no doubt that the Spirit was present and working on the hearts of many of the girls in attendance.  I have not had that sort of powerful experience with seminary yet, and part of me is always wondering if it is because I am getting something terribly wrong.  Luckily, as I've mentioned in previous blog posts on the subject of seminary, I am married to Mr. Seminary Enthusiast.  Herman LOVES seminary.  He loves to talk about seminary.  He loves to talk about how to teach seminary.  And he constantly reminds me over and over and over . . . Seminary is a marathon, not a sprint.  It isn't in the razzle dazzle giant moments of awesomeness that students gain the most from seminary.  It is the daily grind of getting up every morning and immersing themselves in the scriptures that leads to those moments that change lives.  Sometimes I will be able to be a witness to that happening, and sometimes I won't, but ultimately if I keep plugging along, trying to improve each day, lives will change for the better.  In my head I totally get that.  I'm still working on relaying the message to my heart.

Today when I came home from seminary and repeated my same concerns over again Herman decided that it would be totally awesome if we would sit down each morning and do a lesson from the CES Teacher Improvement Packet.  To be honest, today I just wanted to sit around with a nice cup of hot chocolate, a huge slice of chocolate cake, maybe a brownie or two, and a handful of dark chocolate kisses while I whined a bit about how I felt like I wasn't doing a very good job teaching.  So I grumbled and mumbled, and as Herman is likely to do when I get in a funk like that, he just opened up the book and started teaching away, knowing I'd jump on board soon enough.  And I did. 

Interestingly enough, Herman chose to start the lesson about the role of the student in gospel learning.  I thought this was not exactly my issue because my issue was that I wasn't doing the right things to motivate my students.  It was my problem, not my students' problem.  Herman disagreed a bit.  He said it was a team problem with all of us needing to do what was necessary to improve involvement.  I was not there to entertain or for my testimony to magically rub off on them simply because they showed up that day.  But my job was to create the right atmosphere so that they could be blessed for the efforts they made to strengthen their testimonies and grow closer to Heavenly Father.  In other words . . . I could dish out the water at the well, but they had to make the effort to drink it.  

We didn't get very far in the lesson today, but we got far enough to read 1 Nephi 2:16,19 and 17:19 and look for the difference between how Laman and Lemuel approached learning and how Nephi and Sam learned.  Herman told me that sometimes I would be teaching Nephis and sometimes I would be teaching Lamans.  He said that I wasn't always going to be able to get through, but I had to keep working every day because I could never tell which lesson or which moment was going to touch a heart and change a life.  I think I was still feeling a bit persnickety because I pointed out to him that even though Nephi tried and tried to convince Laman of the importance of following the gospel, eventually Laman did try to kill him.  I hope things don't ever get to that point in my class. :o)

The reality is that I have been blessed with a super awesome class.  I don't have a bunch of Lamans in my class.  I have a group of kids who are fairly diligent about coming each day, expecting to learn something that will be important to them.  I don't want to fail them.  Some days I do better than others.  Some days they do better than others.  But hopefully over time there will be enough meaningful experiences for them that they will be grateful for their time in seminary as a youth.  I'm loving this calling.  It is turning out to be one of the hardest I've ever had, but even with the days I worry that I'm not doing as well as I should, it is turning out to be one of the most rewarding callings as well.  Funny how that always seems to happen.

Loved, Loved, Loved The Hunger Games Movie!!

It isn't often that a movie lives up to the hype surrounding it, especially when it is based on a well loved book.  So often what is thrown on screen falls completely flat, sometimes to the point of ruining a perfectly good book -- I'm looking at you Twilight Saga.  I knew when I read the Hunger Games a few years ago that it was destined to find its way onto the big screen.  It has so many elements that make a great movie -- a David and Goliath story of a girl facing the power of a ridiculously powerful government, a story of survival, a romance, suspense, heartbreak.  It had it all.  I absolutely loved the Hunger Games trilogy.  I wasn't a huge fan of the last book in the series, but I really loved the first two books, so I was really looking forward to this movie.  But I tempered my expectations.  I was one of those people who stood in line to be one of the first to see Twilight, and it was a HUGE disappointment to me, so much so that by now I can hardly stand to read the books because I can only picture the constantly constipated look of Robert Pattison or the forever ticked off look (whether she is happy or sad) of Kristen Stewart when I read about Edward and Bella in the book -- not a very attractive look.  It only took three movies for me to see how hokey the premise of Twilight really is.  I'm still a fan of the books, I think.  I just have had to take an extended holiday from reading them so that I can erase the memory of the movies from my mind.  

So when I headed to see The Hunger Games this weekend I tried to lower my expectations so that I wouldn't be too disappointed.  I deliberately refrained from re-reading the books so that I didn't compare the movie and the book too closely.  I thought about attending the midnight showing on Thursday night because I love the atmosphere of the midnight showings, but because I was teaching seminary I didn't think that I could handle the late/early hours.  I would either sleep through the movie or be a terrible grump during seminary.  So I sacrificed a few hours of anticipation and instead decided to go to a showing on Friday evening.  Laney, Savannah, Spencer and I headed early to the Waynesville theater to see the 6:55 showing.  I'm glad we chose that one because the next two showings were already sold out, and we would have had to wait until after 9:00 to see the next one.  Luckily we got into the showing we wanted.  It was packed with all types of people -- especially kids around Spencer's age.  On a side note, I thought that it was super cute that little ads were running on the screen like always happens before a movie.  Like always the audience just chats away during this time, but at one point there was a commercial for some company that had lots and lots of baby pictures, and the entire audience just got quiet and didn't make a sound through the entire commercial.  I've never seen that happen before.  We must have a soft spot for babies in this world.

And now for my thoughts about the movie.  I absolutely LOVED it!  It was so much better than I could have expected.  It was an unusual movie because it was so quiet.  There was not a lot of background music at all. Instead the silence served to almost intensify the dire situation that Katniss faced, whether it was the natural hardships found in her life in the super poor District 12 or in the desperation of her participation in the Hunger Games.  I don't think I have ever been to a movie that felt so silent.  In fact, the movie John Carter was playing in the theater next to ours, and we could hear the screams and explosions of that movie through the walls.  It was a weird thing to hear in the midst of the silence of this movie.

What made this movie amazing?  Excellent casting and wonderful acting!  Where Twilight failed miserably was in the casting of the actors.  They cast people who might have looked the parts, but they couldn't act worth anything.  It was painful to watch such horrible acting at times.  In this movie, however, they managed to find actors who basically looked right for the parts, but these people could act as well.  I especially loved the casting of Katniss, Gale, and Peeta.  They managed to find actors who looked plain enough to make sense for them to be from District 12, but they were also beautiful enough that you could see the way that the government could make them over for their presentation to the country as a tribute.  But more than looks I was impressed with their ability to really act the parts.

Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss Everdeen

Jennifer Lawrence did an amazing job as Katniss.  She had the right mix of toughness and vulnerability to truly show the bleakness of the situation she faced while also showing her strength to overcome horrible odds and rise above whatever was thrown her way.  

Liam Hemsworth as Gale Hawthorne

I really liked Liam's Hemsworth's portrayal of Gale -- maybe even more than I liked the Gale in the book.  With very little screen time he was able to show the warm friendship he shared with Katniss as well as his desire to maybe move beyond the friends stage.  I especially liked the tiny snippets of time he was shown on the screen watching Katniss in the games.  He was able to show emotion without words, showing that he was unhappy to see Katniss kissing Peeta, but also understanding the need for her to do so in order to win the game and survive.

Josh Hutcherson as Peeta Mellark

Josh Hutcherson was great as Peeta.  I wasn't sure about him at first.  But as the movie progressed I was more and more impressed with his ability to show the strength of Peeta's character.  He didn't look very tough or talented in any way.  But he could really work the cameras to his good and create the story that worked to his benefit.  I thought that Josh did a great job showing a wide range of emotions without coming across as fake.

Lenny Kravitz as Cinna

My kids were absolutely amazed that Leeny Kravitz was actually a singer before he was an actor.  I actually bought a Kravitz tape when I was in high school.  For that reason I was interested to see how he would do with this important role in the film.  He did great.  My favorite scenes with him were the scenes between Katniss and Cinna.  Oh how sorry I am for his eventual destiny!  But for now I was content with Kravitz's wonderful portrayal of this character.  The fire dress wasn't nearly as cool as it seemed to be in the book, but it was good enough.

Elizabeth Banks as Effie Trinket

Not much to say about this character except to say that I thought that Elizabeth Banks did a great job.  I especially loved her in the scene when they called the names of the tributes from District 12.  She did such a great job showing the contrast between the pageantry of the capital and the bleakness of the situation for the people in the district.

Woody Harrelson as Haymitch

Excellent character!  There was so much more of Haymitch and his background in the book, so I was glad to know that as I headed into this movie.  It made Harrelson's performance so much more enjoyable to watch.  I think this was an excellent casting move.

So with that excellent main cast and an equally good supporting cast the movie was a joy to watch.  My absolute favorite scene in the movie was after Katniss mourned the death of Rue and raised her arm to the camera when the people watching from Rue's district 11 raised their arms back toward the screen in support.  Absolutely beautiful!  Loved it!

I can't wait for the next installment in this franchise.  I feel as if the books have been left in the right hands.  Hurray for an adaptation that doesn't make me roll my eyes!

Superwoman of Candidates' Wives for the Day

 Herman often entertains the idea of becoming a political candidate for statewide office every once in awhile.  I just smile at him and allow him his dream, knowing that there is no way on this big green earth that I could ever live through it.  I don't know how political spouses do it.  I could not sit day after day and read/hear other people who don't know him sit around and mock or yell about Herman and his beliefs.  It would tear me up to hear those sorts of things every day.  I would feel this need to forcefully defend him and would not be thinking happy thoughts most days as I composed all of my strongly worded emails in response.  So I'm afraid Herman's political aspirations are probably going to end at the local level.

But, having said that, I do support him with all my heart as he campaigns and serves on the school board.  He first ran for school board three years ago and won one of the two available spots at that time.  The weird thing about that campaign was that it was fairly hotly contested with several candidates who were very interested in winning the spot.  Herman was fairly laid back about the whole thing.  He figured that people would choose him if they wanted for him to be on the board, and they wouldn't choose him if they didn't.  Either way he would be okay.  He just wanted the opportunity to stay involved with the district after having worked there for ten previous years.  Although Herman was fairly laid back about things, there was a weird sort of whisper campaign against him.  People we knew would come up to us and tell us that some others in the community were spreading falsehoods about Herman.  Really?  Does politics get nasty this early at the local level for something like school board?  Ridiculous.  But it happened.  Luckily it was under the table most of the time so I didn't have to deal with it directly.  Herman won, and he has enjoyed his time on the board for the past three years.

So now it is re-election time.  Herman has said that he isn't going to put a lot of effort into advertising for this.  He figures that people in the community know who he is, for the most part, and they have either liked him as a school board member or they haven't, and they'll vote accordingly.  So it hasn't been that rigorous of a campaign season for us.  However, the CTA for our district always sponsors a Meet the Candidates Night that is broadcast on the local TV station for people to view in the weeks leading up to the election.  That night was last evening.  I knew we had something important to do yesterday evening, but for the life of me I could not remember what that was.  Usually I write these things down.  We should have had no problem remembering because they reminded Herman at the board meeting on Monday.  And yet we forgot . . . and the story begins.

I was sitting at home getting ready to begin dinner at 5:25 last evening when I got a frantic call from Herman.  He had been mowing the lawns at some of the properties we own when his google calendar reminder popped up to let him know that he had a Meet the Candidates event at 5:30.  He was wearing his mowing shorts (i.e. trashy), a Rick Perry for President t-shirt (I would also say trashy, but I'll let you make your own conclusions there), and socks and shoes stained with the latest grass clippings.  He was a bit of a mess.  But the broadcast was going to begin at 5:30, so he was just going to head over to the high school and do it as he was.  He asked me if I could possibly try to get him his suit there ASAP.  

I walked into my room, threw on my Candidate SuperWife Cape, and got to work.  I grabbed all of his dress clothes, socks, shoes, and even a wet washcloth in case he was covered in sweat (we didn't want a Nixon on TV moment here) and was out in the car within 45 seconds of hanging up from Herman's call, making sure to take time to yell out dinner instructions to Savannah as I flew out the door.  Then I high tailed it to the high school (mostly legally -- I was behind a VERY cautious driver).  After parking I flew out of the car and ran to the high school entrance.  Now, I was in pretty good shape before we headed to China -- not Kristi Sexton or Kori Lopez kind of good shape -- but good for Melissa sort of shape.  But since we returned to the US I haven't been much of a workout mama.  So I am not in the best shape for sprints.  I also am not very comfortable with running in front of other people.  I am super conscious of my jiggling middle section and a tendency to huff a bit too much with the exertion.  Who wants to see that?  But as I left my van carrying Herman's clothes I raced across the sidewalk to the front entrance of the school.  I don't think I have run like that since junior high.  The groups of students standing around stared at me, wondering, I'm sure, what had possessed this strange lady running to their school.  I did get a nice little compliment as I reached the door.  A man walking out asked me if I was there because I was in the band.  Only after looking at me for a few seconds did he realize that I was not a student.  I didn't mind losing a few minutes for that.  I mean it isn't every day that a forty year old mom of seven gets confused for a high school band student.  So that made my day.  Yea!  

But the race continued.  The broadcast was in the high school library which is located on the third floor of the building, so I needed to run up the three flights of stairs to get to Herman.  I booked it, feeling a little part of me die a bit with each step I ran.  My poor body was not prepared for this sprint.  But I did it.  I could not allow Herman to appear on TV in a Rick Perry for President shirt.  My conscience could not allow it.  I would have to purchase a spot to explain why he owned the shirt.  I mean -- Rick Perry!  No offense to the legion of Perry fans out there, but I couldn't have it.  So I continued to run with that thought fueling my speed to unreachable heights.  And I made it.  I ran into the library at 5:33.  The broadcast had begun.  I started to collapse at the entrance when I saw that all of my hard work had been in vain, because there sat Herman in between two other candidates dressed in their Sunday best while he sat there seeming to proudly be proclaiming his love for Rick Perry.  Oh my!  But while the first candidate was speaking about who she was Herman swapped with the third candidate to let that candidate go before him, and Herman ran to the back to grab the clothes and change in a conference room attached to the library.  After doing his own Superman quick change he walked out to the meeting and was ready when his turn came to introduce himself.  Disaster averted.  Hurray!

I sat and watched the broadcast which was very good.  There are three very good candidates running this year.  It took me forever to get my breath again.  I must have panted for a good fifteen minutes after I arrived as my body forcefully disagreed with my choice to tax it so harshly.  Thank goodness the mikes were set up in such a way that it didn't pick up the wheezing from the audience.  And today I'm a bit sore.  But I was there supporting my good sweetheart in his quest to continue as a representative on the school board for our wonderful school district.  Maybe only Herman knows just what a feat it was for me to get to him in that amount of time -- I totally ran my flabby behind through a crowded parking lot and up three flights of stairs for him -- but I was happy to do it.  I love the guy, after all!  

For those of you who are Waynesville school district voters, the election is on April 3rd.  Here's Herman's slightly outdated profile on the district website HERE.  

Well, That Was Not What I Expected

Herman signing up to be a delegate

Today I did something that I never thought I would ever do.  I participated in a political caucus.  It wasn't my first choice of activities for the day, but Herman really wanted for me to come support him, so I tagged along.  I was interested to see how this caucus process worked out in the real world, and despite my less-than-hard-core-Republican status (I really consider myself to be more of an independent truly) I headed to the meeting with Herman.  Before I headed to the old middle school where the caucus was to be held I had some preconceived ideas about how a caucus would be run.  In my head I expected that there would be several people in attendance who would have their own personal preferences for candidates.  I expected that those people would have an opportunity to stand before the group and express their opinions about the various candidates.  Then I thought that there would be some sort of vote, after which delegates would be chosen to represent our county at the district and state levels.  Maybe I was only dreaming, but in my head I imagined that a caucus would be an example of democracy at its purest -- citizens of all walks of life coming together to talk face to face, expressing their views, trying to convince their neighbors to come to their team, and then voting in a process that would allow us to see our vote truly count for something.  That didn't end up being what I saw today.

Herman has been a big Romney guy since before 2008.  He worked as a volunteer for his campaign in the last election, and he volunteered again for him in this one.  He has taken our older kids up to the Iowa straw poll last summer and to the Iowa caucuses a few months ago.  He feels very strongly about Romney, so he really wanted to make sure that Romney got representation from our caucus group.  He made sure that we showed up early so that we would be sure to participate today.  When we arrived, after proving that we were registered voters in the county we were able to take our seats.  I headed for the seats right away, but Herman made the rounds, greeting people and talking about what to expect.  That man is such a politician.  He's a natural at it -- a polar opposite of me in that regard.  He seems to know everyone, even the people he doesn't actually know.  He just has a way of talking with people as if he's known them forever.  As he made the rounds he discovered that there was a place for him to sign up if he wished to be a delegate, so he headed there and made his wish known.  Apparently they already had him listed.  I don't know how that happened since he isn't really active in local Republican politics.  He's on the school board, but that isn't a party affiliated position, so maybe they saw his interest through facebook.  Who knows?

After a bit of waiting 10:00 arrived, so it was time to start the caucus.  The rule was that a person had to arrive before 10 am in order to be eligible to participate in the caucus.  The doors would be locked at that time and all others would be turned away.  Apparently the sheriff had trouble getting the doors locked, so several people made it to the assembly but were told that their votes would not count.  That caused them to leave right away.  I understand the need for rules.  I do.  But it just seemed a shame to me that there were people who took the trouble to come by today to have their voices heard, and because of a delay they didn't get that chance.  I just thought that there was a good chance that those people who were turned away would be highly unlikely to participate in something like this in the future.  And that is a shame when something happens that makes people less likely to participate in a democracy.

After the assembly settled down it was time to get down to business, and the first items of business were to choose our chairperson, secretary, and parliamentarian.  This was not something that I was expecting at all.  It seemed like it wasn't that big of a deal.  I mean, who cares who calls the meeting to order or takes notes? But I came to see that those choices were pretty important to the way that the rest of the meeting flowed.  The only person put forward as chair was the guy who was already running the show here.  There was only one name put forward as parliamentarian.  There was a bit of a contest for secretary between the current prosecuting attorney and a lesser known woman who was a Paul supporter.  The PA won.  There was no debate or chance for the candidates to express why they wanted the job.  It was just voted on without question.  Like I said, I wasn't totally concerned with who would win these positions because I thought it didn't matter all that much.  But then, in my opinion at least, things got a bit wonky.  The chair immediately listed off a group of names for people he appointed to a nominating and a rules committee.  He didn't even take one second to ponder this.  He had obviously come today with that list already decided.  These people knew they would be on these committees.  There was no discussion about why these people should be on the committee or not.  They just were.

I have to take a second to talk about the makeup of our group today -- at least what my unknowing eyes perceived it to be.  There was a large Ron Paul group of supporters.  They were obviously well organized, holding folders that explained what the caucus process would be like.  These supporters, for the most part, seemed to be relatively new to the political process.  Many of them had not ever been in a caucus before.  Most of them did not hold any local political office.  They were there to support the candidate they preferred.  If I had to guess, I would say that in our group of 79 voters (that's right, only 79 people showed up today in our county) at least 40% were Paul people.  For the longest time Herman thought that he was the only Romney guy there, but as the process continued during the day it seemed that maybe 15 - 20% of the people were for Romney.  There were also another 15 - 20% for Santorum and then a handful of people for Gingrich.  So if I were an outsider (and most of the time I felt like one) I would have guessed that a large number of our delegates would be representing Ron Paul.  Just wait to see how things turned out.

The caucusing for candidates did not start right away.  First we had to see if we wanted to read the state convention rules for caucuses.  The secretary made a big deal about holding up the rules which were several pages long, showing us that it was going to take a long time to read through them.  No one wanted to sit through that.  We wanted to vote for our candidates and get this show on the road.  In retrospect, it might have been worth our time to review those rules.  One man wanted for us to read one particular section out of that rule paper.  After it was read I'm still not sure why he wanted it read, but it was important to him for some reason.  But here is the thing that was so frustrating about this assembly.  They said at the beginning that they would be observing Roberts Rules of Order.  I get the need for order in meetings.  I really do.  But that works wonderfully if you have a whole group of people who understand exactly what those rules are and how to work within those rules to get their voices heard.  Unfortunately it is a truth that many people in this world go their entire lives without ever having to be in a meeting conducted in this way, so they have no idea how it works.  And when you have a group where only a few people truly understand that system, it is easy for those people to manipulate the meeting in such a way to suppress some of the voices.  In the case of this man I witnessed the beginning of the frustration with trying to work within these "rules."  He had a devil of a time just trying to get this one little piece of business amended.  Eventually it was, the section was read, and we moved on.  Sort of.

At this point the rules committee left for some other part of the building to do something.  I still have no idea what they were doing, but I assume it had something to do with the rules.  But they were gone FOREVER.  The rest of us just hung around until they returned.  To be honest, this was probably my favorite time during the caucus.  As we sat around we started talking to one another.  Herman feels passionately about Romney. We were sitting next to a couple of soldiers who were big Paul supporters, and there was another man who wanted a conservative alternative to Romney, but who hadn't committed to anyone yet.  As we sat together we talked to each other about the candidates we supported and why (well, I just sat and listened, but it was still nice).  Everyone had great reasons for the person they were voting for, and we were able to discuss that preference in a calm and reasonable manner.  I could see value in what each person spoke of.  That is what I expected this process to be like -- all of us getting together to talk about why a particular candidate should be represented by our county.  Unfortunately, that only took place when the meeting wasn't taking place.

The chair did take time during our wait to start explaining what the Republican party stood for.  That had to be my least favorite part of the meeting because this man, although he is entitled to his opinion, was not expressing the opinions of all Republicans.  He did eventually point this out, after at least ten minutes of exposition on the subject.  But I swear, when he started talking about birth control I thought I was going to gouge my eyes out.  I was steaming angry, but for the sake of my sweet hubby I held my tongue, realizing that this was not any official part of the meeting.  I could save my hypocrisy ranting for another time.  This was simply one man's opinion -- one I heartily disagree with.  But I digress.

After what seemed like forever the rules committee returned and the meeting continued.  Now it was time to get the show on the road and vote for our people.  First, however, the real battles of the caucus were about to begin.  There was concern about what we were voting on.  We were told that we would be voting on a slate of people to attend the district level and then state level conventions (I think they were called conventions.).  The assembly wondered if we were going to vote for a group who would be voting for one candidate or if each representative would get to vote for who they chose on their own.  After a vote on this it was decided that each candidate would be voting individually.  Then the question was raised as to if the candidates would be bound to vote one way without opportunity to switch their vote.  The debate on this took forever, with several people wanting to talk about this.  The "rules" were supposed to be followed, but it seemed as if it was only followed minimally with constant questions as to if people were raising points of order, motions, or whatever.  Who knows?  I just wanted there to be free discussion of the issue since it was so important to those who were attending.  At the end of this lengthy debate it was decided that people who wanted to be delegates needed to publicly declare their candidate of choice so that people could know who was on the slate they presented.  So fine.  They went through the list of candidates, and each person declared their candidate.  As the candidates declared their candidate of choice it was clear that it was a pretty good representation of the group assembled today.  Plenty of Paul people, plenty of Romney people, plenty of Santorum people, and then a couple of Gingrich people.  It seemed representative.  But here is where things got dicey.

Apparently the nominating committee put together three "slates" of candidates.  Each slate held fourteen names.  How these names were put together was a mystery to me.  The committee did not know the preferred candidates of these people ahead of time, so it was not put together according to candidate preference.  Maybe it was in order of signup.  I just don't know.  The strange thing was that several people were on all of the slates, guaranteeing that they would be chosen.  Most of these people were those who were running this caucus today, and their names had been preprinted on the form.  Like I said before, Herman was one of those people.  Now I love him dearly, and I'm happy that he will have the chance to support the candidate of his choice, but the reality is that it made no sense why he was on all of the slates, but some people were not.  After these slates were presented they pointed out who the candidates would be voting for.  There were an entire group of people who had not signed up to be a delegate as they came in since they didn't even know that was an option, so they were unhappy that they had not been included on any slate.  They gave these people a chance to form another slate.  So everyone came forward and signed up for a fourth slate.  These people were not organized to work together at all, so there was a little bit of everything in it, but there was no organized group to help their group get chosen.

People checking out the choices for "slates"

 Now it was time to vote.  This seemed wonky to me as well.  We were asked to write our name on a piece of paper, put our choice of number 1 - 4 for the slate we preferred, and then drop the paper in one of four buckets.  They wanted to make sure that we only voted one time.  I get that.  But why do we have to attach our name to the sheet?  Surely there was a more anonymous way to count that vote.  Or if we are going to just have to attach our name to our vote anyway, why didn't we just stand up and make our vote known?  It made no sense.  But I wasn't the chair, so I didn't have any control over that decision.  Although there was some concern in the room, ultimately he made the decision to do it this way, so that's the way it happened.

Of the four slates the first one had a good representation from each candidate other than Gingrich.  The second one had some Gingrich representation unlike the others.  The third one was primarily Romney and Santorum with no Paul representation, and the fourth one was a hodge podge of candidate representatives with many people who were not the leaders of the local party.

When the vote was counted it ended up that the third slate got the most votes -- not a majority, but a plurality.  Therefore of our fourteen slots Romney got six votes, Santorum five, and three people were unaffiliated.  There was not one single Paul representative even though a good number of the people there were Paul supporters.  They were incensed.  Okay.  But there was still hope for them.  We had only voted on a slate for the first meeting.  We still could choose another for the second meeting.  However, before we had really gotten comfortable in our seats after the shock of the Paul people being shut out, a man yelled out a motion to have the same slate go to both meetings.  That was quickly seconded and thrown to a vote.  We didn't discuss it at all.  It was just a vote.  Therefore Paul people did not even get a chance to express their concern about being shut out, giving the entire group the opportunity to give them a shot at going to the state meeting.  The vote was close, but the motion stood, therefore sending a Paul-less representation to the next levels of conventions.  Well, now the Paul people were seriously ticked off.  One man stood up to voice his concern.  He explained that he felt as if he got the shaft after making the effort to show up to have his voice heard.  Time and time again the people running the show went back to parliamentary rules and said that if he had any concerns he should have made them two hours earlier at the beginning of the meeting.  Maybe that is technically true according to "Roberts Rules"  but the reality is that something that should have been very straight forward was incredibly confusing to those of us who had never done this before.  So although we had shown up today to take part in our democracy, effectively a large group of us were shut out.  Now I am happy that Herman got the chance to vote for Romney as a delegate, but both of us saw the inherent wrong in how the slates were chosen.  Why is it that the established politicians get to have more pull over the process than an ordinary group of citizens who arrive and want to participate?  Why was the group of slates set up in such a way that certain members of the local party were guaranteed to go no matter what, when less entrenched members of the party just had to trust the luck of the draw?  I don't know.  I can understand a bit of both sides of the story, but just as an observer for the most part I have to say that it did not seem like any example of what a good democracy should be.  I had always thought that the best place to make our voices heard in our democracy was at the local level because we have the opportunity to actually meet together face to face in order to express our views to a living breathing human being.  But today I seemed to see that it can be just as difficult to have your opinions count when trying to break into a local process.  It was a huge disappointment to me.  I felt very sorry for those Ron Paul people who had put a good amount of effort into getting a large group together to vote today.  Unfortunately it seems as if the complicated nature of the rules made it difficult for those people to get the representation they desired.  Of course all of us had the same opportunity to figure all of these rules and the process out ahead of time, but should this part of democracy be simple enough for anybody to arrive at today and understand without confusion?  It seems as if this should be the case, but even for a semi political junkie like myself the rules were not very clear for an unseasoned person.

The Paul people were not allowed to change the decisions of the group at all, so they all left the meeting en masse.  One of the men was very visibly upset and gave his mind to some of the local party leaders as he walked out.  Herman and I left at that time as well -- not really because we were protesting, but mostly because they were getting ready to create their suggestions for a party platform, and my wise husband knew that I would probably explode in the midst of this discussion, so we headed home.  I started the day super excited to see an example of democracy in action, and unfortunately I left the day feeling as if I had witnessed another example of the actions of our political parties that disenchants so many ordinary people from taking the time to take part in the process.  At a certain point when you feel as if your opinion is not being heard, you just stop talking, and that is a true tragedy for our democracy.

Happy 10th Birthday Katie!

This is a couple of days late.  Spring Break has been wonderful, but it does change my routine a bit, so I haven't had the time to really sit down and finish this.  But I have to make sure to take a few minutes to recognize my sweet Kathryn for the blessing she is in my life and our family's life.

Katie was born ten years ago entirely deaf.  We don't know why or what caused it, but after having her tested several times the audiologist in Rolla explained that all of his tests showed that she could not hear anything in a normal range.  He told us to prepare for the worst as far as her hearing was concerned.  So we did.  We did tons of research and had a good plan to move forward, learn sign language, and get her to the best school available to help her reach her maximum potential in this life.  We were sent to see a specialist in St. Louis to figure out the extent of the hearing damage, and before we left we took time so that Herman could give Katie a blessing.  You read about the miraculous healings that Jesus performed in the Bible, and you hear about these amazing healings that take place in the world.  I have no doubt that those sorts of things do occur.  We had absolutely no expectation of Katie being healed at all.  We were ready and willing to learn to be excellent parents to a child with a hearing disability.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with that at all.  So when Herman was giving her the blessing he wasn't asking for the Lord to take away her disability.  He wasn't begging that this struggle be taken away from her or us.  We were just hoping that the diagnostic tests would go well and we would be able to leave the office with a clear plan for the future.  But in the middle of the blessing Herman quietly said, "I bless you that you can hear."  There were no fireworks.  It was not some massive voice of power from on high calling down the blessings of heaven.  It was just a passing statement.  When he finished I cocked open one eye and asked if I heard him right.  Herman said that I had.  It made him a bit nervous to have made such a statement in the middle of a blessing.  I mean that is a heavy promise to make when the top guy in Rolla had already explained that Katie would probably always be deaf.  We tried to justify the statement away a bit by saying that it must have just meant that she would be able to hear with cochlear implants or something like that.  Sometimes we show too little faith, I'm afraid.  This was one of those times.  Well, to make a long story short we headed to St. Louis where they did a brain scan while testing all sorts of sounds with Katie, and after everything they said that she had perfect hearing.  Hurray!  Maybe she was always able to hear and the tests were just failures.  Maybe not.  I don't know.  But I feel in my heart that, for whatever reason, Heavenly Father chose to have Katie be healed of this issue.  Her ears have never been perfect.  Of all my children she has had the most difficulty in hearing consistently.  It affected her speech and even after operations to try and fix some of the stuffiness in her ears, she still suffers a bit from lack of hearing.  But overall she has been able to function normally in this world, even with a bit of hearing loss, and I count that as a real life miracle of God.  I am grateful for that so much.

Today Katie has turned into an amazing young woman who is eager to grow up much faster than she should.  She has a joy for living that can be a bit contagious.  So in honor of her tenth birthday, here are ten things that I love about Katie:

1. Her beautiful singing voice.  Katie loves to sing everything -- especially Disney songs and good top 40 type songs.  She has one of those voices that really shows emotion when she belts things out.  Last year she got the opportunity of a lifetime when she was cast as Gretl in the high school's production of The Sound of Music, and I was so proud of her singing.  She showed absolutely no shyness at all as she sang her heart out in front of huge crowds each night.  It was wonderful!  I need to get her some voice lessons so that she can nurture this natural talent.
2. Her easy ability to interact with those in need.  Katie is best friends with a girl who has some condition that I can't name, but basically this little girl and her twin sister will not interact with others verbally.  To me it seems like extreme shyness, but it is actually much more than this.  But Katie has somehow found a way to communicate with these girls, and after a few months of one-sided communication, all of the sudden these girls started talking to Katie, and now they never stop.  They are great friends.
3. Her fashion sense.  I'll admit that sometimes Herman or I have to lay down the law and refuse to allow her to wear some of her more creative outfits, but it is fascinating to watch her roam a clothing store or go through her (and sometimes her sisters') clothes to come up with a new idea for an outfit.
4. Her enthusiasm for life.  Katie loves jumping into new experiences with gusto.  
5. Her phone manners.  I love to hear Katie talk on the phone.  She sounds so grown up in so many ways, but she also just sounds so full of light.  It's sweet.
6. Her great relationship with her brother Hyrum.  That hasn't always been the case, but they have recently bonded over their mutual love of Star Wars -- especially the prequels for some strange reason.  I love to hear them making Star Wars plans together.
7. Her love for me.  Katie seems much more attached to me than the other Blau kids.  It's not that they are attached.  It's just that Katie is constantly looking for reasons to sit by me or hang out with her.  She is very concerned about trying to do things like me.  It's a bit flattering and a bit daunting at the same time.
8. Her obsession with the color pink.  She is very concerned about differences between boys and girls, and right now boys are in the "icky cootie" stage in her opinion.  She is very concerned that she be all girl, and even though I explain to her that it is okay for girls to wear blue she will not have any of it.  Consequently, when I do laundry I always have a huge pile of reds/pinks to do in order to cover Katie's wardrobe choices.  I wonder how long this will last.
9. Her ability to roll with whatever life sends her way.  Now, to be honest, Katie isn't a completely laid back child.  She can get awfully unhappy if events don't go exactly has she has planned out in her mind.  But she also meets some of her biggest disappointments with a philosophical bent that helps her to work her way through them.  Ultimately I believe that this side of her personality is going to shine forth and allow her to make the best life possible for herself with a smile on her face.
10. The way that she expresses herself through her eyelashes.  I can always tell when Katie is telling a lie. Her eyelashes show the lie.  I can also tell when she is feeling an excess of emotion.  Her eyelashes tell.  I can tell when she is super excited about something or incredibly confused.  Her eyelashes tell.  It's hard to explain how, but I can just tell.  She is going to have to learn to be a very straight forward and honest young woman, because she is never going to cut it as a fraud in any way.  Luckily, she has beautiful lashes to tell her story.

I love my Katie Bell!

Katie leading our tour through the Forbidden City in Beijing

China Pictures Finally -- Part Three (Guangzhou)

Here are more links to our entries about our time in Guangzhou with pics, including Hyrum's birthday and baptism with a near disastrous event, our time performing as a family in a Chinese bar, and the latest medical garb in Chinese medical clinics.  Enjoy!

• China Day Fourteen -- On to Guangzhou!
• China Day Fifteen -- Medical Stuff and Squeaky Shoes
• China Day Sixteen -- Hyrum Turns Eight in China!
• China Day Seventeen -- The Day it Would Have Been Helpful to Know Our Chinese a Bit Better
• China Day Eighteen -- Government as Usual Plus China Shopping Made Easy
• China Day Nineteen -- Goodbye Mainland China!

Pardon Me While I Gush For a Moment

So I'm having one of those Mama Moments.  You know, those moments that make you want to burst as a mama but probably drive your kids crazy with your over-enthusiasm or over-reaction to an ordinary everyday moment of life.  But I can't help it.  I'm gushing.

So what happened to put me in this overly happy, goofy faced mood?  Well, my oldest daughter, Laney, is such a good girl.  I feel like we have gotten so lucky with her.  I feel like she sets the pace for her younger brothers and sisters, and if she had chosen to be difficult it could have led to several long and difficult teenage years in the Blau household.  I wish that I could say that she is this way because of some amazing parenting, but I just don't think that that is the case.  I think she just came to earth naturally good and is just living up to that potential.  She tries so hard to make good choices for her life.  She self regulates, and that can be a rare quality, especially during the teen years when so many youth are yearning to break free and experience all that life has to offer.  It can be difficult to contain yourself in that atmosphere, but Laney manages to do so on a daily basis.  If anything she can be a bit too hard on herself, unhappy if she feels that she is falling short in any way from the high expectations she sets for herself.  She works hard to put the advice of Proverbs 3:5-6  to practice in her life:

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

(I totally cannot read this scripture without breaking out into the Calypso scripture mastery song that goes with it that we use when we are memorizing this in seminary.)

It is definitely not the position I thought I would be in as a parent of teenagers, but I find myself less in the role of law enforcement and more in the role of teacher and support staff.

Okay.  So I know that when we choose to be good we don't do it because we desire to have the praise of the world around us.  We should choose the right simply because it is the right thing to do.  We should make the right choice, even if we are the only one to do it.  But let's be honest.  It is hard to feel like you are the only person choosing the right.  We would much prefer to be making good choices and have the support of an awesome crowd surrounding us.  No one wants to stick out, especially when you are seventeen years old.  So it is wonderful when I see that there are others out there ready and willing to stand up with Laney as she makes good choices.  We have a great church youth program in our area, and there are plenty of other people who do not share our religious beliefs but who are supportive of Laney and the good choices she makes.  I am grateful for those people.  They make situations that could be difficult much easier.

I feel like I have to digress just a bit from the main point of this post and explain our (Herman and my) somewhat unusual (at least when compared to the common practices of this society) philosophy about dating.  And to explain our philosophy we have to go to the end before we can explain the beginning.  We believe that one of the most important decisions that our children will ever make in this lifetime will be the choice of who they will marry.  In our church we believe that this is not a "until death do we part" deal, but it is an eternal deal.  Forever.  And ever.  And ever.  That's a long, long time.  A loooooong time.  So here's the deal... it is essential that our babies get this choice right.  This choice can have lasting effects on an entire course that a life can take.  Who you choose to marry matters.  Okay.  End of seminary lesson for today.  But the time to think about who you marry is not when you are twenty years old and in the middle of a dating frenzy.  I know my seminary class (and all of the youth who ever attended a Herman fireside while he was bishop) have heard this before but:  There is only one way to control who you marry.  You have to control who you fall in love with.  And there is only one way to control who you fall in love with, and that is to control who you date.  So what does that mean?  Well, you have to set your standards high -- not so high that no man or woman on the planet can meet them, but realistically high, with an expectation to date men who hold the same high standards that you hold, who have the same desires to be righteous and clean, and who are as driven to succeed as you are.  These aren't impossible standards, but they are standards that many of the available dating pool in our area do not meet.

So what does that mean?  Does that mean that Laney just doesn't date for the entire time she in high school? Maybe.  It could.  But the reality is there are several good young men in our area, so she doesn't have to confine herself to our house every single week if she doesn't want to.  But here is the other part to our dating philosophy.  We (and especially Herman) believe that Laney needs to be dating a lot.  I mean A LOT!  Every week, twice a week, as often as possible.  What father would be saying that about his sweet little girl?  Herman would.  But we aren't talking about weekly make-out sessions and exclusive dating.  We believe that it is through dating that our children will begin to understand exactly the type of person that will make them happiest.  Too many young people are so quick to form strong exclusive relationships with one another and cut off the rest of the world while they only focus on one person.  It's like deciding that Chunky Monkey is your favorite Ben and Jerry's flavor without trying any of the others out there.  Okay.  I'll admit Chunky Monkey is the best.  Without question.  So maybe that analogy doesn't quite fit.  But the main point is that we want for our children to date a lot of different people and begin to recognize what qualities matter the most to them.  These dates should be low key, low pressure, fun situations that lead to conversations and they should be group dates as well because the more people on the date, the less pressure and more fun (although it has been a major, major pain trying to get group dates together -- so many youth don't date that way -- urg!).  But the point is that we really, really want for our kids to date a lot once they turn sixteen.  Herman wants this so much that he actually has pulled out his calendar and set dates up for Laney during the stake dances.  Who can say no to President Blau?  I mean, really.  These poor boys confronted with a date proposal by the girl's dad.  They had to say yes.  Not that any of them minded.  It just isn't common practice.  Now, when I was 16/17 I would have literally died if my dad had started setting up dates for me.  Or maybe not.  I don't know.  But no, I'm sure.  I didn't have the confidence at that age to handle that.  Laney is brimming with confidence, and she approaches her daddy's date scheduling with good humor, and she's had some very fun, non-awkward dates because of it.  We're actually totally excited to double-date with her one of these days, but that would probably be too weird for the young man on the date.  I don't know why.  Herman and I would be waaaaaaayyyy cool on a date.  We're super fun.  Aren't we?  What teenager wouldn't want to hang out with us on a date?  Luckily, for Laney's sake, we haven't forced this on her . . . yet.

Well, with that long winded digression I am to the meat of my post, why I am gushing a bit this week.  Here is the thing that has been frustrating for me as a mama.  I love that Laney is going on fairly regular dates.  I love that she is super confident and is able to go and have a great time, avoiding that absolutely ridiculous melodrama that can go with dating in the teen years.  Just read my teen diaries someday. I was queen of relationship melodrama, even when I was not involved in relationships.  Laney is not following my high school path, thank goodness.  I love that she has a reputation for making good choices in her life.  This is entirely a Melissa neurosis, but I just wish that there were strong young men in our area who would recognize this in Laney.  I am not talking about young men falling down at her feet and professing their everlasting love for her.  I am not talking about her finding a boyfriend.  I am not talking about anything romantic.  What I am talking about is for there to be young men who are not only making good choices, but young men who are open in talking with young women to let them know that they appreciate the choices that these young women are making each day.  That is one step above just being a good young man.  It is having the confidence to live your beliefs and stand strong with others who are living them as well.  Young men like this are not all that common.  This is not any sort of condemnation of the young men of the area.  We've got some wonderful boys in our area who will be amazing members of the Church as they continue to grow and mature.  They just have not been very quick to verbalize their appreciation for the good choices our young women make, even if they may think that in their heads.  When those young men do show up in our area they tend to not say those things to my girls.  I also recognize that this criticism can go both ways.  Young women can suffer from the same problem of not standing tall with our righteous young men.  But right now I am dealing with young women of dating age.  See what I post when Spencer gets to be dating age.  (Hold onto your seats world!  That's going to be a bumpy ride!)  But as a mama I talk to my girls about holding out, keeping their standards high, because eventually, EVENTUALLY, they will find that special man out there who is strong and good and will appreciate the good in them.  It is always eventually, something that will occur down the road.  Never here.  Like I say, this is my neurosis, but I really would love it if those young men would be here now.  Again, I'm not saying that I want my girls to find boyfriends.  I just would love it if there was some guy out there who would take the time to say, "Laney.  I notice that you are making excellent and righteous choices. I appreciate that about you."  It would just give validation to my point that young men like that do exist. It makes it that much easier to continue making those good choices.

I'll admit it.  I troll Laney's facebook page.  I troll her blog.  I check out what others are saying on it.  I love seeing how my children's personalities have blossomed into their own strong personalities.  I like to see how Laney interacts with the world and how they interacts with her.  Thank goodness she seems to have gotten a good share of Herman's extroverted personality.  Life is so much easier when you are outgoing.  Or at least it seems to be for an introvert like me.  But anyway, earlier this week while trolling her facebook I found that she had created a mormon.org profile and posted a link to it on her page.  It was absolutely wonderful.  I can really feel her personality come out as she recorded her thoughts on this page.  It made me so happy to find that she has really come into her own.  She has her own light of a testimony to hold before the world, and it truly shines brightly.  Yea!  I'll quote my excellent Institute instructor, Brother Anderson when I say, "Since pride is such a bad thing I'll just say that when I think of my children I am well pleased."  Love you Brother A!  So I was well-pleased as I read Laney's words.

Then I found a sweet little message from a young man who attended EFY with Laney last summer.  He just stated that he read her profile and blog and thanked her for them and for being a good example.  He said that reading them made him want to be a better person.  Well, let me tell you, if I could have super shrunk myself into a tiny molecule of a person and traveled through the lines of cyberspace I would have done it right then to pop out of that young man's computer and give him a giant hug of a thank you.  I was sooooo grateful to him for that comment.  It was a simple, kind comment that he probably shares with lots of people across facebook, but it was a comment that as a mom I had wished for my daughter to receive all of these years.  Finally, a young man saw her goodness and thought enough to thank her for her choices.  It wasn't just Mom and Dad and her bffs. I was so happy for the actions of this young man.  Gushing.  Over-reacting, I'm sure, but I don't think I have the verbal capacity to explain just how much I was concerned about this lack of validation from the young men of the Church.  Is it important?  Not really.  It shouldn't be.  But it was to me, so it made me very happy to see this young man's comment.  How happy did it make Herman?  Well, he doesn't really gush -- well, maybe he does a bit when he talks about local missionary activity and baptisms.  He does get excited about everything though.  He wasn't bouncing off the walls, though.  He just went into Yente mode (check it out -- Fiddler on the Roof -- gotta get my musical reference in at least once a post), and told Laney that he would contact some of his educator contacts in Indiana to set up a consulting gig for himself.  Then he could take Laney with him, have this young man set up a group outing with all his crowd and have Laney go on a date there.  Now I know that sounds totally creepy, doesn't it?  Not really when you consider that Herman is totally willing to drive/fly Laney anywhere in the country to go on a great date with great examples.  For goodness sake, he's getting ready to send her out to Utah in a couple of weeks to go on a few dates with children of missionary companions he had who live there.  Okay, they are attending conference as well.  We wouldn't just send her out there just for a date, but still, for Herman, if he can round up a good reason to be in an area with his business he'll have no problem bringing Laney as well to get some good dating experience.  He even set up a future date with a young man from Dallas we met in Nauvoo who was visiting there with his family.  And the entire time we were in China he was working to get Laney a date with the local church kids there.  Like I say, it is important to Herman that Laney go on lots of dates with good young men, no matter where they live.  We managed to convince Herman that it would probably completely freak this young man out for Herman to show up in Indiana with Laney in tow.  I don't know.  Maybe not.  Herman says he would have been thrilled to have a girl do that when he was in high school.  I am beginning to see the wisdom of God in how I was impressed to date Herman when we met.  I was pretty bold, very unlike my normal personality, and it suited Herman perfectly.  But Herman is not the average guy in this department, and since I've never been a guy myself -- only an extremely awkward girl -- I don't know how young men would normally react.  So we saved this young man from the potential awkwardness and were just content to be quietly thankful for his kind words from afar.

So I am thankful to those young men out there who are bold enough to let the young women in the Church know that they appreciate the good they are doing.  I hope that one day my three boys can be that sort of young man.  I just can't imagine those sorts of words coming out of Spencer's mouth, but he is only thirteen, so he'll have some room to grow in this department.  I think I'll take some time to make sure that my girls know to do the same for our young men in return.  I know that Laney is totally willing to stand alone in her choices, but it sure is nice to know that there are others standing beside you!