Minsy's I Love You Moment

All of the sudden Minsy is turning into a little girl. Oh, she is still super tiny. But sometime in the last three weeks she stopped seeming like such a baby girl to me. Her language seems to blossom more and more each day, she's getting a bit taller, and her features seem more refined. I can't wait to see the pediatric endocrinologist next week to see how much she has grown in the last three months. He's kind of anal when it comes to measuring her, so he'll be able to tell us how much she has grown to the very millimeter. 

A typical Minsy conversation with me:

Minsy comes into my room carrying some object -- today it was a stuffed monkey.

Minsy: "ook. 'ook!" (She still can't say the 'L' sound.)

Me: "Wow, Minsy! What is that?"

Minsy: "A wa wa." (wa wa is doll in Chinese.)

Me: "That's a monkey."

Minsy: "Wha?"

Me: "A monkey."

Minsy: "Whoa."

I think I have this conversation with Minsy ten times a day involving all sorts of objects around the house. Way cute!

Well, today Minsy learned to say something else. Laney taught Minsy how to say "I love you." It is so adorable! Now, I'm not sure if she is really meaning it when she says it. But this is a first step. Even if she doesn't quite say it on her own and is only mimicking us right now, it still melts my heart to hear it. I am loving the chance we have to watch Minsy drink up all of the language and ideas around her as she becomes more and more acclimated to life as a Blau. I love our little Chinese wonder child!

A Sad Tale of Irregular Jelly Bellies and Combat Boots

While I was getting ready for camp a few weeks ago Herman came home from a trip to the dollar store with a couple of bags of Belly Flops. These are Jelly Belly Beans that didn't make it through the production line as nice uniform beans. So they collect the weird looking ones, package them as Belly Flops, and make a little money on their big mistake. Corporate genius at its best, I'd say. Well, when I saw these beans I thought that they would be a perfect thing for me to use for the evening devotional I was planning for my girls at camp. I could have those beans along with the perfect looking ones, and I could talk about how it doesn't matter what we look like on the outside. We're still just as yummy on the inside. Or something like that. Really I hadn't taken tons of time to refine my message because I was going to wait until we got closer to camp so that I could let the Spirit guide me on that.  So don't judge me too harshly for coming up with a super lame devotional idea. :o)

So the weekend before camp arrived. Herman and Spencer had been away at Boy Scout camp for the entire week, and they had just arrived back at home. It is always an adventure when they get home from scout camp because it is almost like Herman's truck just backs to the door and throws up into my living room. I can't complain, though. The same thing happens after Girls Camp. After the obligatory hour of recap of the events of the week (and, by the way, I know that I'm not getting the full story there -- Herman and Spencer both know that I would probably freak out if I knew all of the adventures involving knives and fires and wrestling that take place at scout camp) but anyway, after hearing the fun Spencer and Herman had that week I figured that Herman would be ready for a shower and a nap. He did take a shower, but instead of taking a nap he volunteered to make a quick trip to the dollar store to pick up the 25 packages of Belly Flops I would need for my devotional on Monday night. I was super grateful that he volunteered to do this because, like always, I had procrastinated my planning and was cramming it all into my Saturday, hoping to be prepared for an early morning departure on Monday. 

So Herman took off on his quest to meet the needs of his damsel in distress. . . . and I didn't see him again for three hours. Whoa! Three hours! There must have been some crazy lines at the dollar store. When he got back home he was positively giddy. He had found no less than six pair of army combat boots. Brand new combat boots that he was convinced would make my girls camp experience absolutely perfect! He got various sizes, none of which were necessarily the sizes of the people in our family. But he said that it didn't matter because somewhere out there he would find someone who could use a solid pair of combat boots. But that's not all! In addition to a whole load of boots Herman also found several pair of army pants. Several years ago the army changed the pattern for their uniforms, so you can always find lots of clothes with the old pattern in local thrift stores. Herman felt like he had hit the jackpot that day, so he brought several pairs home to hand out to the girls and me. And if we wouldn't take them, that's okay, because there would be tons of young men who could use them camping later in the year. Who could turn down combat pants, right? 

I have to admit that I may not be the world's best wife in these sorts of situations because I just can't garner up enough enthusiasm to match Herman's when he comes home with such a stash. But I think that is part of the fun for Herman -- seeing my lack of enthusiasm for his great buys. Luckily we have enough children to compensate for my lack of passion when it comes to camping attire. Spencer, of course, loves the stuff, but Savannah was also willing to let Herman plan her girls camp wardrobe. The day was saved, and Herman was happy to have provided at least one of his girls with some sweet rugged clothing to get her through the week. 

Here's Savannah leading the songs
at camp and modeling Herman's
idea of proper attire for a girl
at camp. To properly finish off the look
Savannah made sure to add a
Ron Paul campaign shirt.

So everything's great, right? I thought it was, so I decided that evening to go out with Herman since it was the only chance we would have for a date between the two camps. We headed out for a late dinner, and as we were waiting for our food to be served I began to wonder what he had done with the packages of Belly Flops. I needed to make sure to pack them so I wouldn't forget them. So I asked Herman where he put them, and he gets that look that all of us get when we remember the important errand that we were supposed to complete but instead end up doing something completely different. He had completely forgotten the Belly Flops, and the dollar store was closed for the day. I wouldn't be able to get any on Sunday, and we were leaving before the store opened on Monday, so there were not going to be any Belly Flops for my lesson.

Oh no!

What was I going to do now?

I was going to have to move on to Plan B when it came to my devotional. But all was well. I managed to say something that didn't sound completely ridiculous. I don't know if the girls felt any lasting life lessons from the devotional I gave, but they sure did enjoy my completely perfect Jelly Belly beans that I handed out during the lesson. But the best news of all? . . . We, Team Blau, now own at least fifteen pairs of combat boots and probably twice as many army pants. When the zombie apocalypse arrives we will be ready!

Top Ten Things I Loved About Girls Camp 2012

I just got home after five days of Girls Camp with the young women of the St. Robert Stake. I didn't think I would be coming this year. After four years serving as the stake camp director I was released in order to teach seminary, and although I was helping a bit behind the scenes, I didn't have any official reason to come. I thought it would be weird to stay home this year after ten straight years of attending, but it ended up that my ward needed my help when several of the women serving in young women ended up moving this summer. I volunteered to help get the girls in my ward ready for camp as their unofficial camp director -- unofficial because I'm not technically supposed to be holding another calling because of my seminary position. But it is the summer so I have some extra time to help where I am needed, so I was happy to help out with camp this year.

I have to admit that it was way weird to be at camp this year as a ward leader and not a stake leader -- not because of I have this irrational craving for power, but because I walked around feeling like I wasn't doing enough. I always felt like I needed to be running all over the place doing things like I had in the past, but as a ward leader I wasn't under as much pressure, so I had a lot of down time. That felt strange to me, so I spent the first two days feeling out of sorts with the experience. But after a little soul searching on Day Two I make a decision to approach the whole camp experience a bit differently, and I ended up having a total blast. There are so many things that I want to share and remember in this post, but I thought that I would simplify things a bit and just list the top ten things I loved about camp this year. So here goes:


1.  Laney

I can hardly believe that this was Laney's last year of camp. I still remember when she came with me to camp as a twelve year-old first year, and now her time as a young woman camper is over. While I was doing some quiet reflection on the rocky banks of the creek early on Tuesday morning it really hit me, and I'm not afraid to admit that I had myself a good long cry over it. I thought about some of the experiences that I had shared with Laney during past camps, and I was sad to think that she wouldn't be around in future camps. I thought of one experience in particular. It was the first year that I was serving as the stake camp director, and I had decided that it would be super cool if each of the units would make their own movies based on our camp theme to show at camp during skit night. But (as always seemed to happen with me at camp) I was having serious technical difficulties with the technology. The sound was just awful, and I felt awful that the girls had gone to all of that work, only to find that their projects were basically unintelligible.  After working and working and working to make things right I finally let one of the priesthood holders there come and try to fix things. And I went into an alcove next to the main stage and burst into tears. It really wasn't that big of a catastrophe, but I was emotionally spent after months of planning and preparation, and it all caught up with me at that moment. Well, Laney must have seen me head for the side room, and she followed me. She let me have my cry and then gave me a hug and let me know that it really wasn't as big of a deal as I was making it out to be. I dried my tears and put on a giant smile, ready to head back into the main stage area and work things out. I don't know why that particular event stuck in my mind, but maybe it's because it reminded me of how comforting it has been to have Laney with me through the years of camp. I'm going to miss that . . . a lot. As the JCs were asked to come forward and then the last year JCs were recognized on the last day of camp I started to cry again. I am seriously going to be a basket case this entire year as I come to those "Last" moments for Laney. Oh how I wish that time would slow down!

What I have noticed about Laney as a camper . . . Well, I guess it is the same thing that I notice about her as a non-camper. Laney is a compassionate young woman. Laney has come through camp with a seriously talented group of JCs. They were a giant group of first years, and they continued to be the largest group of JCs up to this year. They all have so many various talents that make them unique. What I have noticed is that Laney is not the flashy JC. She is the girl who will quietly help the girls who are struggling. She is the girl who will lend a listening ear to a girl who needs to talk through a trial in her life. She is the girl who will stay behind to make sure that the stragglers aren't left behind on the hikes. She had a particular talent working with the youngest campers to help them recognize just how special they are and how much Heavenly Father loves them. I loved watching her during camp and seeing the younger girls come up to her and give her hugs of love and gratitude all week long. It was especially nice to hear the testimony meeting at the end of camp and hear the girls in her level talk about how they were having problems but Laney made it better. It makes my heart warm to think of what a kind young woman she is. I appreciate her pure testimony of the Gospel and her willingness to help others to see their divine worth.  

I added this picture of Laney helping Cheyanne during

the blindfolded portion of the hike because I think that

it shows Laney's kind nature and willingness to help

the young women she has served during camp.

2.  Savannah

I could not believe the Savannah I saw at camp this year. I know how funny Savannah is at home. She is an absolute riot at times with her witty replies for almost everything. She can pull out movie quotes and literature references without even blinking and have all of us rolling with laughter. Amazing! But I have always thought that outside of our house she was super shy and quiet. I didn't think that very many people ever got to see the funny side of her personality. But this year at camp I got to see her show that side to everyone. She was hilarious! I mean she was absolutely hilarious! She had so many of her peers laughing all throughout camp. They played this game called Pterodactyl where the object was to not show your teeth during the entire game. Each person had to say pterodactyl to the person next to them in a crazy way to try and get that person to break out in a toothy grin. It was hilarious to watch the girls play this, and Savannah was a master. When you put her with Michaela Housel they were a force to be reckoned with. I loved watching the two of them together. In the evenings 1st and 2nd wards would stay up in our common pavilion area and sing and play games until late into the night. On the first night Savannah and Michaela led the younger campers in some of the fun camp songs that the JCs usually lead each year. I think I stared at Savannah and Michaela with my mouth open half the night because I had NO idea that she knew any of those songs -- especially not enough to lead the rest of the camp singing them. But she had all of us singing and laughing all night. It was a side of Savannah that I had never seen before. She'll be a great JC next year! I especially loved to see the younger girls of the St. Robert wards constantly asking Savannah to start a song or play a game with them. They are all convinced that she is a total comedian. In fact, one of our young women mentioned how fun she was when she recounted her camp experience for our ward today during church. It was a pleasure to be there to see this transformation of Savannah. But even with all of her humor and fun, Savannah also shows that she can be an example of a young woman with a strong testimony of the Gospel. I am grateful that she is such an example to the young woman around her.

This is Savannah doing her "Interpretive Dance of the Pterodactyl"
trying to get Bishop Ashton and Bro. Clayton to laugh.

3.  Laney/Savannah Interaction

One of the things that I loved most about being at camp with my girls was seeing them interact with one another. I know that there are lots of sisters at this age who don't always get along so well. But I have always been grateful that Laney and Savannah are best friends. Part of me is super sad to know that this was the last year that Laney and Savannah will be campers together. But Sis. Jacobson was totally inspired when she put Laney as one of the 4th year JCs, so they were able to hang out for much of camp. As a ward camp director I had lots of free time on my hand during the time that the girls were doing level activities, so I just decided to hang out with the 4th years since both my girls were there. I'm so glad that I did. It is amazing to me that Laney and Savannah are so different and yet so compatible together. Each of them complement the great qualities of the other, and it is fun to see them interact with each other. Seeing them together makes me a happy mama.

I love this picture of Savannah carrying
Laney across the creek so that she
wouldn't get her shoes wet.

Laney tried very hard to get Savannah to smile during
Pterodactyl, but it was a tough job!

4.  The Girls

4th Level girls and JCs before their hike

One of my favorite things about serving as stake camp director was my interaction with the young women of the stake, and that was the thing that I missed the most as I wandered around aimlessly this year for the first few days of camp. But then I decided that I was just going to find myself a purpose and stop my moping. So the first thing I did was to volunteer as a server during one of the meals. As I joked with the girls who came through the line I found my rhythm and saw what needed to happen in order for me to catch my groove at camp this year. I decided to attach myself to the 4th level girls since that was where Laney and Savannah were. As I participated in activities with them I was so happy to talk with the girls and see their fun personalities. I find it hard to believe that there was a time when I was younger when young women scared me to death -- strange but true! These girls are amazing, and I was glad that I got to hang out with them. Several pointed out how I was their camp director when they first came to camp, and they were glad to see me there. You don't always know if you are making a difference when you do callings, so it was super nice to hear them tell me of the difference I had made in their life.

I had the chance to get to know the women of the St. Roberts wards as well, and that was wonderful. When I was serving in the stake I was often too busy to really get to spend lots of quality time with the girls, so it was such a treat this year to have the time to just sit in the evenings and hear their conversations and join in their activities. It was the most rewarding thing about camp this year for me. Before I came to camp I had some preconceived notions about what sort of girls I was bringing from my ward, and I came to see that I was dead wrong about so many of the girls. They are talented young women who are enthusiastic and caring and fun. I am so lucky to have been their leader this year!

Sabrina, Mie Ling, and Julia preparing for a night
sleeping outside the tents.

Young Women of St. Robert 1st and 2nd wards playing
a round of Big Booty with Bishop Ashton and Bro. Clayton

Adrienne and Keziah

5.  The Representation from the St. Robert Wards

Bro. Stribling and Bro. Albrecht fixing my flat tire
on the way to camp.

There were so many amazing men and women who helped out with camp from our area. I have to start off by praising our wonderful priesthood brethren who took time off of work to help us out. That isn't the norm for so many units of the stake, but we had lots and lots of support from the men of our two wards. The first moment I was grateful for this was on the way down to camp when we were travelling the crazily bumpy back roads of Howell county. These roads were absolutely insane, and my poor little van was loaded down with seven young women and a load of supplies. We were travelling in a caravan with the other people from our wards, and at one point we had to pull over and wait for the trucks behind us to catch up. As I jumped out of the van to talk to the other drivers I heard this whooshing sound coming from my back tire. It had a terrible leak and would be flat in a matter of minutes. Without even asking Bro. Stribling and Bro. Albrecht took charge and took care of changing the tire for me. I was sooooo grateful. In years past I had traveled to camp on my own, and this would have been a major catastrophe for me. It made me grateful to have such good men along to help out. Bro. Stribling stayed the entire time for camp, and he was a powerhouse all week long. He went above and beyond the call of duty over and over and over again. My favorite story about him all week was when he was called in the middle of the night to give a priesthood blessing to a young woman who was having seizures. Apparently the experience was extremely spiritual to those in attendance, and one of my young women, Adrienne, talked with us about it later. She said how grateful she was that he was a worthy priesthood holder and able to exercise his priesthood to help this young woman. Adrienne said that she was more than ever determined to marry a man who could be worthy like this. Way cool!

There weren't just amazing men helping out from our area. There were amazing women. I was the only one from my ward, but we combined with first ward, and there were lots of ladies serving from there. It was so nice to hang out with these awesome women to laugh and commiserate and experience the joys and fun of camping. Nadine Albrecht is a planner extraordinaire. She coordinated with the scouts to make sure we had all of the equipment we needed, and she had some sweet little gifts for the girls each day. Jeni Norris is the YW president from 1st ward, and I loved watching her interact with the girls. You can see just how much she loves them and how much they love her. Sammy Jacobson served as the JC leader for camp this year, and she was so funny and kind. I was super, super glad that she was called to be the JC leader for camp. Laney adores her and is constantly quoting her to me (did you know that Sammy?).  Tara Priddis was there as well serving as a level leader, and I loved hearing her talk about all of her neat experiences in life. It makes me feel like I was a total slacker during my high school and college years. I loved hanging out with all these ladies. They made my camp experience so much more fun.

Adrienne standing next to Sammy

Jeni and Nadine

The 1st Ward ladies taking a break in the creek.

Bishop Ashton from 1st ward and Bro. Clayton from 2nd

6.  The Cave

In the two previous years that we have had camp at Bro. Carroll's place up to this year I have never had time to go on an excursion to the sweet cave on his property. This year I had more free time so I was determined to go there. I headed out with the 4th years and found it was more fun than I had imagined. For some reason I expected it to be a cave that was super small with crawl spaces that would bring out my dormant claustrophobia. I think this cave has those sorts of spots, but we only needed to go through the first main compartment, sparing me from working on my relaxation breathing as I went through tight spots. The cave was fairly large so that we could stand up and walk through it. It was full of water -- freezing cold water that numbed my feet beyond any feeling. The fun for the girls is sliding through the slimy mud at the entrance to the cave, and it didn't take long for the beautiful young women in my group to turn into a bunch of swamp monsters. At first I remained mostly clean. Savannah gave me some Native American markings on my face, christening me on my first cave run. But as I emerged from the cave I was completely bummed that I was so clean after my first experience there. I wanted to be a lot more muddy. After voicing my concern the sweet young women there decided to give me a giant group hug, giving me my muddy wish. It was soooo much fun. I'm so glad that I took the time to have this experience. I may not have a chance like that again.

7.  The Hike

The hike was another thing that I never had the chance to do as a stake leader, and I always wanted to. The hikes for camp never seemed all that amazing until we got to Bro. Carroll's property. His place was so beautiful that it made the hikes pleasant, but they were also challenging as well because of the steep hills. I had been worried that they would be so hard that the girls would complain, but they have always approached these hikes with good humor. This year I decided to hike with Laney and Savannah's group, and it was a good thing because their stake leader was unable to go with them, making me the adult to chaperone. As we headed into the wilderness I was told that it would be a simple trail that simply went in a circle with no breakoff trails to confuse us. We just had to follow the path, stopping at periodic intervals so that the JCs could deliver a spiritual message to everyone. So we headed off. The JCs did a really nice job sharing their spiritual thoughts. Our group really did have an awesome group of JC leaders. But we did not find that the trail was so simple. There were several spots where we had to try and figure out which direction to go. The girls kept looking to me like I knew what I was doing. I did not. So we took our chances and made a guess. I loved that the girls would stop periodically and suggest that we at least say a prayer so that we wouldn't get ourselves completely lost. At one point we took a path, then after a few minutes we all started to feel like we were not headed in the right direction. So I encouraged us to retrace our steps and try again. When we got back to the fork in the path Adrienne stopped all of us, saying "Wait guys! I have the perfect way to tie this to a spiritual experience!" Then she proceeded to give all of us an impromptu lesson about repentance and forgiveness. It was awesome! My favorite part of the hike was when half the girls were blindfolded and had to depend on the others to guide them. I loved seeing the girls really need to trust each other as they traversed the uneven and brushy path they were on. It was a sweet thing to see. I am so glad that I got to go on the hike with these young women and have the chance to really talk to them along the way. It was a choice experience for me!

Adrienne sharing her spiritual thought.

8.  The Music

Bro. Bogle watching the lanterns rising into
the night sky during the finale.

The choice to put music as the number eight thing I loved about camp this year is a little eclectic.  There were so many things that I wanted to include in this list, and I think that music was the best way to incorporate all of it. The theme song for our camp this year was "Happily Ever After" by Jenny Phillips. I have to admit than when I first heard that this would be our song for the year I couldn't picture it. It is a lovely song for someone to sing as a solo, but I couldn't see how it could be sung as a group song. There are just so many irregular rhythms and pacings. So I took forever before I actually started working with my ward girls to learn the song. But as our girls sang that song together I couldn't help but feel the Spirit as they sung. It was absolutely beautiful. Singing this song with my girls may have been my favorite part of camp preparation this year. We sang it several times during camp, but my favorite time was on the final night. We each were given a large lantern to light -- 100 in all, and then we let them float into the sky as we sang this song. It was absolutely gorgeous. None of my pictures adequately show just how gorgeous this was. I am totally going to do this with my family sometime. Amazing!

It wasn't just the spiritual music that I loved. I also loved hearing the 1st and 2nd ward girls sing every evening, just for the fun of it. They sang some spiritual songs, but mostly they were just fun camp songs, and it was a total joy to see how happy the girls were as they sang these songs together. I saw girls who didn't seem to ever talk at all suddenly become full of energy as they sang together. These moments really led me to love the girls of my ward and 1st ward.

The new stake camp director planned a time during the week when the girls could learn to play instruments. I will admit that when she shared this with me earlier in the spring I couldn't picture how this was going to work out. It just didn't seem very camplike to me. But she went forward with it, and it turns out that it was one of the favorite activities of camp for my girls. Laney and Savannah both were enthused with love for the ukelele, and they made plans to run to the music store downtown and buy ukeleles as soon as they got home. They are practicing their new instruments as I write. So funny, but so amazing as well!

Alexa leading the girls in a camp song one evening.

9.  The Creek

I have to admit that this may have not been the most ideal place for camp this year. In order to get to the site we had to drive down a county road that was super rocky and uneven as it went down a fairly steep hill. Then we needed to cross a field and get into four wheel drive vehicles in order to cross a creek and enter the camping area. I had visions of the trouble that could arise if there was any significant rain, causing the creek to rise and trapping us where we were with no chance for escape. But that didn't happen. The weather was ideal, and the camping area was sooo beautiful! I love that part of the Ozarks. It is only a few miles from Herman's grandpa's farm, and this forest area is just gorgeous and isolated and peaceful. 

On Tuesday morning I woke up super early, before almost anyone else in the camp. I was brushing my teeth along a tree line to the side of our camping area, and as I brushed I noticed how peaceful the creek seemed at that time of day. So I grabbed my camp chair, my scriptures, and my journal and headed to the creek to relax and study. And I loved it! This may have been the most amazing time of my entire camp experience as I sat there on the edge of this little creek, alone in my thoughts. This was the moment when I had a mini cryfest, thinking about this being Laney's last year. This was when I decided to find a way to make this camp experience a positive one for me. It was such a moving experience for me. I decided then and there that we had to move somewhere like this. Not tomorrow or anything like that. But I felt like I really wanted to live somewhere where I could find a place like this to really be alone with my thoughts so that I could really recenter myself and strengthen my relationship with my Heavenly Father. There is something about a secluded spot in nature that really makes that easier for me. I don't particularly care for the crazy drive through the backwoods to get here, but maybe there is somewhere a little closer to main roads that would offer a similar atmosphere. I don't know. I just know that I loved this place and my time to think. As I lost myself in thought that morning I wanted desperately to find a scripture to match my feelings. I looked and looked and looked and could find nothing that came close. Something told me that my best hope to find something would be in Psalms. But there are a lot of psalms, and the topical guide wasn't making things any easier. I decided to do an "inspired flip" to see where I ended up, and I ended up turning to Psalm 103.  It wasn't exactly what I thought I was looking for, but as I read the words of this psalm I thought they perfectly portrayed the feelings of my heart on that morning. I decided that it would be my personal theme for the week. I read it several times and then took a few minutes to memorize my first seminary scripture mastery verse for next year. Yea! This time at the creek was the choicest moment of my camp experience.

I have to share another moment on the creek that also was powerful to me. As I already mentioned, my back tire popped on the way to camp, and Kevin Albrecht volunteered to take the bad tire back home with him so that he could give it to Herman and get it fixed so that we could use it to head home on Friday. For some ridiculous reason I had locked my car out here in the middle of nowhere, so I needed to give Kevin the keys before he left. Most of the girls were headed to the flagpole to start the camp activities, but I ran to the creek to hand my keys to Kevin. He was at the creek area with Dave Stribling, Nadine, and a couple of young women. I saw Kevin and Dave stacking some of the bigger rocks in a little tower. It was the strangest thing. I had no idea what they were doing, but I handed him my keys and started to walk away. Then I noticed that Kevin had Nadine sit on their little rock tower so that he and Dave could give her a blessing. I don't know exactly what it was about this experience, but all of the sudden I felt like I was totally intruding. They didn't ask me to leave, but seeing them on the banks of this creek in the middle of this gorgeous nature made everything seem amazingly sacred. I didn't feel like I should be part of this event. So I tried to tiptoe my way away from the bank without causing too much noise in the rocks. Seeing these men exercise their priesthood authority in this atmosphere was amazing. I know I've said amazing too many times already in this post, but it is the best way to describe it. Loved this moment!

10. My Insight Into ME

Me after a mud bath at the cave.

This week at camp I was able to really think a lot about who I was as a person. In the beginning of the week I felt lost and unneeded. I couldn't find my place while I was at camp. I began to see that I was a person who would rise to the occasion whenever I was called to serve. But whenever I didn't have a specific duty I just couldn't find myself. I needed a purpose and I needed direction. Years ago, when I was younger, I would have sat in the background and done nothing, feeling horrible the whole time for not participating. I still find myself as a back-of-the-room sort of person when I am in a class and not teaching or leading in some way. I just don't think that anyone really cares to hear from me all that much. I'm sure this is some holdover from the insecurities of my youth. Well, after a day and a half of feeling a bit lost due to the changed role I found myself in at camp, I decided that I needed to change things. As I threw myself into activities with the girls I began to see some natural talents come through. I think I can be a little fun. I think. At least I found that I could have a lot of fun while I was hanging out with the young women. I'm never going to be the life of the party or the person who everyone looks to in the group. But I did find that I could find ways to touch some of the girls I interacted with. Sister Peterson had us do this activity at the beginning of camp where we needed to pair up with someone and share some experiences with them. A girl who was serving as her assistant ward camp director camp to pair up with me. She had been a young woman in the years that I served as the stake camp director, and as she spoke with me she told me how much of a difference I had made in her life. I had no idea that the things I had done and said to her mattered that much. It was a turning point for me in the week as I realized that I COULD make a difference for these young women. I wasn't in charge, but I would be interacting with these young women in a more personal way because I had more time to do it this year. I decided to try to be there when I was needed. I'm so glad that I had the opportunities to be with the girls that I had. I have always thought that I was not particularly talented compared to the other ladies around me. I always kind of thought that I was the person people would point to when they talked about people who are called because they have something that they need to learn rather than being called because they have something to give. But that's not true. I do have something to offer. I just need to arise and shine forth so that I have the chance to share something that someone else is looking for. I was so glad to begin to see this in myself this year at camp.

I am so glad to have come to camp this year. It was a great experience for me. I don't know if I'll have the opportunity to come again next year. It will seem strange to not come after ten years of coming each summer. But I'll be ready, whatever comes my way. I have a true testimony of the power of Girls Camp to change lives. It is such a blessing to be a part of such a wonderful church program!

I have the best husband in the world! He came to visit
me and bring me a new tire in the middle of camp.
And he didn't even complain that I was stinky after
half a week with no showers!

And here's my psalm for the week:

Psalm 103

David exhorts the Saints to bless the Lord for his mercy—The Lord is merciful unto those who keep his commandments.

A Psalm of David.

 1 Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name.

 2 Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:

 3 Who ^aforgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy ^bdiseases;

 4 Who ^aredeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies;

 5 Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the ^aeagle’s.

 6 The Lord executeth righteousness and judgment for all that are oppressed.

 7 He made known his ways unto Moses, his acts unto the children of Israel.

 8 The ^aLord is ^bmerciful and gracious, slow to ^canger, and plenteous in mercy.

 9 He will not always chide: neither will he keep his ^aanger for ever.

 10 He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.

 11 For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him.

 12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.

 13 Like as a father ^apitieth his ^bchildren, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him.

 14 For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are ^adust.

 15 As for man, his days are as grass: as a flower of the field, so he flourisheth.

 16 For the wind passeth over it, and it is gone; and the place thereof shall know it no more.

 17 But the ^amercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children’s children;

 18 To such as keep his covenant, and to those that remember his commandments to do them.

 19 The Lord hath prepared his throne in the heavens; and his kingdom ruleth over all.

 20 Bless the Lord, ye his angels, that excel in strength, that do his commandments, hearkening unto the voice of his word.

 21 Bless ye the Lord, all ye his hosts; ye ministers of his, that do his ^apleasure.

 22 Bless the Lord, all his works in all places of his dominion: bless the Lord, O my soul. 

Do As I Say, Not as I Do

Ever since I was a young driver I have always known this rule:

Don't Pick Up Hitchhikers!!!

Common sense. Right? I mean everyone knows that a hitchhiker could be some deranged lunatic, right?

Like an escaped convict

Or an ax murderer

Or this guy

Scary.

And you know what happens if you pick up some random guy on the side of the road.

Chaos

And a complete breakdown in the fiber of society

The world as we know it would cease to exist.

So it was a bit strange that I found myself in the circumstances I found myself today. Today was Library Day for the Blau crew, our designated day to head to the library to grab some summer reading fun. It is always a big production because there are seven kids with varying tastes. Luckily it gets easier and easier as the kids get older. And today was easier than most days because Hyrum is away at Cub Scout day camp, and Spencer decided to stay home since he just wanted to renew his Beatles book. So with two less kids in the crew we headed to the library and had a fairly low key experience. No one made too much noise or decided to rearrange the shelves of books. Success! But as we were going through the somewhat crazy process of checking out a man was leaving the library after getting his books and spending some time on the internet. He was a nice young man who looked to be about in his mid to late twenties, and he was making conversation with the librarian. As he walked out he mentioned that he was walking all the way to Dixon. Dixon? Seriously? Dixon was like twenty miles away, mostly on fairly busy highways with some spots having very little walk room. As we stared at him in shock he explained to all of us that he had walked all the way here, so it was no problem walking all the way back. He said that he had to do it because he needed to finish his work for college. None of this was said with any amount of anxiety or with any hope that any of us would do anything for him. He was just stating the facts.

We let him go. And I felt terrible. My head was telling me that I should not volunteer to drive strangers through the countryside. Even if it was the middle of the day. I don't watch horror movies, but I've read enough synopses to know what happens to old ladies when they pick up guys on the side of the road. Spoiler alert: It usually doesn't end up so good for the ladies. But even as my head was telling me this, my heart was telling me that I needed to run out and help this guy. I had a fairly open schedule and the ability to make the drive. Was I seriously going to sit by and let some guy walk FOUR hours to get home? I just couldn't do it. The man seemed friendly and hard working. I needed to help him. 

I told myself that I would stop and offer to help if I passed him on the way home. We finished getting our books and signing everyone up for the summer reading program. Then we loaded up the car and made a game plan. Laney had invited a lady with several young children to come by this afternoon so that her kids could play with our younger kids, so I planned on dropping Laney and the younger kiddos off at the house. Savannah would stay with me so that I wasn't alone with the guy. She was going to hold onto her cell phone and have it at the ready in case she needed to call 911 super fast and get us some help if things went sour. And then we were going to take this young man home. The plan was made, so the Blau caravan headed home.

We were headed up Frog Hill in Waynesville and we were very close to Mr. Frog when we spotted the walker. He wasn't even attempting to hitch a ride. He just had his backpack on and his head down as he headed up the hill. Luckily for some reason the traffic was unusually slow, so there was no one behind me. I pulled off to the side and asked him if he wanted a ride. He did. Unfortunately on Frog Hill there is no median on the way heading up the hill. If I were on the opposite side of the highway I could have nicely pulled over and had him jump in. But on our side we were still sticking into the lanes of traffic. I pulled over as much as I could, but that made up jammed into the protective guardrails, so he had quite the devil of a time trying to squeeze into the van. But he made it, and after dropping off everyone but Savannah we were on our way.

Now here's where things could get tricky. I am super, super shy and could be close to the world's worst conversationalist. What in the world was I going to say to this guy? Luckily he saved the day because he was a talker. And man ... what an amazing story he had to tell. He was a young man who had grown up in a gang infested neighborhood in New Orleans, LA. Or Nawlons as he pronounced it for the whole conversation. It took me forever to realize where he was talking about. I thought he was talking about some super small town in Louisiana, and I was feeling shocked to hear how rampant crime was in such a small town. When I realized it was New Orleans, that made more sense. Growing up in such a dangerous environment, this young man decided that he was going to do whatever it would take to make sure and get an education, so he beat his neighborhood trends and got his high school degree and entered the army. He served for several years in the army with two tours in Afghanistan. Then he decided to get out of the military and get an advanced degree through one of the many programs offered in our area. A lot of the stuff he could do online, but there are some things that he needed to do in person because his degree was in kinesiology. His truck was currently not running, but he didn't want to miss any of his school, so he woke up super early today and walked all the way to Waynesville from his house outside of Dixon. He is all by himself with no family, and he didn't want to pay a taxi $50 for the trip, so he just decided to make it happen on his own. He said that he only has to do that once or twice a week, so it wasn't that big of a deal. Not that big of a deal? Really? I was sitting there as he spoke with my mouth open half the time. He was amazing! As he talked about his life and his hopes for the future I told him that he totally needed to write a book about it. It sounded like a Lifetime movie waiting to happen. He said that it hurt too much when he thought about his past, but I explained how much his story would mean to someone who was in a similar difficult situation. It would mean a lot to them to see that someone else had lived like that and was able to overcome. I'm not sure if he bought my words, but I hope so. Others need to hear his story. What an inspiring story of picking yourself up and making the most of your life, no matter what circumstances you find yourself in!

After an enjoyable ride (much faster than his four hour walk) I dropped him off at his house. He gave me a hug, and thanked me, telling me that he would find some way to repay me in the future. I told him not to worry about it and instead to find a way to pay it forward and help someone else in need sometime. It felt so good to have been able to help someone. And -- Bonus! -- I didn't end up dead on the side of the road. So it was a good afternoon.

So this was an inspiring experience for me. But for my kids who are currently driving and those who will be driving soon, the rule still stands --

Don't Pick Up Hitchhikers!!!