JoJo's Big Day

I love this picture!

I am determined to catch up my blogging this week, so here is my third blog of the weekend. Enjoy!

Yesterday it was a blessing to see JoJo take a big step in his life as he headed into the waters of baptism and became an official member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. In our church we believe that children become accountable when they turn eight years old. That means that they are able to understand exactly what it is that they are agreeing to do, having the full ability to know the difference between right and wrong before making the commitment to follow Jesus Christ and his teachings. It has always amazed me how perfect this age is for this decision. With each one of the kids (except for maybe Hyrum) I have always wondered if they were ready to make this decision. Of course I think it is the right thing to do, but I really want for them to choose to be baptized because they think it is right for them. Can you really make such a decision at such a young age? Some might say no, but I have found that as each of my children has turned eight they have an almost magical growth in understanding and ability. It is amazing to behold. JoJo was no different. He can be a bit squirrelly at times. I love him for his goofiness. I wondered if he would take something like baptism all that seriously since he is rarely serious about anything at all. But as he prepared for the ceremony yesterday he was perfectly serious and excited in his JoJo way. 

Our bishop decided that he wants for us to start combining youth baptisms and having one day a month set aside for them instead of having each individual family planning their own extravaganza. We were asked to combine with another family from our ward. I'll admit that when I first heard this I was not so happy about the change. I realize in areas where there are a lot more members like Utah this is the norm, but it is not that way here. All of our kids have had their own special day. I wanted for JoJo to have his own special day as well. But we wanted to support the bishop, and we felt like we would be a good family to experiment with as he attempted this change. I had my doubts and my concerns, but it actually turned out very nice. There will need to be some refinements to the process in the future, but I thought that JoJo was still able to have a lovely day, even though he shared the day with another.

I hate the way I look in this picture,
but at least I have one of Herman and me
with JoJo before the ceremony.

The program was super sweet. JoJo was baptized with a boy named Michael Howard, and we divided program responsibilities between our two families. We had a nice showing for the program even though we didn't really advertise it at all. I was grateful for the support from our family. My parents are always super good to come and support their grandchildren, even though they don't necessarily believe the same things we do. I love that. They are an example of the sort of unwavering support I want to (and WILL) offer to my children as they grow up and have families of their own. It was kind of cool this time around because my brother Ryan is planning on getting baptized himself in a few weeks. Crazy! I would have never expected that to happen, but he has been meeting with the missionaries a lot, and he wants to take this step in his life. My parents were watching everything with different eyes, thinking of what Ryan will be doing soon. Very neat! 

After the baptism Katie, Abigail, and Elisabeth helped
everyone grab a paper and write a nice note to JoJo and Michael
for their baptism. I loved some of those notes!

JoJo asked Hyrum to give a talk about the Holy Ghost before he was confirmed, and this was so PRECIOUS. I wish I could have recorded it. Hyrum is such a sweet spirit. He has such a love for the gospel and a sweet understanding of the gospel. When he gets up in church and bears his testimony is is just adorable. He doesn't just say the same rehearsed speech. He really thinks about his words and tries to apply lessons that he has learned in his life. It can be a bit stressful because you never know what will come out of his mouth, but it is always super sweet. When he got in front of the group he stopped and started several times before he got his bearing. Then he delivered the sweetest little message. It was sweet, not because it was polished and perfect, but because it was from the heart. I absolutely loved it. What a sweet, sweet brother he is for JoJo.

After everything was over I came to talk to my parents and found my mom crying. She said that she just saw me talking to Ryan during the program, and it made her happy to see how much Ryan has changed since he attended the last baptism which was Katie's four years ago. I would say that she was feeling the Spirit at that moment. I don't know if she recognized that at all, but I could see it, and I thought that was awesome to behold. Heavenly Father truly is a wonderful and all-powerful God. His miracles are real.

After the program we headed to Chopstix for a family celebration. I loved seeing all of us together as we ate. Herman had lots of his family members in attendance and my parents and Ryan were there as well. I wish we got together like this more often. I love seeing Herman interact with his siblings. I wish my siblings would get together like they do. They are so close, and I love that. I hope that our children are that way as they grow and move away from home. And I really, really love seeing all the cousins together. We make a raucous group. Family is lovely!

JoJo is such a ham!

So it was a wonderful day for my sweet little JoJo. He'll always be JoJo to me. I have a hard time calling him Joseph. I hope he'll forgive me when he is a grown man. Today it was so sweet to see JoJo get ready for church. I could tell that he was taking his new covenants seriously. He was one of the first people up and dressed for church. Hyrum actually beat him, but that isn't a fair comparison because Hyrum told me that he just slept in his church suit so that he would be all ready to go when he woke up. Hyrum has always been my most practical child, even if his plan was a bit ridiculous. But JoJo never gets ready for church early. He waits until the last minute always. Today he was ready (with shoes on!) an hour before anyone else. I loved watching him in church as he really listened to all the talks and followed along in the music. It was clear to me that he had been ready to make this decision for his life. I love the gospel, and I love my sweet children. I am glad that they will be with me forever. Life is good!

Is the Universe Trying to Tell Us Something?

So today after JoJo's baptism (post on that coming soon) we headed to Chopstix for a family lunch celebration. It was lovely. Sadly, the people at Chopstix know us very well. Minsy seems to think that one of the waitresses is her long lost sister, and they always know our exact drink order. What can I say? We love to eat at Chopstix, or as Minsy calls it ... China. 

Well, after the lunch we grabbed a fortune cookie on the way out the door. Herman and I drove separately, but as he was heading to his truck he called out to me and said, "Melissa, look. I think I got the worse fortune ever." So he brought it over to show it to me and it said:

That is a pretty bad one for a guy like Herman who is always striving to do better and dominate in business and whatever he puts his mind to doing. But, oh well. It's just a cookie fortune, right?

Then as I got into the van I opened up my cookie, and what did I find inside?

I kid you not. Maybe we have something we need to learn here. 

Trust in the Lord With All Thine Heart ...

***I started this post the day that Laney left on her mission, and I just couldn't get myself to finish it until today. It still feels a bit inadequate to what I want to say, but it'll do for now.**

Herman told me today that I am a classic "late crier." I never manage to get emotional in the midst of what should be an emotional moment. It is only afterwards that I lose it. I thought I was handling things pretty well as we prepared to send Laney off on an 18 month mission to the Chile Concepcion Mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I was a blubbering mess when Laney left for college in September, but this time around I felt overwhelmingly calm. I thought that maybe I had just gotten used to the parting after spending this semester without Laney. Or maybe it was different because this time I was sending Laney off to serve the Lord as a missionary. Whatever the reason, I managed to make it all the way through Laney's hugs and goodbyes as she headed to the security lines at the airport to begin her journey. Laney was crying. Herman was crying. I was totally dry-eyed. I lasted until she made it to the x-ray machines and then the tears started flowing. There are times that I really hate the modern TSA security measures. I sometimes wish for the days when we could have walked her all the way to her gate to see her on the plane. Instead we are made to feel like common criminals, separated from our family by a line of uniformed guards eyeing us with distrust because we won't just move along. But I digress. It was just hard to see her moving slowly further from my field of vision, knowing that I would not see her again for 18 months.

The truth is ... it is a sacrifice to send Laney to serve this mission. It is hard. So I cried.

Here are just a couple of the things we sacrifice as Laney serves:

1. Easy Phone Access

A lot of people are surprised to hear that we are unable to have instant phone contact with Laney while she is away on her mission, but it's true. It really is. She needs to have the opportunity to totally dedicate herself to serving the Lord, and as she does this she separates herself from her home life for these 18 months. We still get to communicate, just not every day. She will have the chance to call us on Mother's Day and Christmas, but other than that we will depend on letters and emails to keep the lines of communication open. Is this going to be hard? Oh yeah. I was one of those parents who always wanted to know what was going on in Laney's life every single day that she was in college. We texted. We called on the phone. We emailed. We facebooked. We were always communicating, even while she was away from home. This will be a new situation for us. I trust that she will be protected and happy, so I don't have to know every single daily activity. Still, I admit that there are times that I have this urge to grab the phone and call her. Instead, I just sit down and write out an email or a letter. It isn't an immediately gratifying action, but I think that we will cherish these communications in the future.

2. Family Memories

It is still strange to celebrate birthdays and holidays and not have Laney here. We have already gotten a bit used to this while she was away at college, but on those days when we were celebrating something we always made sure to call Laney and let her participate long distance over the phone. It will be super strange to go on vacation next summer and not have her as part of our entourage. Since I have waited forever to finish this we have already had almost two weeks without Laney here at home, and we got to experience our first Christmas with her away. I'll admit that we missed her a bunch. She is our Christmas fanatic, and she is always the one who gets super excited about our family traditions. The other kids didn't seem as enthusiastic without her cheering in the background. We will miss her as we celebrate anything during the next eighteen months. I really, REALLY wanted to compensate for this loss by purchasing a Muppet Whatnot from FAO Schwartz. Instead of Laney sitting at the table or heading on vacation with us, we would just let her Muppet replacement sit in her place. I even designed it and stuck it in my shopping cart. Check it out:

Isn't it ADORABLE????

It would have been perfect, but Herman thought that this would just be creepy. I don't know. I like it. There is still time. Maybe I can talk him into it before the mission is over. We could do this for all of our kids as they leave the house. Herman thinks it might be a little too Norman Bates like. We'll see. Don't worry little Muppet Laney. I'll find a way to make you mine. I will.

3. Sibling Time

When Laney came home at the end of her fall semester I heard Savannah and her in the living room laughing and laughing and laughing as they talked. I had not heard Savannah laugh like that since the day Laney left for college. It isn't that Savannah has been weeping and sulking for four months. She hasn't. She's enjoyed her time with the rest of us. But she and Laney have such a special bond, and she just doesn't laugh or talk the same way with anyone else. When they went to high school together they talked about how they would pass each other in the hall and reach out to link their pinkies for just a second before passing on. I thought that was just wonderful. I never realize how much they need each other until they are apart. They'll be apart for a long time now. And it isn't just Savannah. Laney has a special relationship with each of her brothers and sisters, and those relationships will change now. Minsy especially loves her "Mamie", and she can't quite understand that she'll be gone for so long. And while Laney serves Minsy will grow a ton, both intellectually and physically. She'll be a different girl when Laney returns, and Laney will miss some of that growth.

4. Laney Time

There are too many things to mention that I will miss about Laney herself as she is in Chile serving. Some of these things are things that I have already been dealing with while she was away at college, but now I'll just have to wait 18 months to get my "Laney fix." The Christmas carols in August. The squealing when something exciting happens in her life. Her excitement over Korean television dramas. Seeing her sit in her room, listening to uplifting music, and she marked favorite passages in her scriptures. Her fun facebook and blog posts. Hearing her beautiful singing voice. Her yummy cookies. Lots of things. I will miss those every day moments that aren't necessarily epic by themselves, but together they string memories that are priceless. I am sacrificing those every day moments now as she serves the people of Chile until June 2015. My loss will be their gain.

So, yes ... it will be a sacrifice as Laney serves a mission. And it does make me cry sometimes, although I'm getting better. It's more of a dull ache these days.

But ...

It is worth it. It is worth it because I can't think of a better place for Laney to be at this time in her life. She has been living for this moment her entire life. She is driven to serve others. She will be an amazing missionary. I could never take that opportunity away from her, and I could never take that opportunity away from the people of Chile. They deserve to know her, and they deserve the chance to hear the message of the gospel of Jesus Christ that she is there to deliver. How could I keep them from that just so I could spend a few extra moments with Laney at home? Twenty-three years ago I was introduced to two young women who made the same sacrifice that Laney is making today. They didn't get called to serve anywhere nearly as cool-sounding as Chile Concepcion. They got called to the Oklahoma Tulsa Mission. But they came and served in Springfield, MO while I was in college, and they taught me the message of the gospel. They changed the entire direction of my life, and for that I will be eternally grateful. I love MY missionaries, Amy Heckmann Zenger (who I still talk with) and Stacy Gomm (who I cannot find. Does anyone know her now???). I am who I am today in part because of them. There are people in Chile who are just like I was ... lost. They need to know who they are, where they came from, and where they are going. Laney can help them find the answers to these questions. I will sacrifice whatever it takes to give them the same happiness that I have in my life. The gospel is true. I know it. I love it. I live it.

Laney has a favorite scripture, and it is the scripture that she has chosen as her missionary scripture. It is from Proverbs 3: 5-6:

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. 

So that will be my scripture for this time as well. I can trust that all will be okay and that this sacrifice will be worth it in the end. I will choose to trust in the Lord, and He WILL direct my paths and Laney's paths for the next eighteen months and forever.

Still ... it's okay to be a bit sad once in a while as Laney is away from home. Right before we left to take her to the airport I was frantically trying to get together some appropriate music for her to have while she was serving. My computer was being a bit wonky, so I was having to listen to snippets of each song to make sure that I was actually copying a real song and not just dead air. As I listened to the music, a song from one of Laney's EFY CDs came up. It is a song that she would often sing as she worked in her room, and it makes me think of her every time I hear it. It made me cry as I thought about her leaving us, but I thought it was a perfect song to show exactly why we choose to sacrifice so much in the next few months. It is why Laney chooses to serve, and it is why I choose to support her however I can. We believe.

You can follow Laney's missionary journey by following her blog HERE. She's an excellent writer!

Sometimes You Just Wonder ...

Today was the last Sunday before Laney leaves for her mission. It still has not hit me yet. I don't know why it is so close and yet seems so far away, but it does. It just seems so natural to me ... like, of course she is leaving for Mexico City in three days. What else would she be doing? I didn't feel the same way when she left for college. Then I felt like a bit of an emotional wreck as each day brought us closer to her departure. It seems like I should be feeling similar feelings now. After all, she's going to be heading out of the country for eighteen months ... eighteen months that I will have limited contact with her. She'll send an email once a week, and I get a phone call on Mother's Days and Christmas. That's it. I should be freaking out. This nervous mom should be freaking out. But I'm not. It just feels right.

Well, today as she stood before our congregation and spoke to us I was floored by the woman she has become. She was so poised and calm as she gave her mission farewell talk. I thought she did better than many adults as she shared some of the experiences she has had in the last four months and how they have prepared her for serving a full time mission. She spoke with power as she bore testimony of several principles of the gospel, and she was able to easily relate common experiences to greater gospel ideas. She is well prepared for serving the Lord for the next eighteen months. She has learned how to stay positive, even in the face of very trying circumstances. I am sure that as she heads to Chile and experiences the normal difficulties of trying to share the gospel with a sometimes unwilling public and adds to that the difficulty of having to do this in a foreign language, she will find that her trials of the past are probably not as difficult as they seemed to be. But because she has learned the basic principles of how to handle such situations, she will have the tools she needs to find success and happiness as she serves. It will be inspiring to hear her experiences as she shares them with us.

As she spoke today I sat in wonder, trying to imagine how such a poised and intelligent young woman came from my parenting. I don't imagine myself to be a master parent. I don't imagine myself to be crazily rigid or demanding. In fact, I am a bit wary of any parent who believes that they possess magical perfection when it comes to parenting. But somehow, despite all odds, Laney has grown into such a confident and outgoing young woman. She is able to speak in front of large gatherings without obvious nerves. She is able to create powerful and moving talks where she does not read a prepared text, but instead she relies on the Spirit to guide her words. I don't think that this occurred because of tremendous drilling instruction by her parents. I don't think I have done much to help her in this process. Instead, I think that she is a perfect example of how Heavenly Father works. We just do the best we can, even with all of our deficiencies, and the Savior makes up the difference. I can see this in Laney. I am grateful for such a plan that allows our growth while at the same time allowing us to see the powerful of a loving Heavenly Father and Savior in our personal lives. What a blessing!

Three more crazy days of preparation until Laney leaves us for Mexico City. It's going to be a wild few days, but we'll be prepared ... eventually. Stay tuned for more news of Laney's exciting departure!

The Book Thief

I don't often stick movie thoughts on this blog because ... well, let's face it ... I don't see a lot of movies, and most of the movies I see are fluff. Good fluff, but fluff nonetheless. They aren't worth much time writing anything about. But I have to write about this one today. I have to.

Yesterday I finally got the chance to see The Book Thief. It has been out for a few weeks, but it isn't the type of movie that gets wide release or lots of advertising. In fact, we had to drive all the way to St. Louis to see it at this great movie theater that shows lots of independent and lesser known movies. I love the Plaza Frontenac theater! Why can't there be more theaters like this in our area? People will come. If you build it ... people will come.

I was a latecomer to The Book Thief fandom. It has been around for awhile. It is a popular book club and high school lit reading choice. But it was about Germany and Nazis and people dying and sad stuff ... and generally I shy away from sad books. I like happy books. This one seemed like something I would have trouble enjoying. But I read it last month and fell in love immediately. Yes, it is a sad story. But it is so much more. It made me feel so much and need to know so much that I thought about it constantly after the final page closed. When I found out that this movie was being released in November I knew I had to see it, even if I had to drive to St. Louis to find a theater cool enough to play it. Yesterday Herman and I drove Laney to the airport so that she could return back to college for her last two weeks of classes (tears), and we had the chance to see this movie before heading back home.

The theater was packed. I am used to that for blockbusters in their first week of release, but you don't generally see that in lesser known movies. It was neat to see this. In the crowd there were A LOT of older people. A lot. I got the impression that these were tons of ladies from book groups and their spouses. There were also quite a few college students on dates. That's a heavy date movie, but it's pretty impressive to choose this movie as your date movie, I think. Then there was Herman and me. I don't know what group we fit into. I guess the college kids probably would have lumped us into the "old person" category. Sweet! 

As for the movie ... it was WONDERFUL! It didn't quite match up to the book, but it was still a pretty good adaptation. I don't think that any movie can equal the personal experience a reader gets when they read a book. I formed my own impressions of how certain scenes would play out, and the movie didn't quite look as I imagined things, but it was close enough that I was thoroughly enraptured by the experience. There were several parts of the book that were missing from the movie. Some of the back story to explain why Hans and Rosa would take in Max and the military experiences of Hans were missing. The neat experiences involving the actual book thieving were changed or altered in some ways. I especially missed Frau Holtzapfel and her side story. And one of my favorite parts of the book ... the sweet little story that Max writes for Liesl ... was totally changed for the movie. I didn't like that. It didn't end up quite as sweet. I also thought that the movie tried to make things a little less sad. The ending was changed a bit. I didn't think that they needed to do that. We're big kids. We can handle the raw sadness of those last scenes. We can. 

Overall I think that the movie had a hard time capturing some of the wonder I felt as I read. The book was full of these tiny little experiences involving this small group of people from this German neighborhood. They were just small moments. But those moments strung together created a story that powerfully captured the spirit of a people who were trapped by their own fears in some ways and yet able to live above those fears. In the midst of so much tragedy there was joy and happiness. I loved that about the book. The movie shows this to a certain extent, but it doesn't quite reach the level of the book. 

But ...

At the end of the movie all we could do was sit there. The entire theater sat frozen as the credits rolled. It is the first time that I have ever been in a movie theater and had the whole group erupt in applause. Magical. This was a powerful movie. Sure, it didn't quite live up to the book, but that was a pretty high goal. What we watched was beautiful and powerful. It made us think. I loved that. Herman had not read the book, so he didn't have all the expectations that I had. He loved the movie a lot. The acting was top notch. The actors playing Liesl and Rudy were just kids, and their performances were pretty good ... not Oscar worthy, but pretty good. My favorite actor in the movie was Geoffrey Rush. By far. But his character, Hans, was my favorite in the book as well. I thought he played this character perfectly ... exactly as I imagined him. 

As we walked out of the theater Herman and I felt a bit shell shocked. I turned to him and said, "We need to go find something happy to do now." We were feeling a bit melancholy after such a heavy film. We found the perfect antidote to our heavy hearts ... chocolate. We headed to Whole Foods and grabbed a giant turtle brownie to wipe everything away. Chocolate ... it heals all wounds. Truly.

So go see this movie if you have the opportunity. It is worth your time. Even better, check out the book if you haven't read it yet. It has definitely been one of my favorites of the year. But bring along some chocolate. You're gonna need it.

PS ... Just for kicks I included my goodreads review of the book because I loved it so much. Enjoy!

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I have hated the words and
I have loved them,
and I hope I have made them right.

So ... The Book Thief. What more can I say about this book that has not already been said? There are thousands and thousands of reviews of this book on goodreads and amazon. Book clubs discuss it. High school and college students dissect its inner meaning. What more do I have to add?

Not much.

All I can do is just share a tiny portion of the overpowering thoughts that are running through my head right now.

I avoided this book for a long time. A long, long time. I knew it was going to deal with Germany during World War II. I knew people were going to suffer. I knew people were going to die. I don't like those kinds of books. Not at all. I need total and complete happiness at the end of the books I read. If I want the sadness of reality I just turn on the news. But, having said that, this book just wouldn't leave me alone. It kept calling out to me, demanding to be read ... so finally, I listened. And it has been an absolutely powerful experience. Earth moving, gravity stopping, overwhelming. Perfect. I loved it. There will always be a spot in my heart for this book.

The Book Thief is a story of contrasts:

Love in the midst of cursings.
Courage in the midst of cowardice.
Happiness in the midst of sorrow.
Strength in the midst of weakness.
Humor in the midst of tragedy.
Life in the midst of death.

Through it all is the experience of a foster child in World War II Germany, a girl with a gift for words and a growing understanding of the complexity of the world in which she lives. The cast of this story is absolutely wonderful. Ilsa, Max, Rosa, Rudy (LOVE HIM!), Hans (SUPER LOVE HIM!), and even Frau Holtzapfel. So wonderful! They provide a richness to this story of ordinary people forced into extraordinary circumstances. No amount of description I offer in this review will do any of them justice. The book just needs to be read in order to understand just how marvelous they are.

Interestingly enough, as I first read this novel I didn't feel a huge drive to read it all the time. I could pick it up and put it down without thinking much about it. It was a collection of seemingly simple moments in the lives of these characters. Yes, the moments were interesting, but nothing really pulled me into the story completely. But, this book ended up being for me much as a cherished relationship. At first you pass on the street, exchanging pleasantries. Soon there are conversations. Life happens, and before you know it, you realize that this person means the world to you. It wasn't one event that created this powerful friendship. It was a collection of events. That is how I experienced this book. Before I knew what hit me I realized how much I cared about these characters ... how much I did not want for them to leave ... ever.

That is all I can say, realizing that my meager words cannot do this book justice. I think I have to agree with the narrator of this book, Death (seems like a weird choice, but it works), when he says, "I am haunted by humans." Few words, so much meaning. I will be thinking about the events of this story for a long, long time. Five huge stars!