JoJo's Big Day

I love this picture!

I am determined to catch up my blogging this week, so here is my third blog of the weekend. Enjoy!

Yesterday it was a blessing to see JoJo take a big step in his life as he headed into the waters of baptism and became an official member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. In our church we believe that children become accountable when they turn eight years old. That means that they are able to understand exactly what it is that they are agreeing to do, having the full ability to know the difference between right and wrong before making the commitment to follow Jesus Christ and his teachings. It has always amazed me how perfect this age is for this decision. With each one of the kids (except for maybe Hyrum) I have always wondered if they were ready to make this decision. Of course I think it is the right thing to do, but I really want for them to choose to be baptized because they think it is right for them. Can you really make such a decision at such a young age? Some might say no, but I have found that as each of my children has turned eight they have an almost magical growth in understanding and ability. It is amazing to behold. JoJo was no different. He can be a bit squirrelly at times. I love him for his goofiness. I wondered if he would take something like baptism all that seriously since he is rarely serious about anything at all. But as he prepared for the ceremony yesterday he was perfectly serious and excited in his JoJo way. 

Our bishop decided that he wants for us to start combining youth baptisms and having one day a month set aside for them instead of having each individual family planning their own extravaganza. We were asked to combine with another family from our ward. I'll admit that when I first heard this I was not so happy about the change. I realize in areas where there are a lot more members like Utah this is the norm, but it is not that way here. All of our kids have had their own special day. I wanted for JoJo to have his own special day as well. But we wanted to support the bishop, and we felt like we would be a good family to experiment with as he attempted this change. I had my doubts and my concerns, but it actually turned out very nice. There will need to be some refinements to the process in the future, but I thought that JoJo was still able to have a lovely day, even though he shared the day with another.

I hate the way I look in this picture,
but at least I have one of Herman and me
with JoJo before the ceremony.

The program was super sweet. JoJo was baptized with a boy named Michael Howard, and we divided program responsibilities between our two families. We had a nice showing for the program even though we didn't really advertise it at all. I was grateful for the support from our family. My parents are always super good to come and support their grandchildren, even though they don't necessarily believe the same things we do. I love that. They are an example of the sort of unwavering support I want to (and WILL) offer to my children as they grow up and have families of their own. It was kind of cool this time around because my brother Ryan is planning on getting baptized himself in a few weeks. Crazy! I would have never expected that to happen, but he has been meeting with the missionaries a lot, and he wants to take this step in his life. My parents were watching everything with different eyes, thinking of what Ryan will be doing soon. Very neat! 

After the baptism Katie, Abigail, and Elisabeth helped
everyone grab a paper and write a nice note to JoJo and Michael
for their baptism. I loved some of those notes!

JoJo asked Hyrum to give a talk about the Holy Ghost before he was confirmed, and this was so PRECIOUS. I wish I could have recorded it. Hyrum is such a sweet spirit. He has such a love for the gospel and a sweet understanding of the gospel. When he gets up in church and bears his testimony is is just adorable. He doesn't just say the same rehearsed speech. He really thinks about his words and tries to apply lessons that he has learned in his life. It can be a bit stressful because you never know what will come out of his mouth, but it is always super sweet. When he got in front of the group he stopped and started several times before he got his bearing. Then he delivered the sweetest little message. It was sweet, not because it was polished and perfect, but because it was from the heart. I absolutely loved it. What a sweet, sweet brother he is for JoJo.

After everything was over I came to talk to my parents and found my mom crying. She said that she just saw me talking to Ryan during the program, and it made her happy to see how much Ryan has changed since he attended the last baptism which was Katie's four years ago. I would say that she was feeling the Spirit at that moment. I don't know if she recognized that at all, but I could see it, and I thought that was awesome to behold. Heavenly Father truly is a wonderful and all-powerful God. His miracles are real.

After the program we headed to Chopstix for a family celebration. I loved seeing all of us together as we ate. Herman had lots of his family members in attendance and my parents and Ryan were there as well. I wish we got together like this more often. I love seeing Herman interact with his siblings. I wish my siblings would get together like they do. They are so close, and I love that. I hope that our children are that way as they grow and move away from home. And I really, really love seeing all the cousins together. We make a raucous group. Family is lovely!

JoJo is such a ham!

So it was a wonderful day for my sweet little JoJo. He'll always be JoJo to me. I have a hard time calling him Joseph. I hope he'll forgive me when he is a grown man. Today it was so sweet to see JoJo get ready for church. I could tell that he was taking his new covenants seriously. He was one of the first people up and dressed for church. Hyrum actually beat him, but that isn't a fair comparison because Hyrum told me that he just slept in his church suit so that he would be all ready to go when he woke up. Hyrum has always been my most practical child, even if his plan was a bit ridiculous. But JoJo never gets ready for church early. He waits until the last minute always. Today he was ready (with shoes on!) an hour before anyone else. I loved watching him in church as he really listened to all the talks and followed along in the music. It was clear to me that he had been ready to make this decision for his life. I love the gospel, and I love my sweet children. I am glad that they will be with me forever. Life is good!

Is the Universe Trying to Tell Us Something?

So today after JoJo's baptism (post on that coming soon) we headed to Chopstix for a family lunch celebration. It was lovely. Sadly, the people at Chopstix know us very well. Minsy seems to think that one of the waitresses is her long lost sister, and they always know our exact drink order. What can I say? We love to eat at Chopstix, or as Minsy calls it ... China. 

Well, after the lunch we grabbed a fortune cookie on the way out the door. Herman and I drove separately, but as he was heading to his truck he called out to me and said, "Melissa, look. I think I got the worse fortune ever." So he brought it over to show it to me and it said:

That is a pretty bad one for a guy like Herman who is always striving to do better and dominate in business and whatever he puts his mind to doing. But, oh well. It's just a cookie fortune, right?

Then as I got into the van I opened up my cookie, and what did I find inside?

I kid you not. Maybe we have something we need to learn here. 

Trust in the Lord With All Thine Heart ...

***I started this post the day that Laney left on her mission, and I just couldn't get myself to finish it until today. It still feels a bit inadequate to what I want to say, but it'll do for now.**

Herman told me today that I am a classic "late crier." I never manage to get emotional in the midst of what should be an emotional moment. It is only afterwards that I lose it. I thought I was handling things pretty well as we prepared to send Laney off on an 18 month mission to the Chile Concepcion Mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I was a blubbering mess when Laney left for college in September, but this time around I felt overwhelmingly calm. I thought that maybe I had just gotten used to the parting after spending this semester without Laney. Or maybe it was different because this time I was sending Laney off to serve the Lord as a missionary. Whatever the reason, I managed to make it all the way through Laney's hugs and goodbyes as she headed to the security lines at the airport to begin her journey. Laney was crying. Herman was crying. I was totally dry-eyed. I lasted until she made it to the x-ray machines and then the tears started flowing. There are times that I really hate the modern TSA security measures. I sometimes wish for the days when we could have walked her all the way to her gate to see her on the plane. Instead we are made to feel like common criminals, separated from our family by a line of uniformed guards eyeing us with distrust because we won't just move along. But I digress. It was just hard to see her moving slowly further from my field of vision, knowing that I would not see her again for 18 months.

The truth is ... it is a sacrifice to send Laney to serve this mission. It is hard. So I cried.

Here are just a couple of the things we sacrifice as Laney serves:

1. Easy Phone Access

A lot of people are surprised to hear that we are unable to have instant phone contact with Laney while she is away on her mission, but it's true. It really is. She needs to have the opportunity to totally dedicate herself to serving the Lord, and as she does this she separates herself from her home life for these 18 months. We still get to communicate, just not every day. She will have the chance to call us on Mother's Day and Christmas, but other than that we will depend on letters and emails to keep the lines of communication open. Is this going to be hard? Oh yeah. I was one of those parents who always wanted to know what was going on in Laney's life every single day that she was in college. We texted. We called on the phone. We emailed. We facebooked. We were always communicating, even while she was away from home. This will be a new situation for us. I trust that she will be protected and happy, so I don't have to know every single daily activity. Still, I admit that there are times that I have this urge to grab the phone and call her. Instead, I just sit down and write out an email or a letter. It isn't an immediately gratifying action, but I think that we will cherish these communications in the future.

2. Family Memories

It is still strange to celebrate birthdays and holidays and not have Laney here. We have already gotten a bit used to this while she was away at college, but on those days when we were celebrating something we always made sure to call Laney and let her participate long distance over the phone. It will be super strange to go on vacation next summer and not have her as part of our entourage. Since I have waited forever to finish this we have already had almost two weeks without Laney here at home, and we got to experience our first Christmas with her away. I'll admit that we missed her a bunch. She is our Christmas fanatic, and she is always the one who gets super excited about our family traditions. The other kids didn't seem as enthusiastic without her cheering in the background. We will miss her as we celebrate anything during the next eighteen months. I really, REALLY wanted to compensate for this loss by purchasing a Muppet Whatnot from FAO Schwartz. Instead of Laney sitting at the table or heading on vacation with us, we would just let her Muppet replacement sit in her place. I even designed it and stuck it in my shopping cart. Check it out:

Isn't it ADORABLE????

It would have been perfect, but Herman thought that this would just be creepy. I don't know. I like it. There is still time. Maybe I can talk him into it before the mission is over. We could do this for all of our kids as they leave the house. Herman thinks it might be a little too Norman Bates like. We'll see. Don't worry little Muppet Laney. I'll find a way to make you mine. I will.

3. Sibling Time

When Laney came home at the end of her fall semester I heard Savannah and her in the living room laughing and laughing and laughing as they talked. I had not heard Savannah laugh like that since the day Laney left for college. It isn't that Savannah has been weeping and sulking for four months. She hasn't. She's enjoyed her time with the rest of us. But she and Laney have such a special bond, and she just doesn't laugh or talk the same way with anyone else. When they went to high school together they talked about how they would pass each other in the hall and reach out to link their pinkies for just a second before passing on. I thought that was just wonderful. I never realize how much they need each other until they are apart. They'll be apart for a long time now. And it isn't just Savannah. Laney has a special relationship with each of her brothers and sisters, and those relationships will change now. Minsy especially loves her "Mamie", and she can't quite understand that she'll be gone for so long. And while Laney serves Minsy will grow a ton, both intellectually and physically. She'll be a different girl when Laney returns, and Laney will miss some of that growth.

4. Laney Time

There are too many things to mention that I will miss about Laney herself as she is in Chile serving. Some of these things are things that I have already been dealing with while she was away at college, but now I'll just have to wait 18 months to get my "Laney fix." The Christmas carols in August. The squealing when something exciting happens in her life. Her excitement over Korean television dramas. Seeing her sit in her room, listening to uplifting music, and she marked favorite passages in her scriptures. Her fun facebook and blog posts. Hearing her beautiful singing voice. Her yummy cookies. Lots of things. I will miss those every day moments that aren't necessarily epic by themselves, but together they string memories that are priceless. I am sacrificing those every day moments now as she serves the people of Chile until June 2015. My loss will be their gain.

So, yes ... it will be a sacrifice as Laney serves a mission. And it does make me cry sometimes, although I'm getting better. It's more of a dull ache these days.

But ...

It is worth it. It is worth it because I can't think of a better place for Laney to be at this time in her life. She has been living for this moment her entire life. She is driven to serve others. She will be an amazing missionary. I could never take that opportunity away from her, and I could never take that opportunity away from the people of Chile. They deserve to know her, and they deserve the chance to hear the message of the gospel of Jesus Christ that she is there to deliver. How could I keep them from that just so I could spend a few extra moments with Laney at home? Twenty-three years ago I was introduced to two young women who made the same sacrifice that Laney is making today. They didn't get called to serve anywhere nearly as cool-sounding as Chile Concepcion. They got called to the Oklahoma Tulsa Mission. But they came and served in Springfield, MO while I was in college, and they taught me the message of the gospel. They changed the entire direction of my life, and for that I will be eternally grateful. I love MY missionaries, Amy Heckmann Zenger (who I still talk with) and Stacy Gomm (who I cannot find. Does anyone know her now???). I am who I am today in part because of them. There are people in Chile who are just like I was ... lost. They need to know who they are, where they came from, and where they are going. Laney can help them find the answers to these questions. I will sacrifice whatever it takes to give them the same happiness that I have in my life. The gospel is true. I know it. I love it. I live it.

Laney has a favorite scripture, and it is the scripture that she has chosen as her missionary scripture. It is from Proverbs 3: 5-6:

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. 

So that will be my scripture for this time as well. I can trust that all will be okay and that this sacrifice will be worth it in the end. I will choose to trust in the Lord, and He WILL direct my paths and Laney's paths for the next eighteen months and forever.

Still ... it's okay to be a bit sad once in a while as Laney is away from home. Right before we left to take her to the airport I was frantically trying to get together some appropriate music for her to have while she was serving. My computer was being a bit wonky, so I was having to listen to snippets of each song to make sure that I was actually copying a real song and not just dead air. As I listened to the music, a song from one of Laney's EFY CDs came up. It is a song that she would often sing as she worked in her room, and it makes me think of her every time I hear it. It made me cry as I thought about her leaving us, but I thought it was a perfect song to show exactly why we choose to sacrifice so much in the next few months. It is why Laney chooses to serve, and it is why I choose to support her however I can. We believe.

You can follow Laney's missionary journey by following her blog HERE. She's an excellent writer!

Sometimes You Just Wonder ...

Today was the last Sunday before Laney leaves for her mission. It still has not hit me yet. I don't know why it is so close and yet seems so far away, but it does. It just seems so natural to me ... like, of course she is leaving for Mexico City in three days. What else would she be doing? I didn't feel the same way when she left for college. Then I felt like a bit of an emotional wreck as each day brought us closer to her departure. It seems like I should be feeling similar feelings now. After all, she's going to be heading out of the country for eighteen months ... eighteen months that I will have limited contact with her. She'll send an email once a week, and I get a phone call on Mother's Days and Christmas. That's it. I should be freaking out. This nervous mom should be freaking out. But I'm not. It just feels right.

Well, today as she stood before our congregation and spoke to us I was floored by the woman she has become. She was so poised and calm as she gave her mission farewell talk. I thought she did better than many adults as she shared some of the experiences she has had in the last four months and how they have prepared her for serving a full time mission. She spoke with power as she bore testimony of several principles of the gospel, and she was able to easily relate common experiences to greater gospel ideas. She is well prepared for serving the Lord for the next eighteen months. She has learned how to stay positive, even in the face of very trying circumstances. I am sure that as she heads to Chile and experiences the normal difficulties of trying to share the gospel with a sometimes unwilling public and adds to that the difficulty of having to do this in a foreign language, she will find that her trials of the past are probably not as difficult as they seemed to be. But because she has learned the basic principles of how to handle such situations, she will have the tools she needs to find success and happiness as she serves. It will be inspiring to hear her experiences as she shares them with us.

As she spoke today I sat in wonder, trying to imagine how such a poised and intelligent young woman came from my parenting. I don't imagine myself to be a master parent. I don't imagine myself to be crazily rigid or demanding. In fact, I am a bit wary of any parent who believes that they possess magical perfection when it comes to parenting. But somehow, despite all odds, Laney has grown into such a confident and outgoing young woman. She is able to speak in front of large gatherings without obvious nerves. She is able to create powerful and moving talks where she does not read a prepared text, but instead she relies on the Spirit to guide her words. I don't think that this occurred because of tremendous drilling instruction by her parents. I don't think I have done much to help her in this process. Instead, I think that she is a perfect example of how Heavenly Father works. We just do the best we can, even with all of our deficiencies, and the Savior makes up the difference. I can see this in Laney. I am grateful for such a plan that allows our growth while at the same time allowing us to see the powerful of a loving Heavenly Father and Savior in our personal lives. What a blessing!

Three more crazy days of preparation until Laney leaves us for Mexico City. It's going to be a wild few days, but we'll be prepared ... eventually. Stay tuned for more news of Laney's exciting departure!

The Book Thief

I don't often stick movie thoughts on this blog because ... well, let's face it ... I don't see a lot of movies, and most of the movies I see are fluff. Good fluff, but fluff nonetheless. They aren't worth much time writing anything about. But I have to write about this one today. I have to.

Yesterday I finally got the chance to see The Book Thief. It has been out for a few weeks, but it isn't the type of movie that gets wide release or lots of advertising. In fact, we had to drive all the way to St. Louis to see it at this great movie theater that shows lots of independent and lesser known movies. I love the Plaza Frontenac theater! Why can't there be more theaters like this in our area? People will come. If you build it ... people will come.

I was a latecomer to The Book Thief fandom. It has been around for awhile. It is a popular book club and high school lit reading choice. But it was about Germany and Nazis and people dying and sad stuff ... and generally I shy away from sad books. I like happy books. This one seemed like something I would have trouble enjoying. But I read it last month and fell in love immediately. Yes, it is a sad story. But it is so much more. It made me feel so much and need to know so much that I thought about it constantly after the final page closed. When I found out that this movie was being released in November I knew I had to see it, even if I had to drive to St. Louis to find a theater cool enough to play it. Yesterday Herman and I drove Laney to the airport so that she could return back to college for her last two weeks of classes (tears), and we had the chance to see this movie before heading back home.

The theater was packed. I am used to that for blockbusters in their first week of release, but you don't generally see that in lesser known movies. It was neat to see this. In the crowd there were A LOT of older people. A lot. I got the impression that these were tons of ladies from book groups and their spouses. There were also quite a few college students on dates. That's a heavy date movie, but it's pretty impressive to choose this movie as your date movie, I think. Then there was Herman and me. I don't know what group we fit into. I guess the college kids probably would have lumped us into the "old person" category. Sweet! 

As for the movie ... it was WONDERFUL! It didn't quite match up to the book, but it was still a pretty good adaptation. I don't think that any movie can equal the personal experience a reader gets when they read a book. I formed my own impressions of how certain scenes would play out, and the movie didn't quite look as I imagined things, but it was close enough that I was thoroughly enraptured by the experience. There were several parts of the book that were missing from the movie. Some of the back story to explain why Hans and Rosa would take in Max and the military experiences of Hans were missing. The neat experiences involving the actual book thieving were changed or altered in some ways. I especially missed Frau Holtzapfel and her side story. And one of my favorite parts of the book ... the sweet little story that Max writes for Liesl ... was totally changed for the movie. I didn't like that. It didn't end up quite as sweet. I also thought that the movie tried to make things a little less sad. The ending was changed a bit. I didn't think that they needed to do that. We're big kids. We can handle the raw sadness of those last scenes. We can. 

Overall I think that the movie had a hard time capturing some of the wonder I felt as I read. The book was full of these tiny little experiences involving this small group of people from this German neighborhood. They were just small moments. But those moments strung together created a story that powerfully captured the spirit of a people who were trapped by their own fears in some ways and yet able to live above those fears. In the midst of so much tragedy there was joy and happiness. I loved that about the book. The movie shows this to a certain extent, but it doesn't quite reach the level of the book. 

But ...

At the end of the movie all we could do was sit there. The entire theater sat frozen as the credits rolled. It is the first time that I have ever been in a movie theater and had the whole group erupt in applause. Magical. This was a powerful movie. Sure, it didn't quite live up to the book, but that was a pretty high goal. What we watched was beautiful and powerful. It made us think. I loved that. Herman had not read the book, so he didn't have all the expectations that I had. He loved the movie a lot. The acting was top notch. The actors playing Liesl and Rudy were just kids, and their performances were pretty good ... not Oscar worthy, but pretty good. My favorite actor in the movie was Geoffrey Rush. By far. But his character, Hans, was my favorite in the book as well. I thought he played this character perfectly ... exactly as I imagined him. 

As we walked out of the theater Herman and I felt a bit shell shocked. I turned to him and said, "We need to go find something happy to do now." We were feeling a bit melancholy after such a heavy film. We found the perfect antidote to our heavy hearts ... chocolate. We headed to Whole Foods and grabbed a giant turtle brownie to wipe everything away. Chocolate ... it heals all wounds. Truly.

So go see this movie if you have the opportunity. It is worth your time. Even better, check out the book if you haven't read it yet. It has definitely been one of my favorites of the year. But bring along some chocolate. You're gonna need it.

PS ... Just for kicks I included my goodreads review of the book because I loved it so much. Enjoy!

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I have hated the words and
I have loved them,
and I hope I have made them right.

So ... The Book Thief. What more can I say about this book that has not already been said? There are thousands and thousands of reviews of this book on goodreads and amazon. Book clubs discuss it. High school and college students dissect its inner meaning. What more do I have to add?

Not much.

All I can do is just share a tiny portion of the overpowering thoughts that are running through my head right now.

I avoided this book for a long time. A long, long time. I knew it was going to deal with Germany during World War II. I knew people were going to suffer. I knew people were going to die. I don't like those kinds of books. Not at all. I need total and complete happiness at the end of the books I read. If I want the sadness of reality I just turn on the news. But, having said that, this book just wouldn't leave me alone. It kept calling out to me, demanding to be read ... so finally, I listened. And it has been an absolutely powerful experience. Earth moving, gravity stopping, overwhelming. Perfect. I loved it. There will always be a spot in my heart for this book.

The Book Thief is a story of contrasts:

Love in the midst of cursings.
Courage in the midst of cowardice.
Happiness in the midst of sorrow.
Strength in the midst of weakness.
Humor in the midst of tragedy.
Life in the midst of death.

Through it all is the experience of a foster child in World War II Germany, a girl with a gift for words and a growing understanding of the complexity of the world in which she lives. The cast of this story is absolutely wonderful. Ilsa, Max, Rosa, Rudy (LOVE HIM!), Hans (SUPER LOVE HIM!), and even Frau Holtzapfel. So wonderful! They provide a richness to this story of ordinary people forced into extraordinary circumstances. No amount of description I offer in this review will do any of them justice. The book just needs to be read in order to understand just how marvelous they are.

Interestingly enough, as I first read this novel I didn't feel a huge drive to read it all the time. I could pick it up and put it down without thinking much about it. It was a collection of seemingly simple moments in the lives of these characters. Yes, the moments were interesting, but nothing really pulled me into the story completely. But, this book ended up being for me much as a cherished relationship. At first you pass on the street, exchanging pleasantries. Soon there are conversations. Life happens, and before you know it, you realize that this person means the world to you. It wasn't one event that created this powerful friendship. It was a collection of events. That is how I experienced this book. Before I knew what hit me I realized how much I cared about these characters ... how much I did not want for them to leave ... ever.

That is all I can say, realizing that my meager words cannot do this book justice. I think I have to agree with the narrator of this book, Death (seems like a weird choice, but it works), when he says, "I am haunted by humans." Few words, so much meaning. I will be thinking about the events of this story for a long, long time. Five huge stars!

We Got This!

I know that I shared a bit of this story during stake conference today, but I wanted to write it down for posterity. So here it is:

We had a historic stake conference this weekend where our stake was split and a new stake was created. For those who are unfamiliar with how our church is organized, here's a little explanation. Each congregation of our church is organized into a ward or a smaller branch. A group of these congregations is collected together into a stake which is presided over by a stake president and two counselors. When they reach a certain size they are split into small units to facilitate growth. That's the basics. So this weekend our stake became two stakes, an event that will make the Church even more responsive and convenient to the members all over the area. A great thing!

Well, yesterday we had two general authorities visiting the area to help reorganize the stake presidencies, Elder Shayne Bowen of the 1st Quorum of the Seventy, and Elder Michael Southward, our Area Authority.

Elder Southward

Elder Bowen

These two men interviewed several leaders within the stake to see who the Lord desired to have as the president. Herman interviewed early in Lebanon and then came back to Waynesville for the rest of the morning. The interview only took about ten to fifteen minutes. No big deal.

The leadership session of conference didn't begin until 4 pm, but Herman and I decided that we would head back to Lebanon early to go out for lunch and then maybe do a bit of shopping in the great metropolis there. As soon as we arrived in town, President Nigliazzo, the current stake president, called Herman and asked him to come meet with the two general authorities. I expected that they would want for him to meet in the Lebanon ward building, but after a few minutes it became apparent that they would prefer to meet us in our home in Waynesville. Herman looked over at me and mouthed, "They want to come to our house."

Well, at that moment I thought of my house not as it could be, but as it truly was. At any one moment it is entirely possible that it would look as if a small tornado might have gone through it. I have one child in particular (who will not be named) who really believes that clothing is optional and it currently in an underwear only phase when at home. The breakfast dishes were probably still on the table. I couldn't remember if I had recently cleaned the main bathroom, and even if I had, there were no guarantees as to what it would look like after a morning of little child bathroom runs. In short ... I panicked!!

While Herman was on the phone with President Nigliazzo I grabbed my phone and quietly called our house. Laney is home for Thanksgiving break, and she answered the phone. I whispered ...

"Laney, some General Authorities are on the way to our house. I need you to clean the bathrooms."

Luckily we live thirty minutes from Lebanon, so we had a bit of time to work with. Still, even with that thirty minute head start I wasn't entirely certain that there would be enough time to get our house in presentable form. But Laney was so sweet. She just heard the dilemma and said ...

"Don't worry, Mom. We got this. Oh ... I'll make cookies too!"

And right away my anxiety melted off. All was well. It turned out that they didn't end up making the drive to Waynesville. Since we were already in Lebanon they just met us at the church building there. All my worries were not needed. And (bonus!!), the house was clean and there were fresh cookies for us when we got home.

I got to thinking about that idea of "we got this" that Laney promoted when meeting my crisis of the moment, and I thought that those words really do capture what we have attempted to do as a family as we serve the Lord. In the course of this service things aren't always easy or convenient, but "we got this" because we know that the work we are doing serves a higher purpose. It matters, and when things matter it is worth a little harship in order to get the job done. I know that we don't always practice this principle to perfection. Sometimes we don't quite "get it." But we try, and when we fail we get up and try again. And isn't that part of the great blessing of this life? We get the opportunity to wake up each day and begin again, trying to do better today than we did the day before.

This is a new adventure for us as a family as Herman gets the opportunity to serve as the new stake president of the St. Robert Stake. We've already gotten pretty used to some of the sacrifices that this calling asks of us ... sitting without him each Sunday as he travels around the stake, lots and lots of broken conversations as Herman takes phone calls from those who are in need, late night meetings, etc. I don't anticipate this being much different. But whatever we are needed for, we'll do it. We'll do it because we truly do love this gospel. It is an essential part of the makeup of our family. It is my anchor in an ever shifting world. So when we are called upon ... no worries. We got this!

Eight Things

There has been this neat little thing on facebook lately where people post a number of facts about themselves, and then when people like their status they pass out a number, and we are supposed to post something about ourselves. I ended up getting the number eight, and I decided to post the things I wrote on the blog as well, just for posterity, I guess. Here you go:

1. My senior year of high school I wrote a paper about where I thought I would be when I was thirty years old. My response? I would be riding my bike across Europe, fighting political oppression. I'm not sure exactly how one little American girl on a bike was going to fight the forces of evil in Europe, but I was a great idealist at the time. Needless to say, I didn't end up doing that. When I was thirty I was a Mormon mom of four living the dream in Waynesville, MO. (I still have that paper. My family thinks it is hilarious).

2. I did really love to ride my bicycle cross country when I was younger. My family rode a lot, and when I graduated from high school I did RAGBRAI, the huge bike race across Iowa. It was great fun, and I only cried once on the journey!

3. I hate macaroni and cheese. The squishy feeling of air whenever you chew it grosses me out.

4. My great dream in life is to write novels. I actually have one book that is completely plotted out, chapter by chapter, but I am super nervous to put it all on paper. Too many fears to mention here ... but I will conquer them. I WILL!

5. Sometimes when I am unfortunate enough to be in a medical waiting room, stuck there for an extended amount of time, and forced to watch CNN for hours at a time, I really, REALLY think that I could go in an fix that once great network. Seriously, I think that I, Melissa Blau, know exactly how to make that a respected news outlet once again. So ... call me, CNN. I'll take care of you. 

6. I spend too much time worrying about the space/time continuum and the effect of time travel on historical events. Don't ask me why. I don't even know. What time would I travel to, and what would I do once I got there? Victorian England, in the English countryside, not Dickensian London ... and I would spend my entire time observing, but hiding the background, trying not to be noticed, so that I didn't accidentally do something to destroy the history of the modern world. I know. I'm weird. And a little boring.

7. Once in college I watched West Side Story every single day for like a year. But I only watched up to the "wedding" scene. I didn't like the sad ending.

8. I am a huge fan of Les Miserables. I have seen the stage production six times. I once dreamed a dream of playing my trumpet for the pit orchestra in a professional production, but, let's be honest, I wasn't even close to being that good. Still, I did my honors thesis on the book in college. One of my professors asked me to submit my thesis to a scholarly journal for publication, but I never did. Still that paper and all the work that went into it is one of my favorite college achievements.

Maybe You've Heard of This Movie ...

I don't know if anyone knows this or not, but Herman has a bit of a hobby. He likes to buy rental properties. A lot. He isn't into high market rentals. Instead, he looks for super great buys that we can either pay cash for or get five year loans so that we can pay the property off quickly. Somehow last summer he ended up befriending a sweet little old lady whose husband had passed away. She wanted to leave this area which she has known her entire life in order to move to New Mexico to live with her daughter. Before she could leave, however, she needed to sell this property she owned. No one was interested ... until she met Herman. It was exactly what he was looking for, so we made up a contract, bought her place, and she moved to her daughter's. All was well.

Until this week. Miss Clara likes to send out her Christmas cards early, so she went to her boxes looking for her stash of cards and couldn't find them anywhere. This box also had some important personal items as well, so Clara was a bit worried, thinking that she had left them behind. She called me several times during the week, but I don't mess with our properties at all. That is Herman's gig or something we turn over to our property manager, Ray. Herman has never been around when Clara called, so we could never let her know if she had left this box behind. I felt so bad for her because she was obviously distressed.

Well, tonight Miss Clara called again. This time I had done my homework and knew that her box had not been left behind. I had to break that bad news to her, which made me a bit sad, but as I talked with her we came up with a plan for where she could look next and hopefully find her missing box.

And here is where things got interesting ...

Miss Clara likes to talk. A lot. I am a terrible conversationalist. Terrible. And as bad as I am in real life, I am even worse on the phone. I just don't know what to say. Ever. But it was okay because Miss Clara talked enough for both of us. She talked with me a lot about her family and the wonderful time she has had living in New Mexico. She talked about her husband and how much she missed him. Then she started to explain to me why her daughter was not in New Mexico with her. Here's how the conversation went:

Miss Clara: Well, my daughter isn't here to help me look for this box because she's in England right now

Me: Wow! England. That sounds fun!

Miss Clara: Yeah. Well, my granddaughter actually needed to be there because she was in a movie. Maybe you've heard of it. It's that Catching Fire movie. You know it?

Me: Do I know it? Yeah! Am I going to the midnight premier? Yeah!!!

Miss Clara: Great! Well, when you go you need to look for my granddaughter.

(At this point I'm thinking that she is an extra in the movie, so I'm thinking, "How in the world am I going to notice your granddaughter in a huge crowd?" Well, Miss Clara is going to help me out here).

Miss Clara: She's that girl with blond hair. It'll be pulled back into two braids. Well, that is it will be unless they changed it from the last movie. She's thirteen, but she looks a lot older. My granddaughter is Willow Shields. She plays that girl ... Primrose Everdeen.

What?????? Primrose Everdeen??? Wow! That is amazingly cool. She's in the UK this week to go to the world premier. So sweet!

I had no idea that our sweet Miss Clara was so connected to that movie. I would have never in a million years guessed that. Then Miss Clara tells me that she really, really wanted to get her Christmas cards sent out this week because next week she is headed to LA to go to the US premier with Primrose herself. Well, I really, really wish that I could have helped her find her cards so that she will be ready for that premier.

Well, I'm a total fan girl about The Hunger Games ... well, at least the first two books. I didn't care for the last one (sorry to all you mega fans out there). But I was cool. I didn't gush ... too much. I just thought it was hilarious how Miss Clara just dropped that little tidbit calmly into the conversation. I don't think she really knows much about The Hunger Games and what sort of following the books and movies have at all. She just loves her granddaughter and is happy that she is finding success in her life. I just love Miss Clara so much. Who knew that buying a property would introduce us to such a sweet person?

So, it was an exciting phone conversation for a book nerd like me tonight. I'll bet lots of people out there have great stories like that just waiting to be revealed, if I would only take the time to talk a little more on the phone. Someday I'll get over my phone phobia. Someday. Until then Miss Clara asked me today if she can call and talk more off and on. She may be the only person on earth who has ever purposely wanted to talk to me a lot on the phone. Like I say, I'm terrible. But I felt good tonight talking with Miss Clara. I could tell that she was feeling a bit lonely all by herself in New Mexico. She was feeling a bit nostalgic for Missouri, and I was able to be a connection to her home. What a rewarding conversation!

Happy Gotcha Day Anniversary!

Today marks two years since the first day that we met our sweet Eliza. I can't believe it has been so long. It seems like it was just yesterday. For a look back at that amazingly wonderful day, check out our blog post HERE. 

A lot has happened in two years. A lot. She was four when we got her, and thanks to American legal magic, she is four now. Minsy's language skills are way better than they were even a year ago, and yet she really, really lags behind where she should be. The school district is giving her some pretty intensive therapy, but she still seems to talk like your average one and a half year old. We are seriously concerned about this, worried that she is going to have significant intellectual delays or at least lots of communication difficulties. Lately I have been wondering if there is some sort of block in her mind, preventing her from strong verbal communication. Her receptive language is great. In other words, she can understand almost everything that is said to her. It is when she tries to say things back that things get wonky. I have wondered if maybe we could bypass whatever block might be there by using sign language instead of relying on verbal communication. That is just something that popped in my head this week, so I'm still doing some research, but it seems as if that might be a direction we will be headed as a family. That seems daunting to me, but I think we can figure it out. It's just like learning another language, right? And that's what we do. We are reasonably good at learning new languages as a family, I think.

Even by changing her age to four she is extremely small for her age. She is on a high calorie diet to try and make up some height, but so far it hasn't really shown much of a difference. She may be that girl who graduates high school less than four feet tall. It'll be fine, no matter what, but I sure hope that I can do whatever is necessary to give her as much help with her growth as I can. It sure would help if she liked milk products at all. All the high calorie diets love to use milk products, and she hates most of them. Shopping for this diet is a nightmare. Have you ever gone grocery shopping looking for high calorie items? Sure, they are out there, but today's push is for lower calorie items. It feels weird to look on boxes, hoping to find the product that is the least heart healthy for us. 

When we first got Minsy she was very compliant ... almost too compliant. She never really expressed her opinions about anything, and she would wait until we gave her permission for her to do anything. That has changed a lot, thank goodness. She has no problem letting us know what she wants. Her favorite thing to do these days is to let out an exaggerated sigh or say, "Oh, man!" whenever things don't go her way. It is super cute now. I'm sure it won't be when she becomes a teenager, though. 

When she came to our house two years ago she had the world's worst balance. She couldn't stay upright at all. I think she spent the first two months of her time here with giant bruises and scrapes all over her head because she was constantly doing head plants all over the place. To make things worse, she never tried to catch herself when she fell, so she would just ram her head right into the ground. It was so sad. Thanks to great physical therapy she has gotten much stronger with good balance skills, keeping her pretty little face unmarred. 

One of my favorite changes in these two years is seeing Minsy smile in pictures. I didn't notice a lot of Chinese people smiling for pictures when we were in China. We got to go to a lot of popular tourist places in China and see tons of people posing for pictures. Hardly any would smile. The common pose was a straight face with fingers held up in the victory sign. I'm not sure why this was, but Minsy seemed to be used to that custom. All of her pictures were very serious for awhile. In fact, last year for her preschool pictures the company actually sent us two packets because they couldn't get her to look happy for any of the shots. I actually like those pictures a lot, especially when I have them to compare to her pictures this year. Now she is a super smiling girl in all her pictures, and it is super cute.

I feel like I have grown a bit in the last two years as well. Minsy has added new dynamics to our family, causing me to have to adapt a bit. I still have so much more to learn. I can tell that we will be dedicating a lot of time in our lives to helping her overcome the delays she has. There are times when I feel like I am the worst person in the world for this responsibility. Other times I feel as if I have unique qualifications that make this exactly the job for me. I guess it depends on the day. All I know is that this was exactly what our family was supposed to do. It has been such a blessing for all of us. These past two years have been a wild ride at times, but they have been so worth it. I love my little Minsy Moo!

Just for kicks ... here is a cute video from Minsy's Gotcha Day in China (but beware, the camera work is super shaky)  ...

And here is one of her today ...

Choices

As a parent I have always hoped that my children would develop their own personal testimonies about Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the restored gospel. It is super that I believe, but ultimately they will have to make their own choices. We are a church that values free choice. We are free to choose our own paths in life. The bummer is that we can't always choose the consequences for those actions, but, nevertheless, we still have the right to choose to do whatever we wish in life. That is a hard thing as a parent sometimes, because I really, REALLY would like to just make the choices for my children sometimes, you know? But because I recognize that my children will have to choose for themselves sooner or later I try to guide them along the path as best I can and hope that they will have experiences that will help them to believe as strongly as I do about this gospel. Watching and waiting for this to happen can be a bit nerve-wracking at times, but it has been rewarding to see this process play out.

I just had to share one of those "Yea!" moments that I got to see as a parent this week. Savannah is growing into such a strong and amazing young woman. She has spent several years in Laney's shadow, I think. It wasn't that Laney was overshadowing her or anything like that. I think that it was just that the two of them were a team in so many ways, and while Laney was the girl who was always carrying her journal or her scriptures around as she listened to LDS music and posted her spiritual feelings online, Savannah was quieter about her religious feelings. Her feelings are just as strong, just not as noticeable when Laney is around. Well, since Laney headed to college this fall Savannah has had a chance to show her true colors, and it has been fun to watch. 

Last Saturday our ward youth had a trip to the St. Louis temple. Herman went with Savannah and Spencer, and as he drove Savannah told him that she was missing a big scholar bowl tournament that day. Savannah is the captain of her scholar bowl team. She loves participating, and she is their best player. When she is there they do really well, and when she is gone they do pretty badly. She always looks forward to those competitions, but we had no idea that there was one that weekend. Why? Well, Savannah decided that she was going to the temple trip. She didn't even have to debate it in her mind. She was always going to go. As much as she loves participating in the scholar bowls, she decided that her church activity was more important. I really appreciated that choice. We didn't force her to make it. It was one that she made on her own. Seeing her make those sorts of choices gives me great hope in the choices she will make as she heads out on her own eventually.

I am grateful for those moments like that which give me a glimpse into the inner feelings of my children. I think that my favorite thing about this is that Savannah didn't make a big deal about it at all. She just made her choice. She didn't need to advertise the dilemma. She didn't need to point out her faithfulness. She just chose to act, and then she acted. Awesome! Another tender mercy for me as a parent. Hooray!

Tender Mercies

Yesterday was such a hard day for me. It shouldn't have been, but it was. Most of the time I feel like I juggle this being a mom of seven role pretty well, but then there are days like yesterday where I feel like a total failure. I should say right off the bat that this is not one of those posts that are meant to elicit a ton of comments saying, "No, Melissa. You are an AMAZING mom!" It will probably seem a lot like that as I write, but I don't need anyone to say that. I'm okay. But yesterday was hard, and every once in a while I have a mini breakdown where I just feel frustrated with myself. That's what happened. But this is a happy story in the end. Trust me.

This is not my chili. But by the end
of the night my crock pot was
full to the brim, just like this bowl.

Yesterday was one of those days where I felt as if I was being pulled all over the place, but never actually arriving where I need to be. It was the annual chili cook-off and trunk or treat party at church, so I spent the afternoon preparing some chili for the event. I'm not ever totally concerned about winning the silly competition. That's always just for fun. But I have noticed for several years that it seems as if my chili is always the one that is least touched of all the choices. Every. Single. Year. I'm starting to get a complex about it. Really ... I am. I don't know why it is. Truthfully, I'm not even sure why I care. But I do. I really do. So every year I try to tweak my recipe a bit. One year people were talking about how much they appreciated fresh tomatoes in the chili, so I added fresh tomatoes to my recipe. One year people were talking about how much they liked the heat from the chilies, so I added a bit more heat. One year the talk was about the "smokiness" of the flavor, so I added more smokiness. But .... NOTHING. My chili seemed to be totally unpopular. I thought that maybe it might be because the presentation lacked something, so this year I made sure that my chili looked super nice with lots of variation of color and texture. It looked delicious. NOTHING. Last night my chili still was the least touched of all chili. Erg! I started to realize how my experience with this chili is the perfect metaphor for how I lived my entire adolescence ... desperately trying to change things about myself in order to get some sort of nebulous approval from the masses. And that's just sad. Really, really sad. But I should clarify. I'm not saying that I'm really devastated about my chili performance. I really am joking ... a little. I think I'm just a tad ridiculous for worrying about it so much. So I'm only kidding about how upset I am every year. I'm a survivor. I'll be back next year with a new tweak to my recipe ... sure to end up with lots and lots of left-overs yet again for us to carry home.

But, anyway, after spending all afternoon slaving over a not-so-hot crock pot I ran to three different schools to pick up Katie, Hyrum, and JoJo. I brought everyone home, and they started getting dressed for the Halloween party. Every year I have grand designs about getting our whole family dressed thematically in some way. I always wanted us to come as the Village People one year so we could do a fancy YMCA performance. Or I wanted Laney and Savannah to come as the Bee Gees so they could do their sweet Stayin' Alive karaoke. It really is so much fun to see them sing this. I've always had a lot of neat ideas, and then they just fall apart. I run out of time, or I run out of creative juices. It never fails. We always find ourselves on the day of our Halloween party scrambling to get costumes together. Luckily Herman has put together a ton of costume parts during his after Halloween sales runs, so we can throw things together pretty easily. Unfortunately, yesterday I felt like I didn't have a second of time to help the kids at all. Everybody was able to grab something. True, Minsy went as a pumpkin again this year since her costume from last year still fit ... even though she really, really wanted to be a cat. And Hyrum ... sweet, sweet Hyrum ... was not able to find anything that fit him very well, but he grabbed a vest, stuck it on and said, "Look, Mom! I'm Han Solo." He is so good to me to be content with such a costume. It all worked out.

But as I was putting together the finishing touch on my soon-to-be-looked-at-but-not-eaten chili I heard the doorbell ring. We forgot to pick up Minsy at the bus stop. She rides a bus to and from her Early Childhood Education class, but because we live on a dead end street that is difficult to drive for the big busses, we have to meet the bus around the corner. If we ever forget the bus aide has to walk her all the way to our house. As Hyrum answered the door I remembered that I was supposed to be at a parent teacher conference with Minsy's teacher an hour earlier. Her teacher had stayed late that day to meet with us, and we totally forgot. I totally forgot.

After feeling frazzled about that I realized that I hadn't taken any time to put together my seminary lesson for this morning, and I wasn't going to have any extra time until late at night. I hate waiting until the last minute to get prepared. I was starting to really get unhinged about things ... but the night was only getting started.

Spencer had his last soccer game of the year yesterday. I wanted to be there to support him, but the rest of the family was excited to go to the ward party, so we needed to make a decision. Originally Herman was going to go to the soccer game while I managed the church party, but then Herman had to meet with a young man to release him from his mission, so he couldn't do either. Luckily Savannah could drive everyone to church. She loaded up the family, grabbed my crock pot of chili, and headed to the church. I told her that I would get there as quick as I could, and then I headed out to the soccer game.

But I was 45 minutes late!!!

Spencer only plays half the game, so I was worried that I would have missed all of his playing time for his very last game. I drove to the soccer field, but they weren't there, and I remembered that they would be at the football field for this game. I had to turn around and head to the other side of town, making me even more late.

Well, as I turned around and headed to this soccer game that I would probably miss I thought about how I hadn't made very good costumes for the kids. I thought about how my chili probably tasted horrible. I thought about how Savannah was having to take care of all the kids for me. I thought about how I had not taken any time to help Herman with his dissertation this week like I promised. I thought about how terrible it was that I missed a parent teacher conference for Minsy when she has so many educational needs that need to be discussed. I thought about how absolutely disgusting the house looked as I left. The kitchen was trashed. The bathrooms were trashed. My room was trashed. And I could go on. It is a disaster zone ... one of those "how can she live this way" sort of disaster zones. I thought about so many things that I was failing at as a wife and a mother. I felt horribly overwhelmed and completely inadequate. I was about to seriously self destruct as I headed to this soccer game. It was not pretty. At one point I just had to say, "I AM SO BAD AT THIS!!!"

But ...

When I got to the football field (side note -- WHS has the most beautiful and amazing sports complex of almost any school in Missouri. I love it!) I found that the game had been delayed because of storms, and Spencer didn't start the game. Instead he was put into the game ... right when I got to the field! I didn't miss him playing at all. Then when it seemed as if I was going to have to miss the entire church activity the storms began again. Spencer's game ended up being called at the half -- He won!. I didn't miss anything, and we were able to run over to the church. I missed the meal, but I was there for the trunk or treat which actually ended up being held inside because of the rain. That was an added bonus since I didn't have to feel sad about not decorating our car like I always wish I could for these events. Savannah had helped everyone wonderfully, and another girl at church had even adopted Minsy for the night so that she was taken care of while Savannah handed out candy for our family (Thanks, Brooke!). Everything worked out.

Spencer is on the far right. It's not a great pic because I was so far away.

That whole evening got me thinking about tender mercies. We have been talking about tender mercies a lot in seminary this year because of Nephi's promise that he would show the tender mercies of the Lord in all things. As a class we take time every Tuesday morning to share any tender mercies in our lives. We have had some great experiences with this, and it has been such a good thing for the youth to be able to see the good things that happen to them in the midst of some bad things they have to go through. Looking for the blessings each day helps us to stay positive and have hope no matter what happens. But even as I expect this from the youth, I have also been trying to notice the tender mercies in my life as well.

Last night as we drove home from the activity I thought about a few tender mercies that I recognized in the midst of my frazzled day. The first thing was Hyrum's costume. He was so sweet to just be happy with his vest and his belief that simply wearing a vest over his regular clothes could transform him into Han Solo. He had no problem showing up at church with that for his costume. What a blessing to have such a patient child! And then to have Spencer's soccer game work out so well for me was another blessing. I was able to support Spencer and his team despite my utter lack of time management skills. What a tender mercy to have Savannah take all of her younger siblings to an incredibly chaotic activity without complaint. She didn't whine because she would be missing out on something she wanted to do. She just volunteered and did it happily. She is a blessing to me.

One other tender mercy also involved costumes, but this one didn't end up making the cut. Still, it was so sweet that I had to share it. Katie is being compared to Laney a lot, especially as she has gotten taller and more mature. They look so similar that I am often mistakenly calling her Laney all the time ... but I'm getting better. I am. Well, yesterday as she was getting ready for school she said that she thought she would just dress up like Laney for Halloween since she already looked so much like her. Herman asked her what she would do for a costume, and Katie said, "I would just wear that skirt that Laney made, put on a white shirt with a cover-up, stick my hair up in a bun, and carry a Book of Mormon around with me everywhere." Too sweet! She put together her costume for me so that I could take a picture.

Looks just like Laney, right?

I thought it was sweet that Katie recognized Laney as such a good girl and wanted to emulate her in some way for Halloween. She ended up actually going as Queen Elizabeth, wearing the excellent gown that has been passed down through all the years for each of the Blau girls to wear at one time or another, but this little shout out to Laney was nice.

But all of this brings me to the master tender mercy that I recognized this morning before I headed off to teach seminary. It requires just a bit of background story in this already lengthy post. Sorry for that. Laney has been attending college at BYU-Idaho this entire semester, and she has been having a great time. That university is a great fit for her. As I've already explained in several posts, it has been difficult for me to have her away at school, but I have figured out how to manage well enough. Well, Laney has had a difficult week or so. It's nothing serious, and she is handling things just fine, but I have really been sad that I could not be right there with her as she worked through things. This is my interpretation of things. Laney might describe it all differently, but it seems as if Laney has been getting a little bit of grief from some of her acquaintances for her obedience to rules. She is being labeled as a Goody Two Shoes, and apparently this is not a good thing in some circles. I perceived that Laney was frustrated that people were not appreciating her for who she really was. They didn't KNOW her. Instead they were labeling her. For me this was especially frustrating because she is at a church school. Wouldn't it make sense that obedience to rules would be appreciated at a church school? It seems like it should. But from my outside perspective it seemed as if Laney's obedience was appreciated and valued more at WHS than it is at BYU-I. Even though the students here did not share Laney's religious beliefs it seemed as if they could appreciate her dedication and then see her true personality in addition to that. At least recently it seems as if that was not the case with some of her acquaintances at BYU-I. But Laney has been keeping a good perspective on this little hiccup during her first semester. She has learned some great lessons and turned this into an opportunity for blessings ultimately. She is doing a lot better than I would have in a similar situation. Still, I hated being so far away as she seemed to be having a bit of home sickness. I wanted to be there to comfort her or at least to be able to have eyes on the situation to see if things were as bad as I was imagining. I felt helpless. Totally helpless.

But it seemed as if things had been getting a bit better for Laney in the last few days. She was able to get together with a few friends from our stake who are out there in the area, and they really know Laney and love her for who she is. On Monday morning after a particularly difficult weekend Laney woke to find that some of her classes were cancelled for the day, giving her a bit of a reprieve. And then yesterday Laney received a bundle of letters from a friend who is a missionary serving in Mexico. She had been writing him since he left last spring, but I think she only got one letter in return, and then she received nothing else from him for months. I guess he had been forgetting to bring his letters to mail to her whenever they would gather them to send as a pouch back to the US, but he kept writing new ones, nevertheless. Finally he was able to remember to bring them, and so she got them all as a package yesterday. Super sweet! I could tell that that had made Laney's day a little bit brighter. Hooray!

Well, this morning as I knelt down to say my prayers before leaving for seminary I was praying for Laney and hoping that things would keep getting better every day, and I had such a distinct thought. I felt like the Lord took a moment to remind me of these local friends who had taken time to hang out with Laney over the weekend. I was reminded of Katie's little costume shout out to Laney's goodness and example. And then I was reminded of that package of letters. I felt that there were others there at BYU-I and elsewhere that had also taken time to message or text or call Laney to say something meaningful to her during these days. I felt a distinct impression that these were not random acts. I felt as if this missionary had not simply forgotten to mail these letters because of gross incompetence. Instead I felt as if he had been meant to wait until this time to mail these letters because it was super important to Laney to get them right now at such a difficult time in the semester. And as I had these thoughts I felt as if the Lord was telling me, "Be at peace. She is not alone. I am taking care of her, and I KNOW who she is." It was such a powerful moment for me and the ultimate example of the Lord's tender mercies in my life. I am so, so thankful for that moment.

So it was a crazy day yesterday, and a lot of things went wrong for me. I made a few mistakes along the way. But sometimes it takes those crazy hard days for me to recognize the great blessings in my life. I have a wonderfully supportive family, a great foundation to keep me from falling too far when I do fail, and a ridiculously happy existence. I can't ask for much more. Thank goodness for the opportunities I have to see so many tender mercies in my life. Life is good! And do you know what? I'm not that bad of a parent. If nothing else, I am providing excellent material for my children to use later in life as they write their best selling memoirs.

Be Not Afraid by Greg Olsen