Meditations on a Life of Organized Chaos: Called to Serve ... the Sequel

Things hardly feel real to me today. I feel a weird sense of emptiness. Somewhere in the back of my mind I feel like I should be freaking out or something, but I feel relatively peaceful about everything. Still, my heart is full with this weird mix of sadness and happiness after sending Savannah away today to begin her 18 months of service as a full time missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. She'll be attending the MTC in Mexico City for six weeks where she'll learn to teach the gospel in the Spanish language. Then she'll be back to the US to spend the remainder of her mission serving in the California Bakersfield mission. These feelings shouldn't be a surprise to me. We've done this before as Laney left to serve in Chile two years ago. But it doesn't get any easier. Even when I feel like this is the best thing for Savannah to be doing right now it doesn't keep me from hurting so much as I think about how much we are going to miss her.

Just because I think it will be cathartic to do it, here are some things I'll miss about Savannah:

1. Her amazing sense of humor. Savannah can see the funny in almost any situation, and she tells the best stories. I love to sit in another room and listen to her talking with her siblings and making them all laugh. I hope that her letters home will show some of this humor, but I'm not sure it'll translate to written language quite as easily as it flows from her mouth.

2. Her relationships with Spencer and Laney. Spencer and Laney are pretty different people, but for some reason Savannah clicks wonderfully with both of them. Spencer just comes alive when Savannah is around, and I never really noticed that until she was gone to school this past semester and then returned home for Christmas break. I love how Savannah and Laney giggle so much when they are together, but I also love how Savannah is good at keeping Laney centered, especially when it comes to relationships and things like that.

3. Her love for really odd old movies, old not-so-classic television, and old radio programs. Savannah told me that one of her BYU roommates this past semester told her that she could see Savannah marrying someone a lot older than her. I'm not so sure about that, but I can see why her roommate said that. Savannah has old tastes in entertainment ... not old like me or even old like my parents. I think that people of my grandparents' generation would have really jived with Savannah and her media preferences. It's not just that Savannah watches or listens to these things. She revels in it with so much joy and enthusiasm that you can't help but want to watch along with her. Over Christmas break she introduced us to the French classic film from the 1960's, Les Parapluies de Cherbourg. What a downer of a movie/musical! But it's a classic, and watching with Savannah took what could have been one of those experiences that I would call an extreme waste of two hours of my life and turned it into a classic family moment. There is this famous song from the movie that we couldn't get out of our heads, and throughout the last week Herman, Laney, and Savannah would start humming it as background music if anyone started being a Debbie Downer about anything. So funny! I'll miss those sorts of moments.

4. Her ability to quote a movie or television program without missing a beat in order to match whatever situation we find ourselves in. Savannah must have the entire SpongeBob series memorized. Okay, probably not, but it is uncanny how quickly she can pull up a SpongeBob quote perfect for the moment. Uncanny. It's part of the thing that makes us laugh so much as we head through life.

5. Her musical talents. There is very little that gives me as much joy as hearing Savannah playing the piano each morning as I'm waking up. She has always played the piano because it brought her peace and joy. In fact, when I had pretty much given up on arranging piano lessons for my children Savannah took it upon herself to teach herself to play better. I love hearing her play the organ in church. The organ in our church isn't functioning 100%, so I can't wait to have her return so that we can take her somewhere where all the organ functionality is working so that I can hear the full range of her talent. I hope she gets lots and lots of opportunities to play on her mission.

Well, I'm feeling tapped out when it comes to inspiration today. I feel like my words just aren't working, so instead I'll just share a few pictures taken today and yesterday as Savannah was set apart and headed off on her mission adventure. They won't tell the whole story of what is going on in my head, but they'll help a little. Here you go ...

The very best thing about Herman's calling as a stake president is the opportunity it gives him to set apart our children as full-time missionaries. He is so good at imparting wisdom and letting missionaries realize the blessing that they will be in the lives of those they serve on their missions. I love hearing the blessings he promises in the setting apart blessing. They are the best! I love hearing the blessings he offers to others, but it is extra special to hear those blessings given to our children. You can truly feel the Holy Ghost testifying of the importance of this work and their role in sharing it with the world.

Everyone was fine until JoJo started to cry. He came up to me
and said, "I don't know why, but for some reason I am more sad
for Savannah to leave than I was when Laney left. I don't want her
to go." Awwwww.

And that's when Savannah lost it.

And the day finally arrived. I LOVE leaving from the Springfield airport. It's so
small and personal. There is no stress at all due to the airport. It gives us time
to stress out only because we are sad to see her go.