A Sad Tale of Purple Corduroy and Leg Warmers

Today was the last day in my week of school shopping for the six Blau children. I have to divide the back-to-school shopping into two days because I think I would go insane if I had to take all six kids at one time to get this shopping done.  When I have attempted it in the past I have ended up bringing home a nice collection of gangsta memorabilia and booty shorts.  I'll think that I have a good handle on what is ending up in the cart, only to see that I woefully neglected my duties as head shopper.  When I was a girl I always thought that I would love shopping.  I never did it much back then because I never had a lot of money, but I was absolutely certain that my lack of funds was the only thing keeping me from total joy as I shopped.  Well, now I'm older, and I don't suffer for lack of funds, but I have found that I absolutely detest shopping.  Does that make me un-American?  I'm not sure.  I just find that it stresses me out to hunt through all the racks of clothing, trying to decide what will best look right on me.  I find something that looks cute, only to try it on and find that it looks ridiculous on me.  The older I get, the harder shopping becomes.  I really only enjoy shopping in one store -- Christopher and Banks.  But, the other day when I was in there I noticed that everyone else shopping there had to be at least in their sixties.  When I started to think about it I thought that that might be the only real demographic of shoppers who I have ever seen in that store.  I'm sure that isn't true, but I think it says a lot about how conservative my clothing choices lean as I get older.

As I shopped with my children this year I think that for the first time I really felt OLD as they pulled out the latest fashions to try on.  I thought the clothes were absolutely hideous.  Shopping for boys is still pretty easy because there isn't a lot of variation in boy clothing.  But it seems like every year the clothing for girls changes.  I really want for my girls to be dressed nicely, but I just can't keep up with the trends.

Whenever one of the Blau kids enters kindergarten, I take them on a one-on-one date with Mommy to Springfield to spend time together while doing back to school shopping.  This year I took JoJo.  He is the last of my babies to enter school (until Minsy gets here soon), and I was a little sad thinking about this as we hung out in Springfield.  Well, while we were there I saw a really cute plaid shirt that was on sale.  I tried it on, and I looked okay, so I bought it.  I'm not normally inclined to buy plaid, so I felt like I was being a little fashion-forward with this risky (for me) purchase.  So, I get home, and we laid out our haul on the bed for everyone to see, and I showed Laney and Savannah that I wasn't a total fashion geek.  After all, I'd bought this very trendy plaid shirt.  Laney looks at it and says, "Mom, those shirts have been in style since I was in 7th grade."  So now, citizens of the world, I can announce with certainty that plaid shirts will be going out of style within the next year.  Prepare yourselves.  It is inevitable.  I bought one, so they are on the way out.

The shopping adventures of this week brought back a couple of memories from my youth that, sadly, shaped my fashion self-image, and have given me huge anxiety about what I am shopping for.  The first memory is of my brief experience with leg warmers.  When I was in junior high everyone who was anyone had leg warmers, and they were soooo cool to wear.  I wanted leg warmers soooo much, but I was part of a large family, and we didn't have a ton of money to spend on clothing, so we did a lot of shopping at outlet stores.  These are not the outlet stores that are so popular in society today where we can go to the Gap and get that super cute hoodie that I saw at the mall at 40% off.  No, these outlets were stores that big chains like JCPenney and Sears would have to sell off their clothes and other things that had not sold from their flagship stores.  Often these clothes were from the past year.  These stores were a great blessing to a large family living on a limited income, and I was able to get by with good clothes, so I have no complaints about this.  But, this is not a story about those stores.  This is a story about the sweet pair of leg warmers that I found one day as my family was back-to-school shopping.  Oh, I had wanted leg warmers for so long, and now I had found them.  They were gorgeous -- powder blue, and oh so warm.  My legs were going to be styling that year.  But then I showed up to school that year wearing my leg warmers, covering an equally sweet powder blue pair of jeans, only to see that I must have been the ONLY person in my school wearing leg warmers.  What happened?  Where had everyone stored their sweet leg warmers?  How had I missed the end of this trend?  So, my super insecure self took my much hoped for pair of powder blue leg warmers and hid them away in the deep recesses of my closet.  Sigh.

And the fashion woes of my youth did not end there.  I believe it may have been that exact same year, but I had found an outfit that I absolutely adored.  It was super cool -- purple corduroy pants with a purple argyle sweater and purple argyle socks.  But the part of the outfit that sealed it as ultra cool was this purple corduroy men's hat.  I believe that it is called a drivers cap or a hooligan hat.  I don't know.  All I know was that it was super cool.  I loved this outfit.  I would have worn it every day if I could, but in order to limit myself a little, I made sure that I only wore it every single Friday.  That is, I wore it every Friday until one fateful day in junior high when we were taking pictures for the yearbook.  The band was scheduled to get their picture taken that day, and we needed to be in uniform.  We weren't actually performing, so we didn't need to be totally dressed in black, so we kept our socks on for the picture instead of changing them into black ones that would match the uniforms.  So, I was wearing my super stylish purple argyle socks.  While we were waiting for the photographer I heard a fellow band member lean over to the girl sitting next to him and say, "Look at Missy's socks."  His comment was not a big deal.  I don't believe that he meant any harm by it.  But, the girl next to him said, "She wears that outfit all the time."  The words themselves don't really sound all that bad, but the tone said everything.  She was saying it like I was this strange breed of junior high student with a weird choice of clothing.  In reality, I'm not entirely sure that she was trying to be mean.  I don't think she may have meant it to sound to my ears the way I heard it.  I'm actually friends with her to this day, so I don't harbor any ill feelings for this little moment in time.  But, the fact is that hearing her say that made my volatile self start to feel self-conscious about my clothing choices.  I didn't want to wear anything so regularly that people would notice it.  I especially didn't want to purchase any clothing that would stand out.  I became a t-shirt and jeans sort of girl.

It is really silly that I have let these insignificant moments from my past determine my future as Herman often points out.  But, it is what it is, and I do fight a little battle regularly to talk myself through decisions so that I don't let silly past experiences deny me present happiness -- not that my clothing choices have anything to do with my happiness.  These stories, however, do come into play as I shop for my children.  As my nine year-old comes up to me in a store with a super trendy outfit that she loves, I can't help but think of my corduroy pants.  As we find clothing that is super reduced in price I think of my awesome powder blue leg warmers.  As I get dressed for meetings or activities I try to remember exactly what I wore the last time I attended the event so that no one will comment on my lack of variety, even though I can never remember what anyone else has worn, so why would they remember my outfits?  All of these neuroses push at me over and over as I shop with my children each year for school, or Christmas, or Easter, or whatever.  I just endure these outings because it is a necessity with a large family who has the audacity to continue to require larger clothing each year as they get older.  Luckily, other than my sweet nine year-old, Katie, my children are pretty laid back about clothing purchases.  They don't require things to be trendy.  They just want to be comfortable and modest.  Hurray!

I don't think that any of the Blau children have had a leg warmer experience.  To be honest, I think that if they had, they are so self-confident that it wouldn't have destroyed them and left a lasting impression as it did when it happened to their dear mother.  Half of these experiences I had that were so devastating to me as a child and teenager were silly, and my reaction to them was more a result of my low self-esteem than because of any real harm that was done.  That's why I think that as a parent it has been more important for me to help my children to be strong and confident rather than focusing on what fashions I am buying for them.  In the end all of my children (and the rest of the children who are in school with them) will look back on the fashions they wore in these years and wonder how in the world they could have ever worn them.  The fashions won't matter -- it's the people who they have become, and luckily I am blessed with great children who are strong and confident and could probably pull off wearing some powder blue leg warmers without it fazing them in the least.

So Operation Back-To-School Shopping 2011 is complete.  I survived.  All six children survived.  I'd call that a success!

As a side note -- I heard this super cute song on the radio today, and I loved it.  It is not a fancy or complicated song.  In fact, it is pretty juvenile compared to many polished and professionally edited music.  But, I liked the message, and it is a song that had Katie, Hyrum, JoJo, and I bouncing our heads in the car while we listened to it.  I immediately went on iTunes and downloaded it.  Herman is headed to Ames, Iowa, tonight with Laney, Savannah, and Spencer to see the Republican straw poll excitement, and when they called from the road I told them about this new song that I just loved.  When I told them the title and artist Laney said, "NOOOOOOOOO!  Mom, please, NOOOOOOOOOO!"  Turns out, this young man just graduated from Waynesville High School in 2009, I believe, and Laney knows him.  In her words, he's a "dork."  Well, I can't help it.  I still like this song, so I feel no shame in giving a little business to this song-writing "dork."  Do you know why I like this song?  It reminds me of Herman when he travels all over the country doing his workshops for teachers.  He will finish a workshop on the East coast at around 3 pm and have a horrendously long drive ahead of him, but he will get in his car and drive all night to get home instead of stopping at a hotel along the way.  He does this because he loves to be here at home with his family, and he is willing to sacrifice so that he can get here a little earlier.  He's my prince who would drive 1500 miles to be with me, and I thought of him while I heard this somewhat cheesy song.  It makes me smile.  So, here's a youtube video with the lyrics to his song, "1500 Miles", by Austin Morris.  Enjoy!