No Empty Chairs

I absolutely LOVE this picture!
A little side note ...
In order to get this great angle I had to lay down on the concrete at the bottom of the steps.
That concrete felt like it was 250 degrees. I felt like a toaster strudel by the time I took this pic.
But it was worth it!

I am finding this to be an extremely difficult post to write. I started writing yesterday when all of my feelings were fresh, but wasn't feeling it as I wrote. My words seemed completely inadequate. How can any blog post I write adequately describe a perfect day? It just won't. Nothing I write could compare to the experience. After getting a bit of sleep last night I approached this again, hoping my writing neurons would be firing at full speed. I deleted a bunch of the things I wrote yesterday and started over. We'll see how it turns out.

Get ready world, this is probably going  to be another one of those Melissa posts that uses the word 'amazing' way too much. Sorry for that.

For this post I don't want to talk so much about specific experiences. Instead I want to talk about my feelings. I feel like we had a choice opportunity as a family today. It was truly a gift. Today all nine of of our family members entered the St. Louis Missouri Temple so that Minsy could officially be sealed to us for time and all eternity. And it was ... AMAZING!

For those who are not familiar with the doctrines of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we believe that families are eternal, that the family relationships that we cherish in this life can be with us forever. Our families do not end at our death. They continue into eternity. We believe that it is through the sealing power of the holy priesthood in sacred temples that this can take place. And we believe that every single person who ever lives on earth will have the opportunity to receive this blessing if they so desire. For Herman and I, our eternal family began on July 24, 1993 when we were married in the Denver Colorado Temple. Because we were married in the temple, each of our children were "Born in the Covenant", meaning that they were automatically sealed to us as a family forever. It wasn't necessary for us to go back to the temple to specially seal them to us because it was already a done deal. But last November we adopted Minsy from China. Minsy was not our biological child, so she was not automatically sealed to us. In order to include her in our eternal family we needed to go to a temple and participate in a simple (but amazing) ceremony to add her to our eternal family. I'm sure this might not make tons of sense for those who aren't very familiar with our beliefs, but trust me when I say that it is something that I believe with all my heart, and it brings great joy to my family to know that we will be together FOREVER. If you have any more questions, I'd invite you to check out the official Church website for info HERE.

So, anyway, we knew that we needed to be sealed to Minsy. Technically we could have had this done as soon as we returned home from China since she was already legally adopted. But I waited. We were still debating what age she was going to be since she was so tiny, and I kind of wanted to wait and see how that was going to turn out. I wanted to wait until we had designated a firm birthday for her. That finally happened last month when we had our pediatric endocrinologist explain that he felt as if it was best to leave her age the same and work with that information. So we did. And now it was time to get this sealing underway. We decided that we wanted for Minsy to be sealed to us on our anniversary. Our eternal family began on July 24th, 1993, and we thought that it would be fitting that it was completed on July 24th, 2012. 

Herman teaching the Family Home Evening lesson
on the grounds of the temple.

We decided to drive up to St. Louis a day early so that we could have a Family Home Evening on the grounds of the temple and tell the kids what to expect the next day. We had the hardest time getting ourselves out the door, so we didn't get up to St. Louis until almost 8 pm. The temple gates were closed, so we just sat on the outside lawn where we could still see the temple as we had our lesson. I could just feel the excitement that the kids had as they talked about going inside the temple the next day. You know, it isn't a common thing for youth to be able to enter the temple and see a sealing. Most don't get the chance to see one until they are attending their own sealing when they are much older. So this was going to be a big deal for our kids. And they knew it. So they asked lots of questions and shared their feelings about what they expected the day to be like for them. One of our best Family Home Evenings ever.

I will say this about my feelings as the day progressed on Monday ... I was off. I just felt frazzled, and the feeling would not go away. Urg! At 11 pm I realized with horror that I had forgotten to bring our adoption paperwork with us, and that was essential in order to be sealed the next day. We were two hours away from home. Herman was willing to drive back to pick it up, but I didn't want him to make the four hour round trip beginning so late at night. I was a bit distraught, but Herman was nice and calm for us both. He came up with a plan, called his brother who was driving up for the sealing the next day, and Casey agreed to break into our house and grab the papers on his way through town. Hurray! All was saved. Still, I was knocked a bit off my game. That night at about 2 am we heard a knock on our door. Herman got up and found JoJo outside the door wearing nothing but a pair of underwear, in tears. He had woken up to go to the bathroom and somehow found himself out in the hall. This is not an unusual occurrence. He's a bit of a hotel sleep walker. Last year when we were staying at a hotel in Nauvoo we were awoken at about the same time by a man who was staying at the hotel. He had JoJo with him. JoJo had woken up and left our room, but then he got lost and was wandering the halls crying. Luckily the hotel was a small one, and everyone there had met Herman and the kids earlier that night while they were swimming. So he knew to look for us. Still, that FREAKED me out big time. I slept by the door that night because I was terrified of JoJo walking out and getting lost. Last night I thought that we would be okay since the hotel had a latch to keep the door shut. I didn't think JoJo could work that latch. Obviously I was wrong. JoJo returned to us, safe and sound, but I couldn't sleep at all. So I grabbed my book and read a chapter or two and tried to go asleep again. Eventually I fell asleep.

My night of quasi sleep did not help my weird mood. I wasn't really grumpy ...  just off. And I didn't want to be off today. Well, it is in moments like this one that I am soooo grateful to have the priesthood in my home. Herman gave me a blessing to help me get back on track. I won't share any specifics about that blessing. It is too sacred to me. I will say this ... Herman is so good at giving priesthood blessings. In some ways he is like a poet as he blesses me with the things that I need in those blessings. His words ... I just love the way he phrases things. And this blessing was ...AMAZING. It was exactly what I needed. It brought me to tears, and I don't normally cry during blessings. But I could really feel Heavenly Father's love for me and for my family as I listened to the words that Herman spoke. It was just perfect. Then almost immediately a couple of things happened that eased a couple of worries I had been harboring. I don't really want to explain just what happened. Partly because I want to hold those acts close to me, and partly because if I explained what they were I am sure that they would seem ridiculously trivial. But I know that Heavenly Father influenced a couple of people out there to act in a way that was going to help me in this time of need. I LOVE those little moments when I receive a tiny reassurance that Heavenly Father is looking out for me. He's got my back ... ALWAYS.

Now for my feelings about our experience at the temple yesterday. I truly do not know what to say. I just hope that the images of that experience will stay burned on my consciousness FOREVER. You know, when we went to see JD's sealing at the Draper Utah Temple two weeks ago (Check out my post about this wonderful experience HERE.)there were four sealings going on at the same time. The waiting room was packed with visitors waiting to witness those sealings, and the temple workers managed the schedule with precision and detail. It was a process. And those were just the sealings going on at that same time. They were booked this way for most of the morning. Well, in St. Louis we were the main event for the day. As we came to the recommend desk the workers explained that the whole temple was waiting for us. And they treated us wonderfully. After getting the kids situated in the children's waiting area Herman and I came back downstairs to get dressed in white. My temple attendant asked me if I minded using the bridal room to change since no one else was using it today. Would I mind???? No, I would not mind. I was THRILLED. Such a beautiful room! I don't know what it was about that room, but as I stood in front of the giant mirror, dressed all in white, and looked at myself before I headed to meet Herman I felt BEAUTIFUL. Just that morning as I was getting ready in the hotel I was noticing that suddenly my nose seemed enormous, and my skin looked blotchy, and my eyes were all puffy, and my skin was starting to look droopy. I found so many flaws. But as I stood alone and saw myself in the bridal room that day I noticed none of that. Was it the awesome lighting? Magic mirrors? No. I think it was just the place I was in. The Spirit was so strong there. I could feel Heavenly Father's love so purely. How could I not feel beautiful in an atmosphere like that? I've only been able to use the bridal room once before, obviously -- when Herman and I were married nineteen years ago. But at that time there was so much hustle and bustle as I was getting into my wedding gown and preparing for the sealing. Lots of people were there helping me. Today I was alone, and it was so, so wonderful because I was able to take a few moments to just stand before the mirror and think about where my life has come in all these years. I was able to think about the amazing blessing of having the Gospel in my life. And Herman -- my rock, my strength, my eternal love, my best friend in the world. Well, I couldn't imagine my life without him. And my wonderful, amazing, talented, caring, and strong children. They are everything I wish I had been at their ages. They have a love for the Gospel that amazes me constantly. They make good choices, not because they have to, but because they want to. They bring such joy to my life. And they are my ETERNAL family. I just felt so, so blessed at that moment, and I was grateful that I could experience it in solitude for a few minutes before the sealing. 

Minsy after her big day!

Now I'm just going to talk about my feelings instead of any specifics about the experience. I will just say that seeing all of my children together, dressed in white ... I just can't describe my feelings. It was perfect. Absolutely perfect. Seeing all of us stretched out in infinity as we looked into the mirrors together. That is just what it is all about. It was sweet to look around the room and see Herman's family who traveled to St. Louis to share in this day with us. And there were also lots of temple workers who came to witness it as well. I heard several of them remark "What a sweet family!" as they were leaving the room. I totally agree! 

We got a few minutes to stand together at the end of the ceremony, after almost everyone had left the room. After kissing all the kids we came in for a giant Blau hug, and Herman looked each of the kids in the eye and said, "We've all got to make it. Okay? We're all going to make it! We have to." It may be years before we ever have all of our children together in a sealing room like that again. As I looked at each of my seven children I knew that I didn't want any of them to be missing ... ever. Seeing all of them -- all of us -- together that day ... well, it was like I got a glimpse into what it could be like in heaven. It was perfect! I want to see each of them at our eternal family table in heaven. No empty chairs! 

My eternal family ...
Best Anniversary Present Ever!

So Team Blau is now officially complete! As we left the temple Hyrum looked at me and said, "Mom, this was the best day ever!" It was a wonderful day, one that I hope that I will never, ever forget. Every struggle, every sacrifice, every choice to do good in the face of evil ... it is all worth it if my family can be with me forever. One of the great gifts that today brought me was the chance to visually see what my heart already knows ... My family is eternal!