I have a problem ...

Hello. My name is Melissa, and I have a problem. I think. No, it's true. I have a problem. You see, I am desperate to know what is going on in my daughter's life. Desperate. Now the mentally sound thing to do would be for me to just call, right? But here's the thing. I do. We are talking to Laney almost every day, and I know that this is way more than we can expect as Laney continues to grow and create her own life outside of ours.Still, it's not enough for me. I find myself wondering what she is doing and where she is at. I wonder if she is eating enough. I wonder if her roommates are treating her kindly. I wonder if the completely insane dating culture of BYU-Idaho is eating her alive while at the same time wondering if she has a whole camp of boys falling madly in love with her. (After all she is practically perfect in every way. Who wouldn't fall in love with her?) So, as convenient as a simple phone call might be, I am trying super hard to be good and give her the space she needs to grow.  No matter what, I will not give in and call her twenty times a day. I won't. No, instead I will just relentlessly look wherever I can to see if I can glean some sort of information about her life. 

I'm a mess.

With all of this wondering about her life I find myself checking out her facebook page several times a day to see what's up. I told Herman today that I have become a total mess, piecing together what Laney's life must be like based on cryptic facebook posts and comments. When she friends a new person I check them out ... only a little ... mostly to make sure they aren't a creeper. Mostly. But (holy cow!) maybe I am the creeper for being so curious about this new circle of influence in Laney's life. What is wrong with me?

This might be a good time to bring back an oldie but a goodie from my blog posts. This is the one where I realized that I had turned into Mrs. Bennett from Pride and Prejudice. Check it out HERE. Sadly, things seem to be even worse now that Laney is at college. I'm going to have to get myself under control or I'll implode by the time Eliza leaves home. 

I am super grateful that Laney has taken pity on me many times in the last two weeks and called, giving me the nitty gritty details of her social and academic life. I'm going to do better. I am. After all, the first step to conquering a problem is recognizing that you have one, right? I think I'm going to get to work writing that book that is stuck in my head. Maybe creating my own little fictional reality will be enough to distract me from obsessing about Laney's actual reality. I can only hope.